...RELIGION CAN EAT SHIT..
My Life And Death
Showing posts with label Teaching Aaron About Life's Challenges. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Teaching Aaron About Life's Challenges. Show all posts
Monday, 8 October 2012
Homophobia (The reason to hate the muslims and all organized religion)
Homophobia is a range of negative attitudes and feelings toward homosexuality or people who are identified or perceived as being lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender (LGBT). Definitions refer variably to antipathy, contempt, prejudice, aversion, irrational fear, and hatred. In a 1998 address, author, activist, and civil rights leader Coretta Scott King stated that "Homophobia is like racism and anti-Semitism and other forms of bigotry in that it seeks to dehumanize a large group of people, to deny their humanity, their dignity and personhood."
Homophobia is observable in critical and hostile behavior such as discrimination and violence on the basis of sexual orientations that are non-heterosexual. According to the 2010 Hate Crimes Statistics released by the FBI National Press Office, 19.3 percent of hate crimes across the United States "were motivated by a sexual orientation bias." Moreover, in a Southern Poverty Law Center 2010 Intelligence Report extrapolating data from fourteen years (1995–2008), which had complete data available at the time, of the FBI's national hate crime statistics found that LGBT people were "far more likely than any other minority group in the United States to be victimized by violent hate crime."
Recognized types of homophobia include institutionalized homophobia, e.g. religious homophobia and state-sponsored homophobia, and internalized homophobia, experienced by people who have same-sex attractions, regardless of how they identify. Forms of homophobia toward identifiable LGBT social groups have similar yet specific names: lesbophobia – the intersection of homophobia and sexism directed against lesbians, biphobia – towards bisexuality and bisexual people, and transphobia, which targets transsexualism, transsexual and transgender people, and gender variance or gender role nonconformity.
Two words originate from homophobia: homophobic (adj.) and homophobe (n.), the latter word describing a person who displays homophobia or is thought to do so.
Homophobia manifests in different forms, and a number of different types have been postulated, among which are internalized homophobia, social homophobia, emotional homophobia, rationalized homophobia, and others. There were also ideas to classify homophobia, racism, and sexism as an intolerant personality disorder.
Homophobia has never been listed as part of a clinical taxonomy of phobias, neither in Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) or International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems (ICD); homophobia is usually used in a non-clinical sense. In 1992, the American Psychiatric Association, recognizing the power of the stigma against homosexuality, issued the following statement, reaffirmed by the Board of Trustees, July 2011: “Whereas homosexuality per se implies no impairment in judgment, stability, reliability, or general social or vocational capabilities, the American Psychiatric Association (APA) calls on all international health organizations, psychiatric organizations, and individual psychiatrists in other countries to urge the repeal in their own countries of legislation that penalizes homosexual acts by consenting adults in private. Further, APA calls on these organizations and individuals to do all that is possible to decrease the stigma related to homosexuality wherever and whenever it may occur.”
Many world religions contain anti-homosexual teachings, while other religions have varying degrees of ambivalence, neutrality, or incorporate teachings regarding homosexuals as third gender. Even within some religions which generally discourage homosexuality, there are also people who view homosexuality positively, and some religious denominations may go so far as to bless same-sex marriages. There also exist so-called Queer religions, dedicated to serving the spiritual needs of LGBTQI persons. Queer theology seeks to provide a counter-point to religious homophobia.
The Bible, especially the Old Testament, contains some passages commonly interpreted as condemning homosexuality.. Leviticus 18:22, says "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination." The destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah is also commonly seen as a condemnation of homosexuality. Christians and Jews who oppose homosexuality often cite such passages; historical context and interpretation is more complicated. Scholarly debate over the interpretation of these passages has focused on placing them in proper historical context, for instance pointing out that Sodom's sins are historically interpreted as being other than homosexuality, and on the translation of rare or unusual words in the passages in question. In Religion Dispatches magazine, Candace Chellew-Hodge notes that the six or so verses that are often cited to condemn LGBT people are referring instead to "abusive sex." She states that the Bible has no condemnation for "loving, committed, gay and lesbian relationships" and that Jesus was silent on the subject.
In some cases, the distinction between religious homophobia and state-sponsored homophobia is not clear, a key example being territories under Islamic authority. All major Islamic sects forbid homosexuality, which is a crime under Sharia Law and treated as such in most Muslim countries. In Afghanistan, for instance, homosexuality carried the death penalty under the Taliban. After their fall, homosexuality went from a capital crime to one punished with fines and prison sentences. The legal situation in the United Arab Emirates, however, is unclear.
In 2009, the International Lesbian and Gay Association (ILGA) published a report entitled State Sponsored Homophobia 2009, which is based on research carried out by Daniel Ottosson at Södertörn University College, Stockholm, Sweden. This research found that of the 80 countries around the world that continue to consider homosexuality illegal:
Five carry the death penalty for homosexual activity: Iran, Mauritania, Saudi Arabia, Sudan, Yemen. Since the 1979 Islamic revolution in Iran, the Iranian government has executed more than 4,000 people charged with homosexual acts. In Saudi Arabia, the maximum punishment for homosexuality is public execution, but the government will use other punishments – e.g., fines, jail time, whipping – and even forced sex change as alternatives, unless it feels that people engaging in homosexual activity are challenging state authority by engaging in LGBT social movements.
Two do in some regions: Nigeria, Somalia In 2001, Al-Muhajiroun, an international organization seeking the establishment of a global Islamic caliphate, issued a fatwa declaring that all members of The Al-Fatiha Foundation (which advances the cause of gay, lesbian, and transgender Muslims) were murtadd, or apostates, and condemning them to death. Because of the threat and because they come from conservative societies, many members of the foundation's site still prefer to be anonymous so as to protect their identity while continuing a tradition of secrecy.
The official teaching of the Catholic Church regarding homosexuality, with which, however, many Catholics disagree, is that same-sex behavior should not be expressed. The Catechism of the Catholic Church States that, "'homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered.'...They are contrary to the natural law.... Under no circumstances can they be approved." The Catholic Church also campaigns politically against LGBT rights.
Internalized homophobia refers to negative stereotypes, beliefs, stigma, and prejudice about homosexuality and LGBT people that a person with same-sex attraction turns inward on themselves, whether or not they identify as LGBT. The degree to which someone is affected by these ideas depends on how much and which ideas they have consciously and subconsciously internalized. These negative beliefs can be mitigated with education, life experience and therapy, especially with gay-friendly psychotherapy/analysis. Internalized homophobia also applies to conscious or unconscious behaviors which a person feels the need to promote or conform to cultural expectations of heteronormativity or heterosexism. This can include extreme repression and denial coupled with forced outward displays of heteronormative behavior for the purpose of appearing or attempting to feel "normal" or "accepted." Expressions of internalized homophobia can also be subtle. Some less overt behaviors may include making assumptions about the gender of a person's romantic partner, or about gender roles. Some researchers also apply this label to LGBT people who support "compromise" policies, such as those that find civil unions acceptable in place of same-sex marriage.
Some studies have shown that people who are homophobic are more likely to have repressed homosexual desires. In 1996, a controlled study of 64 heterosexual men (half said they were homophobic by experience, with self-reported orientation) at the University of Georgia found that men who were found to be homophobic (as measured by the Index of Homophobia) were considerably more likely to experience more erectile responses when exposed to homoerotic images than non-homophobic men. Another study in 2012 arrived at similar results when researchers found that students who came from "the most rigid anti-gay homes" were most likely to reveal repressed homosexual attraction. The researchers noted that this explained why some religious leaders who denounce homosexuality are later revealed to have secret homosexual relations. The researchers noted that "these people are at war with themselves and are turning this internal conflict outward." Researcher Iain R. Williamson, in his 1998 work "Internalized Homophobia and Health Issues Affecting Lesbians and Gay Men" finds the term homophobia to be "highly problematic" but for reasons of continuity and consistency with the majority of other publications on the issue retains its use rather than using more accurate but obscure terminology. The phrase internalized sexual stigma is sometimes used in place to represent internalized homophobia. An internalized stigma arises when a person believes negative stereotypes about themselves, regardless of where the stereotype come from. It can also refer to many stereotypes beyond sexuality and gender roles. Internalized homophobia can cause discomfort with and disapproval of one's own sexual orientation. Ego-dystonic sexual orientation or egodystonic homophobia, for instance, is a condition characterized by having a sexual orientation or an attraction that is at odds with one's idealized self-image, causing anxiety and a desire to change one's orientation or become more comfortable with one's sexual orientation. Such a situation may cause extreme repression of homosexual desires. In other cases, a conscious internal struggle may occur for some time, often pitting deeply held religious or social beliefs against strong sexual and emotional desires. This discordance can cause clinical depression, and a higher rate of suicide among LGBT youth (up to 30 percent of non-heterosexual youth attempt suicide) has been attributed to this phenomenon. Psychotherapy, such as gay affirmative psychotherapy, and participation in a sexual-minority affirming group can help resolve the internal conflicts, such as between religious beliefs and sexual identity. Even informal therapies that address understanding and accepting of non-heterosexual orientations can prove effective. Many diagnostic "Internalized Homophobia Scales" can be used to measure a person's discomfort with their sexuality and some can be used by people regardless of gender or sexual orientation. Critics of the scales note that they presume a discomfort with non-heterosexuality which in itself enforces heternormativity.
The fear of being identified as gay can be considered as a form of social homophobia. Theorists including Calvin Thomas and Judith Butler have suggested that homophobia can be rooted in an individual's fear of being identified as gay. Homophobia in men is correlated with insecurity about masculinity. For this reason, homophobia is allegedly rampant in sports, and in the subculture of its supporters that is considered stereotypically "male", such as association football and rugby.
These theorists have argued that a person who expresses homophobic thoughts and feelings does so not only to communicate their beliefs about the class of gay people, but also to distance themselves from this class and its social status. Thus, by distancing themselves from gay people, they are reaffirming their role as a heterosexual in a heteronormative culture, thereby attempting to prevent themselves from being labeled and treated as a gay person. This interpretation alludes to the idea that a person may posit violent opposition to "the Other" as a means of establishing their own identity as part of the majority and thus gaining social validation.
Nancy J. Chodorow states that homophobia can be viewed as a method of protection of male masculinity. Various psychoanalytic theories explain homophobia as a threat to an individual's own same-sex impulses, whether those impulses are imminent or merely hypothetical. This threat causes repression, denial or reaction formation.
Some gender theorists interpret the fact that male-to-male relationships often incite a stronger reaction in homophobic people than female-to-female (lesbian) as meaning that people who are homophobic feel more threatened by the perceived subversion of the male-superior gender paradigm. Many even go as far as to tolerate or embrace female homo- or bi-sexuals, while still feeling threatened by or disliking or disapproving of gay men. According to such theorists as D. A. Miller, male heterosexuality is defined not only by the desire for women but also (and more importantly) by the denial of desire for men. Therefore, expressions of homophobia serve as a means of accenting their male nature by distancing themselves from the threatening concept of their own potential femininity, and consequently belittling gay men, as not being real males. According to this theory, the reason male homosexuality is treated worse compared to female homosexuality is sexist in its underlying belief that men are superior to women and therefore for a man to "replace" a woman during intercourse with another man necessarily degrades his own masculine status.
Miller's view implies that only the receptive or submissive role in a homosexual act is regarded as emasculating, as is the case in many cultures. His specific position that male heterosexuality does not require a "desire for women" seems to preclude the possibility of asexuality or bisexuality.
Other theories of the difference in homophobic reactions to male-male rather than female-female homosexual relationships simply have to do with a common sexual desire. A heterosexual man desires women. For a woman to desire women is thus more understandable than for a man to desire men, as a heterosexual man and homosexual woman share the same desire for women, but a heterosexual man cannot understand or identify with the attraction of one man to another man. Similarly, homosexual men desire men, and thus for a man to desire men is understandable to a woman who has the same desires.
Disapproval of homosexuality and of gay people is not evenly distributed throughout society, but is more or less pronounced according to age, ethnicity, geographic location, race, sex, social class, education, partisan identification and religious status. According to UK HIV/AIDS charity AVERT, religious views, lack of homosexual feelings or experiences, and lack of interaction with gay people are strongly associated with such views.
The anxiety of heterosexual individuals (particularly adolescents whose construction of heterosexual masculinity is based in part on not being seen as gay) that others may identify them as gay has also been identified by Michael Kimmel as an example of homophobia. The taunting of boys seen as eccentric (and who are not usually gay) is said to be endemic in rural and suburban American schools, and has been associated with risk-taking behavior and outbursts of violence (such as a spate of school shootings) by boys seeking revenge or trying to assert their masculinity. Homophobic bullying is also very common in schools in the United Kingdom.
In some cases, the works of authors who merely have the word "Gay" in their name (Gay Talese, Peter Gay) or works about things also contain the name (Enola Gay) have been destroyed because of a perceived pro-homosexual bias.
In the United States, attitudes about people who are homosexual may vary on the basis of partisan identification. Republicans are far more likely than Democrats to have negative attitudes about people who are gay and lesbian, according to surveys conducted by the National Election Studies from 2000 through 2004. This disparity is shown in the graph on the right, which is from a book published in 2008 by Joseph Fried. The tendency of Republicans to view gay and lesbian people negatively could be based on homophobia, religious beliefs, or conservatism with respect to the traditional family.
Homophobia also varies by region; statistics show that the Southern United States has more reports of anti-gay prejudice than any other region in the US.
One study of white adolescent males conducted at the University of Cincinnati by Janet Baker has been used to argue that negative feelings towards gay people are also associated with other discriminatory behaviors. According to the study, hatred of gay people, anti-Semitism, and racism are "likely companions." Baker hypothesized "maybe it's a matter of power and looking down on all you think are at the bottom." A study performed in 2007 in the UK for the charity Stonewall reports that up to 90 percent of the population support anti-discrimination laws protecting gay and lesbian people.
Social constructs and culture can perpetuate homophobic attitudes. Such cultural sources in the black community include:
Music and music videos
Churches
Sources of homophobia in the white community include:
The Arts Films and literature that project negative gay stereotypes.
Churches
Professional sports in many countries involves homophobic expressions by star athletes and by fans. Incidents in the United States have included:
Hockey The homophobic chants and attitudes of certain fans, for example the labeling of one fan who frequently dances at games as "Homo Larry", have been protested by attendees of New York Rangers games and by New York City Council Speaker Christine Quinn.
Basketball All-Star National Basketball Association player Tim Hardaway drew criticism after he said on the "790 the Ticket" radio show, "Well, you know, I hate gay people. I let it be known I don’t like gay people. I don’t like to be around gay people. I’m homophobic. I don’t like it, it shouldn’t be in the world, in the United States, I don’t like it.” However, the major professional sports leagues do not advocate homophobia, and regard the LGBT community as an important marketing base.
Homophobia is observable in critical and hostile behavior such as discrimination and violence on the basis of sexual orientations that are non-heterosexual. According to the 2010 Hate Crimes Statistics released by the FBI National Press Office, 19.3 percent of hate crimes across the United States "were motivated by a sexual orientation bias." Moreover, in a Southern Poverty Law Center 2010 Intelligence Report extrapolating data from fourteen years (1995–2008), which had complete data available at the time, of the FBI's national hate crime statistics found that LGBT people were "far more likely than any other minority group in the United States to be victimized by violent hate crime."
Recognized types of homophobia include institutionalized homophobia, e.g. religious homophobia and state-sponsored homophobia, and internalized homophobia, experienced by people who have same-sex attractions, regardless of how they identify. Forms of homophobia toward identifiable LGBT social groups have similar yet specific names: lesbophobia – the intersection of homophobia and sexism directed against lesbians, biphobia – towards bisexuality and bisexual people, and transphobia, which targets transsexualism, transsexual and transgender people, and gender variance or gender role nonconformity.
Two words originate from homophobia: homophobic (adj.) and homophobe (n.), the latter word describing a person who displays homophobia or is thought to do so.
Homophobia manifests in different forms, and a number of different types have been postulated, among which are internalized homophobia, social homophobia, emotional homophobia, rationalized homophobia, and others. There were also ideas to classify homophobia, racism, and sexism as an intolerant personality disorder.
Homophobia has never been listed as part of a clinical taxonomy of phobias, neither in Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) or International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems (ICD); homophobia is usually used in a non-clinical sense. In 1992, the American Psychiatric Association, recognizing the power of the stigma against homosexuality, issued the following statement, reaffirmed by the Board of Trustees, July 2011: “Whereas homosexuality per se implies no impairment in judgment, stability, reliability, or general social or vocational capabilities, the American Psychiatric Association (APA) calls on all international health organizations, psychiatric organizations, and individual psychiatrists in other countries to urge the repeal in their own countries of legislation that penalizes homosexual acts by consenting adults in private. Further, APA calls on these organizations and individuals to do all that is possible to decrease the stigma related to homosexuality wherever and whenever it may occur.”
Many world religions contain anti-homosexual teachings, while other religions have varying degrees of ambivalence, neutrality, or incorporate teachings regarding homosexuals as third gender. Even within some religions which generally discourage homosexuality, there are also people who view homosexuality positively, and some religious denominations may go so far as to bless same-sex marriages. There also exist so-called Queer religions, dedicated to serving the spiritual needs of LGBTQI persons. Queer theology seeks to provide a counter-point to religious homophobia.
The Bible, especially the Old Testament, contains some passages commonly interpreted as condemning homosexuality.. Leviticus 18:22, says "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination." The destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah is also commonly seen as a condemnation of homosexuality. Christians and Jews who oppose homosexuality often cite such passages; historical context and interpretation is more complicated. Scholarly debate over the interpretation of these passages has focused on placing them in proper historical context, for instance pointing out that Sodom's sins are historically interpreted as being other than homosexuality, and on the translation of rare or unusual words in the passages in question. In Religion Dispatches magazine, Candace Chellew-Hodge notes that the six or so verses that are often cited to condemn LGBT people are referring instead to "abusive sex." She states that the Bible has no condemnation for "loving, committed, gay and lesbian relationships" and that Jesus was silent on the subject.
In some cases, the distinction between religious homophobia and state-sponsored homophobia is not clear, a key example being territories under Islamic authority. All major Islamic sects forbid homosexuality, which is a crime under Sharia Law and treated as such in most Muslim countries. In Afghanistan, for instance, homosexuality carried the death penalty under the Taliban. After their fall, homosexuality went from a capital crime to one punished with fines and prison sentences. The legal situation in the United Arab Emirates, however, is unclear.
In 2009, the International Lesbian and Gay Association (ILGA) published a report entitled State Sponsored Homophobia 2009, which is based on research carried out by Daniel Ottosson at Södertörn University College, Stockholm, Sweden. This research found that of the 80 countries around the world that continue to consider homosexuality illegal:
Five carry the death penalty for homosexual activity: Iran, Mauritania, Saudi Arabia, Sudan, Yemen. Since the 1979 Islamic revolution in Iran, the Iranian government has executed more than 4,000 people charged with homosexual acts. In Saudi Arabia, the maximum punishment for homosexuality is public execution, but the government will use other punishments – e.g., fines, jail time, whipping – and even forced sex change as alternatives, unless it feels that people engaging in homosexual activity are challenging state authority by engaging in LGBT social movements.
Two do in some regions: Nigeria, Somalia In 2001, Al-Muhajiroun, an international organization seeking the establishment of a global Islamic caliphate, issued a fatwa declaring that all members of The Al-Fatiha Foundation (which advances the cause of gay, lesbian, and transgender Muslims) were murtadd, or apostates, and condemning them to death. Because of the threat and because they come from conservative societies, many members of the foundation's site still prefer to be anonymous so as to protect their identity while continuing a tradition of secrecy.
The official teaching of the Catholic Church regarding homosexuality, with which, however, many Catholics disagree, is that same-sex behavior should not be expressed. The Catechism of the Catholic Church States that, "'homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered.'...They are contrary to the natural law.... Under no circumstances can they be approved." The Catholic Church also campaigns politically against LGBT rights.
Internalized homophobia refers to negative stereotypes, beliefs, stigma, and prejudice about homosexuality and LGBT people that a person with same-sex attraction turns inward on themselves, whether or not they identify as LGBT. The degree to which someone is affected by these ideas depends on how much and which ideas they have consciously and subconsciously internalized. These negative beliefs can be mitigated with education, life experience and therapy, especially with gay-friendly psychotherapy/analysis. Internalized homophobia also applies to conscious or unconscious behaviors which a person feels the need to promote or conform to cultural expectations of heteronormativity or heterosexism. This can include extreme repression and denial coupled with forced outward displays of heteronormative behavior for the purpose of appearing or attempting to feel "normal" or "accepted." Expressions of internalized homophobia can also be subtle. Some less overt behaviors may include making assumptions about the gender of a person's romantic partner, or about gender roles. Some researchers also apply this label to LGBT people who support "compromise" policies, such as those that find civil unions acceptable in place of same-sex marriage.
Some studies have shown that people who are homophobic are more likely to have repressed homosexual desires. In 1996, a controlled study of 64 heterosexual men (half said they were homophobic by experience, with self-reported orientation) at the University of Georgia found that men who were found to be homophobic (as measured by the Index of Homophobia) were considerably more likely to experience more erectile responses when exposed to homoerotic images than non-homophobic men. Another study in 2012 arrived at similar results when researchers found that students who came from "the most rigid anti-gay homes" were most likely to reveal repressed homosexual attraction. The researchers noted that this explained why some religious leaders who denounce homosexuality are later revealed to have secret homosexual relations. The researchers noted that "these people are at war with themselves and are turning this internal conflict outward." Researcher Iain R. Williamson, in his 1998 work "Internalized Homophobia and Health Issues Affecting Lesbians and Gay Men" finds the term homophobia to be "highly problematic" but for reasons of continuity and consistency with the majority of other publications on the issue retains its use rather than using more accurate but obscure terminology. The phrase internalized sexual stigma is sometimes used in place to represent internalized homophobia. An internalized stigma arises when a person believes negative stereotypes about themselves, regardless of where the stereotype come from. It can also refer to many stereotypes beyond sexuality and gender roles. Internalized homophobia can cause discomfort with and disapproval of one's own sexual orientation. Ego-dystonic sexual orientation or egodystonic homophobia, for instance, is a condition characterized by having a sexual orientation or an attraction that is at odds with one's idealized self-image, causing anxiety and a desire to change one's orientation or become more comfortable with one's sexual orientation. Such a situation may cause extreme repression of homosexual desires. In other cases, a conscious internal struggle may occur for some time, often pitting deeply held religious or social beliefs against strong sexual and emotional desires. This discordance can cause clinical depression, and a higher rate of suicide among LGBT youth (up to 30 percent of non-heterosexual youth attempt suicide) has been attributed to this phenomenon. Psychotherapy, such as gay affirmative psychotherapy, and participation in a sexual-minority affirming group can help resolve the internal conflicts, such as between religious beliefs and sexual identity. Even informal therapies that address understanding and accepting of non-heterosexual orientations can prove effective. Many diagnostic "Internalized Homophobia Scales" can be used to measure a person's discomfort with their sexuality and some can be used by people regardless of gender or sexual orientation. Critics of the scales note that they presume a discomfort with non-heterosexuality which in itself enforces heternormativity.
The fear of being identified as gay can be considered as a form of social homophobia. Theorists including Calvin Thomas and Judith Butler have suggested that homophobia can be rooted in an individual's fear of being identified as gay. Homophobia in men is correlated with insecurity about masculinity. For this reason, homophobia is allegedly rampant in sports, and in the subculture of its supporters that is considered stereotypically "male", such as association football and rugby.
These theorists have argued that a person who expresses homophobic thoughts and feelings does so not only to communicate their beliefs about the class of gay people, but also to distance themselves from this class and its social status. Thus, by distancing themselves from gay people, they are reaffirming their role as a heterosexual in a heteronormative culture, thereby attempting to prevent themselves from being labeled and treated as a gay person. This interpretation alludes to the idea that a person may posit violent opposition to "the Other" as a means of establishing their own identity as part of the majority and thus gaining social validation.
Nancy J. Chodorow states that homophobia can be viewed as a method of protection of male masculinity. Various psychoanalytic theories explain homophobia as a threat to an individual's own same-sex impulses, whether those impulses are imminent or merely hypothetical. This threat causes repression, denial or reaction formation.
Some gender theorists interpret the fact that male-to-male relationships often incite a stronger reaction in homophobic people than female-to-female (lesbian) as meaning that people who are homophobic feel more threatened by the perceived subversion of the male-superior gender paradigm. Many even go as far as to tolerate or embrace female homo- or bi-sexuals, while still feeling threatened by or disliking or disapproving of gay men. According to such theorists as D. A. Miller, male heterosexuality is defined not only by the desire for women but also (and more importantly) by the denial of desire for men. Therefore, expressions of homophobia serve as a means of accenting their male nature by distancing themselves from the threatening concept of their own potential femininity, and consequently belittling gay men, as not being real males. According to this theory, the reason male homosexuality is treated worse compared to female homosexuality is sexist in its underlying belief that men are superior to women and therefore for a man to "replace" a woman during intercourse with another man necessarily degrades his own masculine status.
Miller's view implies that only the receptive or submissive role in a homosexual act is regarded as emasculating, as is the case in many cultures. His specific position that male heterosexuality does not require a "desire for women" seems to preclude the possibility of asexuality or bisexuality.
Other theories of the difference in homophobic reactions to male-male rather than female-female homosexual relationships simply have to do with a common sexual desire. A heterosexual man desires women. For a woman to desire women is thus more understandable than for a man to desire men, as a heterosexual man and homosexual woman share the same desire for women, but a heterosexual man cannot understand or identify with the attraction of one man to another man. Similarly, homosexual men desire men, and thus for a man to desire men is understandable to a woman who has the same desires.
Disapproval of homosexuality and of gay people is not evenly distributed throughout society, but is more or less pronounced according to age, ethnicity, geographic location, race, sex, social class, education, partisan identification and religious status. According to UK HIV/AIDS charity AVERT, religious views, lack of homosexual feelings or experiences, and lack of interaction with gay people are strongly associated with such views.
The anxiety of heterosexual individuals (particularly adolescents whose construction of heterosexual masculinity is based in part on not being seen as gay) that others may identify them as gay has also been identified by Michael Kimmel as an example of homophobia. The taunting of boys seen as eccentric (and who are not usually gay) is said to be endemic in rural and suburban American schools, and has been associated with risk-taking behavior and outbursts of violence (such as a spate of school shootings) by boys seeking revenge or trying to assert their masculinity. Homophobic bullying is also very common in schools in the United Kingdom.
In some cases, the works of authors who merely have the word "Gay" in their name (Gay Talese, Peter Gay) or works about things also contain the name (Enola Gay) have been destroyed because of a perceived pro-homosexual bias.
In the United States, attitudes about people who are homosexual may vary on the basis of partisan identification. Republicans are far more likely than Democrats to have negative attitudes about people who are gay and lesbian, according to surveys conducted by the National Election Studies from 2000 through 2004. This disparity is shown in the graph on the right, which is from a book published in 2008 by Joseph Fried. The tendency of Republicans to view gay and lesbian people negatively could be based on homophobia, religious beliefs, or conservatism with respect to the traditional family.
Homophobia also varies by region; statistics show that the Southern United States has more reports of anti-gay prejudice than any other region in the US.
One study of white adolescent males conducted at the University of Cincinnati by Janet Baker has been used to argue that negative feelings towards gay people are also associated with other discriminatory behaviors. According to the study, hatred of gay people, anti-Semitism, and racism are "likely companions." Baker hypothesized "maybe it's a matter of power and looking down on all you think are at the bottom." A study performed in 2007 in the UK for the charity Stonewall reports that up to 90 percent of the population support anti-discrimination laws protecting gay and lesbian people.
Social constructs and culture can perpetuate homophobic attitudes. Such cultural sources in the black community include:
Music and music videos
Churches
Sources of homophobia in the white community include:
The Arts Films and literature that project negative gay stereotypes.
Churches
Professional sports in many countries involves homophobic expressions by star athletes and by fans. Incidents in the United States have included:
Hockey The homophobic chants and attitudes of certain fans, for example the labeling of one fan who frequently dances at games as "Homo Larry", have been protested by attendees of New York Rangers games and by New York City Council Speaker Christine Quinn.
Basketball All-Star National Basketball Association player Tim Hardaway drew criticism after he said on the "790 the Ticket" radio show, "Well, you know, I hate gay people. I let it be known I don’t like gay people. I don’t like to be around gay people. I’m homophobic. I don’t like it, it shouldn’t be in the world, in the United States, I don’t like it.” However, the major professional sports leagues do not advocate homophobia, and regard the LGBT community as an important marketing base.
Ignorant People
Ignorance is a state of being uninformed (lack of knowledge). The word ignorant is an adjective describing a person in the state of being unaware and is often used as an insult to describe individuals who deliberately ignore or disregard important information or facts. Ignoramus is commonly used in the US, the UK, and Ireland as a term for someone who is willfully ignorant.
Ignorance is distinguished from stupidity, although both can lead to "unwise" acts.
Writer Thomas Pynchon articulated about the scope and structure of one's ignorance: "Ignorance is not just a blank space on a person's mental map. It has contours and coherence, and for all I know rules of operation as well. So as a corollary to [the advice of] writing about what we know, maybe we should add getting familiar with our ignorance, and the possibilities therein for writing a good story."
The legal principle that ignorantia juris non excusat, literally "ignorance of the law is no excuse", stands for the proposition that the law applies also to those who are unaware of it.
Matters which are obvious are sometimes ignored, not taken into consideration. This phenomenon is not limited to ordinary persons without native ability but extends to the highest level of human governance resulting in nightmarish scenarios that could, with more wisdom, have been avoided.
Individuals with superficial knowledge of a topic or subject may be worse off than people who know absolutely nothing. As Charles Darwin observed, "ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge."
Ignorance can stifle learning, in that a person who falsely believes he or she is knowledgeable will not seek out clarification of his or her beliefs, but rather rely on his or her ignorant position. He or she may also reject valid but contrary information, neither realizing its importance nor understanding it. This concept is elucidated in Justin Kruger's and David Dunning's work, "Unskilled and Unaware of It: How Difficulties in Recognizing One's Own Incompetence Lead to Inflated Self-Assessments," otherwise known as the Dunning–Kruger effect.
Ignorance is distinguished from stupidity, although both can lead to "unwise" acts.
Writer Thomas Pynchon articulated about the scope and structure of one's ignorance: "Ignorance is not just a blank space on a person's mental map. It has contours and coherence, and for all I know rules of operation as well. So as a corollary to [the advice of] writing about what we know, maybe we should add getting familiar with our ignorance, and the possibilities therein for writing a good story."
The legal principle that ignorantia juris non excusat, literally "ignorance of the law is no excuse", stands for the proposition that the law applies also to those who are unaware of it.
Matters which are obvious are sometimes ignored, not taken into consideration. This phenomenon is not limited to ordinary persons without native ability but extends to the highest level of human governance resulting in nightmarish scenarios that could, with more wisdom, have been avoided.
Individuals with superficial knowledge of a topic or subject may be worse off than people who know absolutely nothing. As Charles Darwin observed, "ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge."
Ignorance can stifle learning, in that a person who falsely believes he or she is knowledgeable will not seek out clarification of his or her beliefs, but rather rely on his or her ignorant position. He or she may also reject valid but contrary information, neither realizing its importance nor understanding it. This concept is elucidated in Justin Kruger's and David Dunning's work, "Unskilled and Unaware of It: How Difficulties in Recognizing One's Own Incompetence Lead to Inflated Self-Assessments," otherwise known as the Dunning–Kruger effect.
ig·no·rant/ˈignərənt/
Adjective:
Lacking knowledge or awareness in general; uneducated or unsophisticated.
Lacking knowledge, information, or awareness about something in particular: "ignorant of astronomy".
Synonyms:
illiterate - nescient - unlettered - unlearned
Living As A Gay
In simple terms, being gay means that you are sexually attracted to members of your own sex and that you identify with other gay people or the larger gay community. Sexuality is a term used to describe a whole range of feelings, desires and actions relating to sex.
Why am I gay?
Nobody knows for sure why some of us are gay and some of us are not. Lots of theories have been put forward ranging from genetic differences to overbearing parents. The evidence so far suggests that random genetic factors play a part in determining our sexuality in the same way they play a part in determining, for example, lefthandedness.
One thing we do know is that no-one chooses their sexuality. Some gay people knew they were different, if not gay, from as young as five or six. It is said that, for most of us, our sexuality is determined by the age of 12 or 13 and probably 16 at the latest. By and large, society tends to assume that everyone is, or wants to be, heterosexual. This is known as heterosexism. Some people continue to believe that it is a choice and that we can be persuaded into heterosexuality. By assuming heterosexuality, society gives rise to the dilemma, for those of us who know we are gay, of whether to hide our sexuality or to come out - with all that this entails.
There have been small but perceptible changes in the way British society views homosexuality, but there is a long way to go before it will accept us in the same way as it does people who are, say, lefthanded. This has more to do with society's hang-ups around sex and sexuality than individual gay people. Often, once people know someone who is gay, their prejudices and fears about homosexuality disappear all together.
Growing up gay
For many young gay or bisexual people, adolescence can be a time of particular anxiety and fear. Many lesbians and gay men look back on this part of their lives with sadness and regret. There are very few positive gay role models and a lot of hostility towards openly gay people. Gay teenagers often become painfully aware that they are not like other people and many become withdrawn and lonely, convinced that only they are feeling this way. They learn to hide their true feelings or act as others want them to, for fear of being ostracised, ridiculed or rejected by loved ones and friends.
Above all, there can be a sense that we are somehow different, that we are abnormal and that we are going to disappoint people.
Some people believe that if they get married their gay feelings will disappear. It is unusual for this to happen. Most store up a great deal of stress and anxiety for their later years. Coming out as a gay parent has particular challenges. Breaking out of a clearly defined role, or even attempting to shift the definition of it, involves tremendous courage and strength. The conflict between their relationship with their spouse and family and their need to be themselves can be enormous.
Coming out
There are several stages in the process of coming out. It's your life so take your time - do things for you and only when you are ready.
Coming out to yourself
Acknowledging that you are gay can take many years. Some of us probably hoped these feelings were "just a phase". In time, we realise that these feelings are not just a phase and we have to find a way of accepting them and dealing with the fact that we are sexually attracted to members of our own sex.
This realisation is the first stage of coming out. There is no hard and fast rule when this point is reached. For some it happens in their teens, for others it may happen much later in life.
Some people describe this time of accepting their sexuality as though they were riding an emotional rollercoaster. One day they felt happy and confident and ready to tell everyone; the next they felt confused, scared and relieved that they hadn't. You may want to talk to someone who understands what this is like.
So you still want to come out?
This is a nerve racking time - the fear of rejection is likely to be immense. Bear in mind that there are many ways to tell someone that you are gay.
It may be helpful to ask yourself some of the questions that come up later in this guide, as it is more than likely that others will ask you them at some point. Don't rehearse your answers but think of your reasons - it will make you and your discussions stronger and more assured.
The next stage involves going public in some way, of "coming out of the closet". Who you tell next is really up to you. You may decide to tell your best friend or a member of your family.
Remember, once you have told someone about your sexuality it can become known to others within a short period. This is human nature and there is very little you can do to prevent this. If you are resolved to deal with any negativity that this disclosure may bring, you will be sufficiently prepared for it.
Why do I want to come out?
This is the most important question to ask yourself. If you answer something like: "Because I'm proud of who I am" or "It is impossible to become a fully happy human being if my sexuality remains suppressed" or "I want to meet other gay people" then these are good reasons. Think very carefully if your reasoning is to hurt or shock people. Often the person who gets hurt will be you.
Who should I tell?
Many gay people describe how important it is to first tell someone outside the family. Make sure it's someone you trust and who you believe to be open minded and supportive. Be careful if you decide to confide in a teacher at school - they may be obliged to tell someone else what you have told them. Find out the school policy on confidentiality before you go ahead.
If you have decided to tell your family it may be easier to talk to one parent before the other. You could then ask them for help to approach the other. Sometimes brothers and sisters are a good starting point as they are likely to understand more about homosexuality or bisexuality. Make sure you understand why you are going to tell them. One of the best reasons to come out to your family is to become closer to them.
There are a number of typical responses that parents, particularly, are known to say: "How can you be sure?", "I went through a phase like this at your age", "You'll grow out of it", "You haven't tried hard enough with the opposite sex" and "How can you know at your age?"
We have listed them here because they may help you to think of your answers to them. You might find it helpful to discuss these questions first with a trusted friend or a lesbian and gay helpline or switchboard.
Support for your family
This can be a traumatic time for some members of your family. You may feel unable to answer all their questions or to deal with all of the issues that come up for them. They, in turn, may not feel comfortable talking about homosexuality or bisexuality with you. There are several organisations that offer support to parents who are coming to terms with their sons' and daughters' sexuality. FFLAG (Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) produce booklets specially written for parents.
This can be a difficult time if your happiness is dependent to some degree on your family's reaction. If this is the case for you, we would advise that you talk it over with someone who has been through it already - perhaps your local gay switchboard or helpline.
How should I tell them?
There is no rule that says you have to sit down and talk to others about this, there are other ways.
You might like to write to them first and give them time to react in their own way. This is probably a better approach if, for example, you live a long way from your family or friends. Remember that you have probably taken a long time to get used to the idea yourself and others might need the same amount of time. Writing a letter allows you to take your time and to compose your thoughts carefully and clearly. It can also give the person you are writing to space to react and consider the news before discussing it with you. This could be a useful approach if you are expecting a very hostile or negative reaction.
If you decide to talk face to face, remember not to rush it or to do it when one of you is in a hurry or distracted. It probably won't help to memorise a script either - you can guarantee that some people do not respond in a predictable manner. If you are worried about their reaction, tell them of your fears and that you don't want to hurt them but need to be honest with them. Remember to listen to what they have to say - it should be along the lines of a chat, not a speech!
When should I tell them?
When it comes to coming out, timing is an important consideration. Choose the moment carefully - do it when you (and they) have lots of time - not last thing at night when you are likely to be more tired and emotional.
Think about the way you are feeling, allowing for nerves, which are perfectly natural under the circumstances, don't do it if you are feeling angry or emotionally sensitive - this will affect what you say and how you say it. For obvious reasons don't do it when you are drunk (even if you think you need a drink to steady your nerves).
And remember - only when you are good and ready. A friend once said that he knew he was ready to tell his family only when he realised that, if he had to, he could live without their support. Fortunately for him (and his family) this didn't happen.
Consequences and reactions
So you've told someone. You are either balancing on the edge of an erupting volcano or dancing with joy on the moon (or both!). Some people describe a huge weight being lifted from their shoulders, of feeling euphoric and giggly and childlike again.
Don't feel guilty about it - go on and enjoy yourself, you deserve it. The thrill of revealing something long kept hidden can give a tremendous sense of relief.
Use this new found energy wisely and remember that close friends and family may be worried that you have changed out of all recognition. Reassure them that you have changed - and for the better and that you are simply exploring a new, more complete you.
Most people will experience many positive reactions. For example, "We're so pleased you could tell us" or "Well we had already guessed and were just waiting for you to say something". Some gay people have also met with the response, "So am I".
"My parents refused to talk about it. They dismissed it and said they didn't want the subject brought up again. I decided that I was going to continue to live my life as a gay man. I stopped going home as often as I used to and attending family occasions. It is only now, three years later, that they have begun to broach the subject with me."
If it hasn't gone too well - don't lose heart. Time is a great healer and things will get better. If you are experiencing rejection from some close friends, ask yourself if they were really so close that they couldn't support you through this. If your family is reacting badly, this is in all probability, normal. They may be experiencing a whole range of emotions including shock, grief, guilt, blame, disappointment and lots of pain.
"My family say that they accept that I am gay but they don't want to see me being affectionate with another man. They say that they won't be able to cope with it."
Remember how long it took for you to come to terms with being gay. Many parents will feel a loss in some way - perhaps of future grandchildren or weddings and other family gatherings. This can blur their happiness and their love for you.
"I was at a wedding recently and everyone was there with their partners. I was upset that I couldn't bring mine. Everyone asked the usual embarrassing questions about girlfriends and I just had to smile and make excuses. I didn't want to row with my family about it but it's just not fair."
At the end of the day, your parents are still your parents and, in time, few reject their children because they are gay.
"My dad said, "You're still my son and I'm proud of you." He'd been very homophobic up to then."
If they go quiet on you, give them time to react and the opportunity to think about what you have told them. If they ask lots of questions, it's a good sign. It may help to think of it as though it is in your interests to respond to them - they are likely to be the same ones that you have asked yourself many times along the way.
If things are so bad that you feel like giving up with the whole process of coming out, it's important to talk to someone about your fears and concerns. Again your local switchboard, helpline or Gay Men's Health Project can offer you support and guidance.
It's probably better to persevere and keep going, after all, you have come this far and in many ways it would be difficult or impossible to go back now. The next person you talk to will probably give you a huge hug and say that they were relieved that you had found the courage to tell them and that they had suspected that something may have been on your mind for a long time.
Coming out at work
Gay people have received legal protection from discrimination in employment since December 2003, but this does not mean that discrimination on the basis of a person’s sexual orientation has been eliminated. In particular, gay employees can still face problems in religion-based organisations.
The Armed Forces
The ban on gay people in the armed services was officially lifted in 2000.
Prisons
In some prisons where the prison culture is particularly homophobic, gay prisoners, including those on remand, risk harassment, abuse and violence.
Telling your doctor
It is worth mentioning, too, that if you disclose your sexuality to your general practitioner (doctor), they may record these details in your medical records. These medical records can be accessed by a range of organisations for many different purposes.
There comes a time to stop talking and to get on with living your (new) life exactly how you want to. It's time to meet other gay and bisexual people and to explore your sexuality safely and confidently.
A common reaction to this statement, especially in rural areas is, "Fine - but where do I start?" Remember that being gay is about expressing yourself in the way YOU want to. Despite the stereotypes, there is no single way of being gay. We are all as different as any other group of people.
Going out with friends and meeting new ones at clubs or parties can be great. But the scene isn't for everybody and it's not everything there is to being gay. Most towns and cities have gay social groups and gay men's health projects. These can be excellent places to meet new people and to find out what there is to do locally and most will arrange to meet first time visitors beforehand.
As with any group of people, there will be some you get on with and some you won't. If you feel that you have little in common with the gay people you have met so far, you could try different ways of contacting more gay men, for example as pen pals, or through the many special interest gay groups (like gay men's choirs or gay football supporters networks) - look them up in Gay Times.
Healthy lives and ...
There's no doubt that having a positive attitude towards yourself goes a long way to keeping healthy. It's also important, in whatever you do, that you look after yourself and consider your actions in relation to others.
This is particularly useful advice when it comes to sex. Whether it's a relationship or a one night stand, sex with another man can feel great and should make us feel good about who we are. Sex with other men can be whatever you want it to be and it's important to be clear about what you do want to do and what you don't. As with anything, people have their likes and dislikes and it's important that you talk them over with your sexual partner.
... safer sex
In the United Kingdom, HIV (the virus that is believed to be the cause of AIDS) affects more gay men than any other group and this can make us anxious about sex. But once we know how we can protect ourselves and our partners, we can relax and enjoy ourselves. HIV cannot be passed on through wanking, kissing, touching or hugging. The risk of transmitting HIV through oral sex (cock sucking) is believed to be very low but if either of you have cuts or sores in the mouth you should use condoms (flavoured ones taste much better).
Anal sex (fucking), is the riskiest activity as far as transmitting HIV is concerned but by using suitable condoms and lubricant every time you fuck you can substantially reduce the risk. Suitable condoms for fucking are: Mates Superstrong, Durex UltraStrong, H.T. Special, GaySafe and Boy's Own. Of course, there is still a risk if the condom breaks, leaks or comes off. Lubricant is essential as it makes it safer and easier, so always use plenty of water based lube such as KY or Liquid Silk. Don't use oils, creams or lotions such as Vaseline or baby oil as they weaken the rubber in condoms in seconds.
You can obtain suitable condoms free of charge from Gay Men's Health Projects, some gay bars and clubs, Family Planning Clinics, some Youth Advisory Services and local GUM (Clap/VD/STD) clinics. Check the Yellow Pages for the clinic addresses if you are unsure where the nearest ones to you are.
While on the subject of sexually transmited diseases, it is worth mentioning that Hepatitis B is far more prevalent than HIV among gay men and it is much easier to become infected with it. The good news is that there is a vaccine against Hepatitis B and you can get vaccinated free of charge at your local GUM clinic.
Why am I gay?
Nobody knows for sure why some of us are gay and some of us are not. Lots of theories have been put forward ranging from genetic differences to overbearing parents. The evidence so far suggests that random genetic factors play a part in determining our sexuality in the same way they play a part in determining, for example, lefthandedness.
One thing we do know is that no-one chooses their sexuality. Some gay people knew they were different, if not gay, from as young as five or six. It is said that, for most of us, our sexuality is determined by the age of 12 or 13 and probably 16 at the latest. By and large, society tends to assume that everyone is, or wants to be, heterosexual. This is known as heterosexism. Some people continue to believe that it is a choice and that we can be persuaded into heterosexuality. By assuming heterosexuality, society gives rise to the dilemma, for those of us who know we are gay, of whether to hide our sexuality or to come out - with all that this entails.
There have been small but perceptible changes in the way British society views homosexuality, but there is a long way to go before it will accept us in the same way as it does people who are, say, lefthanded. This has more to do with society's hang-ups around sex and sexuality than individual gay people. Often, once people know someone who is gay, their prejudices and fears about homosexuality disappear all together.
Growing up gay
For many young gay or bisexual people, adolescence can be a time of particular anxiety and fear. Many lesbians and gay men look back on this part of their lives with sadness and regret. There are very few positive gay role models and a lot of hostility towards openly gay people. Gay teenagers often become painfully aware that they are not like other people and many become withdrawn and lonely, convinced that only they are feeling this way. They learn to hide their true feelings or act as others want them to, for fear of being ostracised, ridiculed or rejected by loved ones and friends.
Above all, there can be a sense that we are somehow different, that we are abnormal and that we are going to disappoint people.
Some people believe that if they get married their gay feelings will disappear. It is unusual for this to happen. Most store up a great deal of stress and anxiety for their later years. Coming out as a gay parent has particular challenges. Breaking out of a clearly defined role, or even attempting to shift the definition of it, involves tremendous courage and strength. The conflict between their relationship with their spouse and family and their need to be themselves can be enormous.
Coming out
There are several stages in the process of coming out. It's your life so take your time - do things for you and only when you are ready.
Coming out to yourself
Acknowledging that you are gay can take many years. Some of us probably hoped these feelings were "just a phase". In time, we realise that these feelings are not just a phase and we have to find a way of accepting them and dealing with the fact that we are sexually attracted to members of our own sex.
This realisation is the first stage of coming out. There is no hard and fast rule when this point is reached. For some it happens in their teens, for others it may happen much later in life.
Some people describe this time of accepting their sexuality as though they were riding an emotional rollercoaster. One day they felt happy and confident and ready to tell everyone; the next they felt confused, scared and relieved that they hadn't. You may want to talk to someone who understands what this is like.
So you still want to come out?
This is a nerve racking time - the fear of rejection is likely to be immense. Bear in mind that there are many ways to tell someone that you are gay.
It may be helpful to ask yourself some of the questions that come up later in this guide, as it is more than likely that others will ask you them at some point. Don't rehearse your answers but think of your reasons - it will make you and your discussions stronger and more assured.
The next stage involves going public in some way, of "coming out of the closet". Who you tell next is really up to you. You may decide to tell your best friend or a member of your family.
Remember, once you have told someone about your sexuality it can become known to others within a short period. This is human nature and there is very little you can do to prevent this. If you are resolved to deal with any negativity that this disclosure may bring, you will be sufficiently prepared for it.
Why do I want to come out?
This is the most important question to ask yourself. If you answer something like: "Because I'm proud of who I am" or "It is impossible to become a fully happy human being if my sexuality remains suppressed" or "I want to meet other gay people" then these are good reasons. Think very carefully if your reasoning is to hurt or shock people. Often the person who gets hurt will be you.
Who should I tell?
Many gay people describe how important it is to first tell someone outside the family. Make sure it's someone you trust and who you believe to be open minded and supportive. Be careful if you decide to confide in a teacher at school - they may be obliged to tell someone else what you have told them. Find out the school policy on confidentiality before you go ahead.
If you have decided to tell your family it may be easier to talk to one parent before the other. You could then ask them for help to approach the other. Sometimes brothers and sisters are a good starting point as they are likely to understand more about homosexuality or bisexuality. Make sure you understand why you are going to tell them. One of the best reasons to come out to your family is to become closer to them.
There are a number of typical responses that parents, particularly, are known to say: "How can you be sure?", "I went through a phase like this at your age", "You'll grow out of it", "You haven't tried hard enough with the opposite sex" and "How can you know at your age?"
We have listed them here because they may help you to think of your answers to them. You might find it helpful to discuss these questions first with a trusted friend or a lesbian and gay helpline or switchboard.
Support for your family
This can be a traumatic time for some members of your family. You may feel unable to answer all their questions or to deal with all of the issues that come up for them. They, in turn, may not feel comfortable talking about homosexuality or bisexuality with you. There are several organisations that offer support to parents who are coming to terms with their sons' and daughters' sexuality. FFLAG (Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) produce booklets specially written for parents.
This can be a difficult time if your happiness is dependent to some degree on your family's reaction. If this is the case for you, we would advise that you talk it over with someone who has been through it already - perhaps your local gay switchboard or helpline.
How should I tell them?
There is no rule that says you have to sit down and talk to others about this, there are other ways.
You might like to write to them first and give them time to react in their own way. This is probably a better approach if, for example, you live a long way from your family or friends. Remember that you have probably taken a long time to get used to the idea yourself and others might need the same amount of time. Writing a letter allows you to take your time and to compose your thoughts carefully and clearly. It can also give the person you are writing to space to react and consider the news before discussing it with you. This could be a useful approach if you are expecting a very hostile or negative reaction.
If you decide to talk face to face, remember not to rush it or to do it when one of you is in a hurry or distracted. It probably won't help to memorise a script either - you can guarantee that some people do not respond in a predictable manner. If you are worried about their reaction, tell them of your fears and that you don't want to hurt them but need to be honest with them. Remember to listen to what they have to say - it should be along the lines of a chat, not a speech!
When should I tell them?
When it comes to coming out, timing is an important consideration. Choose the moment carefully - do it when you (and they) have lots of time - not last thing at night when you are likely to be more tired and emotional.
Think about the way you are feeling, allowing for nerves, which are perfectly natural under the circumstances, don't do it if you are feeling angry or emotionally sensitive - this will affect what you say and how you say it. For obvious reasons don't do it when you are drunk (even if you think you need a drink to steady your nerves).
And remember - only when you are good and ready. A friend once said that he knew he was ready to tell his family only when he realised that, if he had to, he could live without their support. Fortunately for him (and his family) this didn't happen.
Consequences and reactions
So you've told someone. You are either balancing on the edge of an erupting volcano or dancing with joy on the moon (or both!). Some people describe a huge weight being lifted from their shoulders, of feeling euphoric and giggly and childlike again.
Don't feel guilty about it - go on and enjoy yourself, you deserve it. The thrill of revealing something long kept hidden can give a tremendous sense of relief.
Use this new found energy wisely and remember that close friends and family may be worried that you have changed out of all recognition. Reassure them that you have changed - and for the better and that you are simply exploring a new, more complete you.
Most people will experience many positive reactions. For example, "We're so pleased you could tell us" or "Well we had already guessed and were just waiting for you to say something". Some gay people have also met with the response, "So am I".
"My parents refused to talk about it. They dismissed it and said they didn't want the subject brought up again. I decided that I was going to continue to live my life as a gay man. I stopped going home as often as I used to and attending family occasions. It is only now, three years later, that they have begun to broach the subject with me."
If it hasn't gone too well - don't lose heart. Time is a great healer and things will get better. If you are experiencing rejection from some close friends, ask yourself if they were really so close that they couldn't support you through this. If your family is reacting badly, this is in all probability, normal. They may be experiencing a whole range of emotions including shock, grief, guilt, blame, disappointment and lots of pain.
"My family say that they accept that I am gay but they don't want to see me being affectionate with another man. They say that they won't be able to cope with it."
Remember how long it took for you to come to terms with being gay. Many parents will feel a loss in some way - perhaps of future grandchildren or weddings and other family gatherings. This can blur their happiness and their love for you.
"I was at a wedding recently and everyone was there with their partners. I was upset that I couldn't bring mine. Everyone asked the usual embarrassing questions about girlfriends and I just had to smile and make excuses. I didn't want to row with my family about it but it's just not fair."
At the end of the day, your parents are still your parents and, in time, few reject their children because they are gay.
"My dad said, "You're still my son and I'm proud of you." He'd been very homophobic up to then."
If they go quiet on you, give them time to react and the opportunity to think about what you have told them. If they ask lots of questions, it's a good sign. It may help to think of it as though it is in your interests to respond to them - they are likely to be the same ones that you have asked yourself many times along the way.
If things are so bad that you feel like giving up with the whole process of coming out, it's important to talk to someone about your fears and concerns. Again your local switchboard, helpline or Gay Men's Health Project can offer you support and guidance.
It's probably better to persevere and keep going, after all, you have come this far and in many ways it would be difficult or impossible to go back now. The next person you talk to will probably give you a huge hug and say that they were relieved that you had found the courage to tell them and that they had suspected that something may have been on your mind for a long time.
Coming out at work
Gay people have received legal protection from discrimination in employment since December 2003, but this does not mean that discrimination on the basis of a person’s sexual orientation has been eliminated. In particular, gay employees can still face problems in religion-based organisations.
The Armed Forces
The ban on gay people in the armed services was officially lifted in 2000.
Prisons
In some prisons where the prison culture is particularly homophobic, gay prisoners, including those on remand, risk harassment, abuse and violence.
Telling your doctor
It is worth mentioning, too, that if you disclose your sexuality to your general practitioner (doctor), they may record these details in your medical records. These medical records can be accessed by a range of organisations for many different purposes.
There comes a time to stop talking and to get on with living your (new) life exactly how you want to. It's time to meet other gay and bisexual people and to explore your sexuality safely and confidently.
A common reaction to this statement, especially in rural areas is, "Fine - but where do I start?" Remember that being gay is about expressing yourself in the way YOU want to. Despite the stereotypes, there is no single way of being gay. We are all as different as any other group of people.
Going out with friends and meeting new ones at clubs or parties can be great. But the scene isn't for everybody and it's not everything there is to being gay. Most towns and cities have gay social groups and gay men's health projects. These can be excellent places to meet new people and to find out what there is to do locally and most will arrange to meet first time visitors beforehand.
As with any group of people, there will be some you get on with and some you won't. If you feel that you have little in common with the gay people you have met so far, you could try different ways of contacting more gay men, for example as pen pals, or through the many special interest gay groups (like gay men's choirs or gay football supporters networks) - look them up in Gay Times.
Healthy lives and ...
There's no doubt that having a positive attitude towards yourself goes a long way to keeping healthy. It's also important, in whatever you do, that you look after yourself and consider your actions in relation to others.
This is particularly useful advice when it comes to sex. Whether it's a relationship or a one night stand, sex with another man can feel great and should make us feel good about who we are. Sex with other men can be whatever you want it to be and it's important to be clear about what you do want to do and what you don't. As with anything, people have their likes and dislikes and it's important that you talk them over with your sexual partner.
... safer sex
In the United Kingdom, HIV (the virus that is believed to be the cause of AIDS) affects more gay men than any other group and this can make us anxious about sex. But once we know how we can protect ourselves and our partners, we can relax and enjoy ourselves. HIV cannot be passed on through wanking, kissing, touching or hugging. The risk of transmitting HIV through oral sex (cock sucking) is believed to be very low but if either of you have cuts or sores in the mouth you should use condoms (flavoured ones taste much better).
Anal sex (fucking), is the riskiest activity as far as transmitting HIV is concerned but by using suitable condoms and lubricant every time you fuck you can substantially reduce the risk. Suitable condoms for fucking are: Mates Superstrong, Durex UltraStrong, H.T. Special, GaySafe and Boy's Own. Of course, there is still a risk if the condom breaks, leaks or comes off. Lubricant is essential as it makes it safer and easier, so always use plenty of water based lube such as KY or Liquid Silk. Don't use oils, creams or lotions such as Vaseline or baby oil as they weaken the rubber in condoms in seconds.
You can obtain suitable condoms free of charge from Gay Men's Health Projects, some gay bars and clubs, Family Planning Clinics, some Youth Advisory Services and local GUM (Clap/VD/STD) clinics. Check the Yellow Pages for the clinic addresses if you are unsure where the nearest ones to you are.
While on the subject of sexually transmited diseases, it is worth mentioning that Hepatitis B is far more prevalent than HIV among gay men and it is much easier to become infected with it. The good news is that there is a vaccine against Hepatitis B and you can get vaccinated free of charge at your local GUM clinic.
Being Gay
Am I?
Many people feel attracted to people of the same sex, and wonder whether this means that they are gay. For some people these feelings can be very intense and alienating, whilst some people are more comfortable with these feelings earlier on. Some people who ask themselves the question "am I gay?" are indeed attracted primarily to members of the same sex, and go on to have gay sexual relationships. People sometimes find that their feelings change over time.
Some people are bisexual, meaning they are attracted to both men and women, and at different times, have relationships with both. Some people are not attracted to anyone and wonder if this is a sign that they are gay. Often it is only time that will resolve these uncertainties.
When?
There is no simple answer to this question, as it varies from person to person. Becoming aware of gay or bi-sexual feelings often happens gradually, it may not be something you can initially put a name to, and it can feel very confusing.
During research carried out with young gay men in the UK, the men interviewed described a set of feelings which they gradually realised made them 'different' in some way, feelings they thought maybe every teenage boy has.
“I thought, well, this is just the phase bit. Sooner or later I'm going to start finding women attractive. I never did. As I became more attracted to men, and I still wasn't getting attracted to women, I thought, shit, you're gay. And it was really quite a shock when it hit me.”Luke
With time, someone who is gay will realise that not only are they sexually attracted to members of the same sex, but that this attraction is not transitional, or as often described 'just a phase'. This realisation could come at any time during their lives. Many people become aware of gay feelings during their teenage years, as this is when they begin to learn more about their sexuality and identity. However, the difficulties associated with accepting these feelings and coming out mean that many gay people don't identify themselves as gay until later on in life.
How?
There is no simple answer to the question, 'Are some people born lesbian or gay?' There are some theories that stress biological differences between heterosexual and homosexual adults, suggesting that people are born with their sexuality already determined.
he American researcher Dean Hamer published research that seemed to prove that homosexual orientation could be genetically transmitted to men on the x chromosome, which they get from their mothers. However when this study was duplicated it did not produce the same results. A follow-up study which Hamer collaborated on also failed to reinforce his earlier results.
Subsequent research published by George Rice and George Ebers of the Universty of Western Ontario has cast doubt on Hamer's theory. Rice and Ebers' research also tested the same region of the x chromosome in a larger sample of gay men, but failed to find the same 'marker' that Hamer's research had found. Claims that the part of the brain known as the hypothalamus is influential in determining sexual orientation, have yet to be substantiated.
“How can science tell you what I am? I mean I've had boyfriends, and was happy with them, had girlfriends and may have boyfriends again for all I know. If it's a gay gene what's going on? Is it just turning itself on and off in my head? It doesn't feel like biology it feels like love.”Jo
Psycho-social explanations offer a variety of factors that could contribute to the development of a person's homosexuality. For example, a female dominated upbringing in a gay man's past, with an absence of a male role model. Others stress adherence or deviance from conformity to gender roles, and individual psychological makeup.
While none of these factors alone completely answers the question 'what causes homosexuality?', they rule out some things. For example, lesbian and gay young people are not 'failed' heterosexuals. Also, homosexual partners are generally of the same age proving wrong the assumptions that young people are 'turned gay' by older people.
What is clear is that people's behaviour is influenced by their family environment, their experiences and their sense of themselves. Beliefs about sex are initially shaped by family values. Later on these beliefs may be shaped by pleasant and unpleasant experiences of sex and also shape their choice of activities and partners. Throughout their life a person's sense of who and what they are has a strong impact on their sexual development and experience.
Can I Stop?
There is now growing general support for the belief that sexuality is pre-determined, though may change over time. However, many people are interested in whether sexuality can be altered solely by a person's desire to change. Organisations that claim to help homosexuals attempt to change their sexuality can be generally divided between those that use psychological 'reparative' methods and those that use religious 'healing' methods.
Some people believe homosexuality is an illness and believe it can and should be cured. Many of these 'cures' revolve around psychological therapies (often called reparative therapy) which endeavour to re-orient a homosexual sexuality to heterosexual. Although there is little scientific data to evaluate, what is available seems to indicate that reparative therapy is ineffective. The American Psychological Association (APA), the world's largest association of psychologists has stated that:
“Homosexuality is not a mental disorder and the APA opposes all portrayals of lesbian, gay and bisexual people as mentally ill and in need of treatment due to their sexual orientation.”
As with reparative therapy there has been little to no scientific evaluation of the healing and prayer techniques used to attempt to change people. What evidence is available suggests that the success of these techniques is restricted to three areas:
Convincing bisexual people to limit their sexual activities to members of the opposite sex.
Convincing homosexual people to become celibate.
Convincing gay men and lesbian women to attempt to maintain heterosexual relationships, whilst retaining their homosexual orientation.
Tellingly, two founders of a ministry established to 'heal' homosexuals later described their programme as 'ineffective ... not one person was healed'.
The subject of 'curing' homosexuality became a politically charged debate in America, with Christian political organisations promoting the theory that homosexuality can be changed through force of will alone. They claim that 'thousands are leaving their homosexual identity for sexual celibacy, and even marriage'. Alternatively, gay and lesbian rights organisations would argue that these views misunderstand what it means to be gay, and amount to discrimination against gay and lesbian people. Furthermore, the American Psychological Association has carried out a systematic review, which not only concludes that psychological interventions are not effective at changing sexual orientation, but they can also cause significant harm.
Many people feel attracted to people of the same sex, and wonder whether this means that they are gay. For some people these feelings can be very intense and alienating, whilst some people are more comfortable with these feelings earlier on. Some people who ask themselves the question "am I gay?" are indeed attracted primarily to members of the same sex, and go on to have gay sexual relationships. People sometimes find that their feelings change over time.
Some people are bisexual, meaning they are attracted to both men and women, and at different times, have relationships with both. Some people are not attracted to anyone and wonder if this is a sign that they are gay. Often it is only time that will resolve these uncertainties.
When?
There is no simple answer to this question, as it varies from person to person. Becoming aware of gay or bi-sexual feelings often happens gradually, it may not be something you can initially put a name to, and it can feel very confusing.
During research carried out with young gay men in the UK, the men interviewed described a set of feelings which they gradually realised made them 'different' in some way, feelings they thought maybe every teenage boy has.
“I thought, well, this is just the phase bit. Sooner or later I'm going to start finding women attractive. I never did. As I became more attracted to men, and I still wasn't getting attracted to women, I thought, shit, you're gay. And it was really quite a shock when it hit me.”Luke
With time, someone who is gay will realise that not only are they sexually attracted to members of the same sex, but that this attraction is not transitional, or as often described 'just a phase'. This realisation could come at any time during their lives. Many people become aware of gay feelings during their teenage years, as this is when they begin to learn more about their sexuality and identity. However, the difficulties associated with accepting these feelings and coming out mean that many gay people don't identify themselves as gay until later on in life.
How?
There is no simple answer to the question, 'Are some people born lesbian or gay?' There are some theories that stress biological differences between heterosexual and homosexual adults, suggesting that people are born with their sexuality already determined.
he American researcher Dean Hamer published research that seemed to prove that homosexual orientation could be genetically transmitted to men on the x chromosome, which they get from their mothers. However when this study was duplicated it did not produce the same results. A follow-up study which Hamer collaborated on also failed to reinforce his earlier results.
Subsequent research published by George Rice and George Ebers of the Universty of Western Ontario has cast doubt on Hamer's theory. Rice and Ebers' research also tested the same region of the x chromosome in a larger sample of gay men, but failed to find the same 'marker' that Hamer's research had found. Claims that the part of the brain known as the hypothalamus is influential in determining sexual orientation, have yet to be substantiated.
“How can science tell you what I am? I mean I've had boyfriends, and was happy with them, had girlfriends and may have boyfriends again for all I know. If it's a gay gene what's going on? Is it just turning itself on and off in my head? It doesn't feel like biology it feels like love.”Jo
Psycho-social explanations offer a variety of factors that could contribute to the development of a person's homosexuality. For example, a female dominated upbringing in a gay man's past, with an absence of a male role model. Others stress adherence or deviance from conformity to gender roles, and individual psychological makeup.
While none of these factors alone completely answers the question 'what causes homosexuality?', they rule out some things. For example, lesbian and gay young people are not 'failed' heterosexuals. Also, homosexual partners are generally of the same age proving wrong the assumptions that young people are 'turned gay' by older people.
What is clear is that people's behaviour is influenced by their family environment, their experiences and their sense of themselves. Beliefs about sex are initially shaped by family values. Later on these beliefs may be shaped by pleasant and unpleasant experiences of sex and also shape their choice of activities and partners. Throughout their life a person's sense of who and what they are has a strong impact on their sexual development and experience.
Can I Stop?
There is now growing general support for the belief that sexuality is pre-determined, though may change over time. However, many people are interested in whether sexuality can be altered solely by a person's desire to change. Organisations that claim to help homosexuals attempt to change their sexuality can be generally divided between those that use psychological 'reparative' methods and those that use religious 'healing' methods.
Some people believe homosexuality is an illness and believe it can and should be cured. Many of these 'cures' revolve around psychological therapies (often called reparative therapy) which endeavour to re-orient a homosexual sexuality to heterosexual. Although there is little scientific data to evaluate, what is available seems to indicate that reparative therapy is ineffective. The American Psychological Association (APA), the world's largest association of psychologists has stated that:
“Homosexuality is not a mental disorder and the APA opposes all portrayals of lesbian, gay and bisexual people as mentally ill and in need of treatment due to their sexual orientation.”
As with reparative therapy there has been little to no scientific evaluation of the healing and prayer techniques used to attempt to change people. What evidence is available suggests that the success of these techniques is restricted to three areas:
Convincing bisexual people to limit their sexual activities to members of the opposite sex.
Convincing homosexual people to become celibate.
Convincing gay men and lesbian women to attempt to maintain heterosexual relationships, whilst retaining their homosexual orientation.
Tellingly, two founders of a ministry established to 'heal' homosexuals later described their programme as 'ineffective ... not one person was healed'.
The subject of 'curing' homosexuality became a politically charged debate in America, with Christian political organisations promoting the theory that homosexuality can be changed through force of will alone. They claim that 'thousands are leaving their homosexual identity for sexual celibacy, and even marriage'. Alternatively, gay and lesbian rights organisations would argue that these views misunderstand what it means to be gay, and amount to discrimination against gay and lesbian people. Furthermore, the American Psychological Association has carried out a systematic review, which not only concludes that psychological interventions are not effective at changing sexual orientation, but they can also cause significant harm.
Sunday, 7 October 2012
Explaining The Gift Of Dyslexia
Why is dyslexia a gift?
Dyslexic people are highly creative, intuitive, and excel at three-dimensional problem solving and hands-on learning. Our visual and holistic learning style means that we learn best through the creative process, with methods that focus on mastery of the meanings of words and symbols.
The true gift of dyslexia is the gift of mastery. When we use learning methods that fit our thinking style, we can excel in academics and read and write efficiently.
Dyslexic people are highly creative, intuitive, and excel at three-dimensional problem solving and hands-on learning. Our visual and holistic learning style means that we learn best through the creative process, with methods that focus on mastery of the meanings of words and symbols.
The true gift of dyslexia is the gift of mastery. When we use learning methods that fit our thinking style, we can excel in academics and read and write efficiently.
Teaching Aaron About Dyslexia
General
Appears bright, highly intelligent, and articulate but unable to read, write, or spell at grade level.
Labelled lazy, dumb, careless, immature, "not trying hard enough," or "behavior problem."
Isn't "behind enough" or "bad enough" to be helped in the school setting.
High in IQ, yet may not test well academically; tests well orally, but not written.
Feels dumb; has poor self-esteem; hides or covers up weaknesses with ingenious compensatory strategies; easily frustrated and emotional about school reading or testing.
Talented in art, drama, music, sports, mechanics, story-telling, sales, business, designing, building, or engineering.
Seems to "Zone out" or daydream often; gets lost easily or loses track of time.
Difficulty sustaining attention; seems "hyper" or "daydreamer."
Learns best through hands-on experience, demonstrations, experimentation, observation, and visual aids.
Vision, Reading, and Spelling
Complains of dizziness, headaches or stomach aches while reading.
Confused by letters, numbers, words, sequences, or verbal explanations.
Reading or writing shows repetitions, additions, transpositions, omissions, substitutions, and reversals in letters, numbers and/or words.
Complains of feeling or seeing non-existent movement while reading, writing, or copying.
Seems to have difficulty with vision, yet eye exams don't reveal a problem.
Extremely keen sighted and observant, or lacks depth perception and peripheral vision.
Reads and rereads with little comprehension.
Spells phonetically and inconsistently.
Math and Time Management
Has difficulty telling time, managing time, learning sequenced information or tasks, or being on time.
Computing math shows dependence on finger counting and other tricks; knows answers, but can't do it on paper.
Can count, but has difficulty counting objects and dealing with money.
Can do arithmetic, but fails word problems; cannot grasp algebra or higher math.
Memory and Cognition
Excellent long-term memory for experiences, locations, and faces.
Poor memory for sequences, facts and information that has not been experienced.
Thinks primarily with images and feeling, not sounds or words (little internal dialogue).
Hearing and Speech
Has extended hearing; hears things not said or apparent to others; easily distracted by sounds.
Difficulty putting thoughts into words; speaks in halting phrases; leaves sentences incomplete; stutters under stress; mispronounces long words, or transposes phrases, words, and syllables when speaking.
Writing and Motor Skills
Trouble with writing or copying; pencil grip is unusual; handwriting varies or is illegible.
Clumsy, uncoordinated, poor at ball or team sports; difficulties with fine and/or gross motor skills and tasks; prone to motion-sickness.
Can be ambidextrous, and often confuses left/right, over/under.
Behavior, Health, Development and Personality
Extremely disorderly or compulsively orderly.
Can be class clown, trouble-maker, or too quiet.
Had unusually early or late developmental stages (talking, crawling, walking, tying shoes).
Prone to ear infections; sensitive to foods, additives, and chemical products.
Can be an extra deep or light sleeper; bedwetting beyond appropriate age.
Unusually high or low tolerance for pain.
Strong sense of justice; emotionally sensitive; strives for perfection.
Mistakes and symptoms increase dramatically with confusion, time pressure, emotional stress, or poor health.
http://www.dyslexia.com/library/adult-symptoms.htm
http://www.dyslexia.com/library/information.htm
http://www.dyslexia.com/library/davismethods.htm
http://www.dyslexia.com/library/symptoms.htm
Appears bright, highly intelligent, and articulate but unable to read, write, or spell at grade level.
Labelled lazy, dumb, careless, immature, "not trying hard enough," or "behavior problem."
Isn't "behind enough" or "bad enough" to be helped in the school setting.
High in IQ, yet may not test well academically; tests well orally, but not written.
Feels dumb; has poor self-esteem; hides or covers up weaknesses with ingenious compensatory strategies; easily frustrated and emotional about school reading or testing.
Talented in art, drama, music, sports, mechanics, story-telling, sales, business, designing, building, or engineering.
Seems to "Zone out" or daydream often; gets lost easily or loses track of time.
Difficulty sustaining attention; seems "hyper" or "daydreamer."
Learns best through hands-on experience, demonstrations, experimentation, observation, and visual aids.
Vision, Reading, and Spelling
Complains of dizziness, headaches or stomach aches while reading.
Confused by letters, numbers, words, sequences, or verbal explanations.
Reading or writing shows repetitions, additions, transpositions, omissions, substitutions, and reversals in letters, numbers and/or words.
Complains of feeling or seeing non-existent movement while reading, writing, or copying.
Seems to have difficulty with vision, yet eye exams don't reveal a problem.
Extremely keen sighted and observant, or lacks depth perception and peripheral vision.
Reads and rereads with little comprehension.
Spells phonetically and inconsistently.
Math and Time Management
Has difficulty telling time, managing time, learning sequenced information or tasks, or being on time.
Computing math shows dependence on finger counting and other tricks; knows answers, but can't do it on paper.
Can count, but has difficulty counting objects and dealing with money.
Can do arithmetic, but fails word problems; cannot grasp algebra or higher math.
Memory and Cognition
Excellent long-term memory for experiences, locations, and faces.
Poor memory for sequences, facts and information that has not been experienced.
Thinks primarily with images and feeling, not sounds or words (little internal dialogue).
Hearing and Speech
Has extended hearing; hears things not said or apparent to others; easily distracted by sounds.
Difficulty putting thoughts into words; speaks in halting phrases; leaves sentences incomplete; stutters under stress; mispronounces long words, or transposes phrases, words, and syllables when speaking.
Writing and Motor Skills
Trouble with writing or copying; pencil grip is unusual; handwriting varies or is illegible.
Clumsy, uncoordinated, poor at ball or team sports; difficulties with fine and/or gross motor skills and tasks; prone to motion-sickness.
Can be ambidextrous, and often confuses left/right, over/under.
Behavior, Health, Development and Personality
Extremely disorderly or compulsively orderly.
Can be class clown, trouble-maker, or too quiet.
Had unusually early or late developmental stages (talking, crawling, walking, tying shoes).
Prone to ear infections; sensitive to foods, additives, and chemical products.
Can be an extra deep or light sleeper; bedwetting beyond appropriate age.
Unusually high or low tolerance for pain.
Strong sense of justice; emotionally sensitive; strives for perfection.
Mistakes and symptoms increase dramatically with confusion, time pressure, emotional stress, or poor health.
http://www.dyslexia.com/library/adult-symptoms.htm
http://www.dyslexia.com/library/information.htm
http://www.dyslexia.com/library/davismethods.htm
http://www.dyslexia.com/library/symptoms.htm
Puberty Continued
What sets it going?
When your body is ready to begin puberty, your pituitary (say: pih-too-uh-ter-ee) gland (a pea-shaped gland located at the bottom of your brain) releases special hormones.
Depending on whether you're a boy or a girl, these hormones go to work on your skin, sex organs (reproductive organs) and hair. It also affects your emotions and moods.
So what will physically change on my body?
Good question...
Usually the first sign you shall notice is the enlargement of your testes (or testicles). The scrotal skin will also change texture.
Your penis gets longer and wider.
Hairs will grow all over your body. You shall notice this on your face, like a beard, chest, moustache or sideburns, legs, armpits and around the penis. Usually it's pretty thin at first but gets stronger and darker towards the end of puberty.
Your shoulders get wider, muscles start to get bigger and stronger and you gain weight. Physically, some boys become bigger really fast. Not everyone grows at the same time or the same rate. Some people have their growth spurt really early and others really late.
You may notice that you are getting an 'Adam's apple'. This is your larynx (voice box) getting larger and sticking out at the front of your throat. Your voice may seem to be cracking, squeaking and deepening. This is normal. When your larynx has finished growing your voice will sound OK again and probably a bit deeper than before. You will begin to sound like your dad and play tricks on the telephone (don't do that)
Breasts look like they're developing a bit! (This is quite normal and usually goes away by the end of puberty)
Your body will start producing more sex hormones, so they have more sexual feelings and more erections.
You get erections sometimes because you're nervous or excited and other times when it just happens by itself! This can be a bit embarrassing at first but other people don't usually notice them as much as you do. Think of something different like a pending exams and soon the erections will vanish.
You may have 'nocturnal emissions' or wet dreams while you are sleeping. The 'wet' stuff is seamen and you haven't wet the bed! It is also a normal part of growing up because your body is starting to produce sperms.
Be ready for acne, pimples, zits, spots and stuff like that.
Your skin and hair will probably become more oily. Hair follicles (where a hair grows out of your skin) get blocked by dead skin cells, and bacteria grows. The bacteria makes your skin erupt into pimples. These are usually on the face, shoulders, arms, back, and chest. They can look red, white, or black.
Those little bumps and marks on your face that can make you miserable and sometimes, not even want to leave the house. Nobody likes them, but almost everybody gets them. Just try to live with it. It will all clear up after puberty.
More sweat, and stinkier sweat, are a normal part of puberty. It happens to all kids as they get older - boys and girls. It's because of those puberty hormones again. The hormones are affecting your sweat glands, and your sweat glands are making chemicals that sometimes make you smell. There are lots of sweat glands under your arms, so your armpits might be one place you're a bit stinky.
Are there any more changes?
Yes, Apart from the physical changes, there will be quiet a bit of emotional and psychological changes too.
Mixed feelings
Many people experience mixed up feelings and mood swings. One minute you have lots of energy and the next you feel so absolutely dead tired that you just want to be left alone.
The more you know the better you can cope.
Depend and share information with your trusted friends.
Talk about what you're feeling with your trusted friends. They may be feeling the same way, or they may know how to help you. At the very least, they might offer support and understanding, or just listen to you so you can get it all out.
Talk to an adult.
Parents, School counselors, school nurses, and doctors can give you advice and support.
Express yourself.
If you like to write, draw, paint, sing, or play music or do something unique, go for it - it's cool to use these great outlets for letting your feelings out!
How to deal with body smells during puberty
Sweating is normal, especially if you're hot or nervous or anxious. It can actually be good for you, because it will help your body cool down if it needs to. If you're worried that your sweat is stinky, or that people might notice, there are some easy fixes:
Take a shower.
If you don't shower every day, puberty is probably the time to start. Washing well with soap and hot water can get rid of any smell that's built up on your skin from sweating. You might want to shower after exercising or playing sports, too. You'll smell better, look cleaner, and feel refreshed.
Try deodorant.
Deodorant comes in many forms: solid stick, roll-on, gel, spray, and so on. It's kind of like perfume, because it can help to cover up the smell of sweat. You usually apply it under your arms, where you sweat the most. It isn't always necessary for everyone to use deodorant, but it can help you feel confident if you think your sweat is a little smelly.
If you think that you sweat A LOT (big wet spots that show up on your shirt, etc.), you can try using antiperspirant.
This is a kind of deodorant that has a special ingredient to block some of your sweat. Many products these days have both deodorants and antiperspirants.
Don't use too much, or use it too often, though. Remember: sweating is a good thing. It keeps you cool and healthy.
How to deal with erections.
Erections are absolutely normal, and they happen to all guys. During puberty, they can happen for no reason at all - its just because your body is filled with puberty hormones. They can also happen if you're thinking about sex.
Keep your cool, because erections are temporary. They usually don't last more that a couple of minutes. If you remain calm, the erection will go away. Just breathe and try to clear your mind.
How to deal with discharges
Wet dreams are totally normal too. They happen to almost all guys, and they're just the way your body gets rid of extra semen.
Again, try not to feel embarrassed or guilty as you don't have any control over this. Sometimes it can be difficult and bothering, but try not to get freaked out by the changes going on down there. You're slowly changing from a boy to a man, and this means that your private parts are changing too.
What about pimples, acne, spots and zits?
One cannot tell how long this is going to be on your skin. Some kids with acne have clear skin after a year, while others keep having break-outs for many years. Below are a few things that can make them worse.
Irritation
Squeezing or digging at your zits, or getting rough when you wash your face, can make acne worse. Just leave it alone.
Greasy skin stuff
Oily sunscreen, oily make-up, and oily hair products or skin lotions can all make acne worse. Talk to your doctor or school nurse about which products you should use on your skin and hair.
Intense sunlight
Wear a hat, stay in the shade, or find a good, non-oily sunblock. Lots of sun can make acne worse. Stay cool.
Stress
Anxiety or stress can sometimes make acne worse. Learn to manage stress, and your complexion might look better!
Thanks to modern medicine, we have more anti-acne options than ever. And here's something cool: less stress, by itself, can help make your skin look better too!
Yes, but sometimes shaving can cause a rash, particularly if you have not shaved before or has sensitive skin. Using shaving foam or gel before shaving will help reduce any irritation caused to the skin. You can also buy electric razors, which are used on dry skin and are less likely to cause cuts.
Very likely, you may not need to shave very often. But eventually you will probably need to shave every day as this hair starts to grow back thicker and more quickly.
When your body is ready to begin puberty, your pituitary (say: pih-too-uh-ter-ee) gland (a pea-shaped gland located at the bottom of your brain) releases special hormones.
Depending on whether you're a boy or a girl, these hormones go to work on your skin, sex organs (reproductive organs) and hair. It also affects your emotions and moods.
So what will physically change on my body?
Good question...
Usually the first sign you shall notice is the enlargement of your testes (or testicles). The scrotal skin will also change texture.
Your penis gets longer and wider.
Hairs will grow all over your body. You shall notice this on your face, like a beard, chest, moustache or sideburns, legs, armpits and around the penis. Usually it's pretty thin at first but gets stronger and darker towards the end of puberty.
Your shoulders get wider, muscles start to get bigger and stronger and you gain weight. Physically, some boys become bigger really fast. Not everyone grows at the same time or the same rate. Some people have their growth spurt really early and others really late.
You may notice that you are getting an 'Adam's apple'. This is your larynx (voice box) getting larger and sticking out at the front of your throat. Your voice may seem to be cracking, squeaking and deepening. This is normal. When your larynx has finished growing your voice will sound OK again and probably a bit deeper than before. You will begin to sound like your dad and play tricks on the telephone (don't do that)
Breasts look like they're developing a bit! (This is quite normal and usually goes away by the end of puberty)
Your body will start producing more sex hormones, so they have more sexual feelings and more erections.
You get erections sometimes because you're nervous or excited and other times when it just happens by itself! This can be a bit embarrassing at first but other people don't usually notice them as much as you do. Think of something different like a pending exams and soon the erections will vanish.
You may have 'nocturnal emissions' or wet dreams while you are sleeping. The 'wet' stuff is seamen and you haven't wet the bed! It is also a normal part of growing up because your body is starting to produce sperms.
Be ready for acne, pimples, zits, spots and stuff like that.
Your skin and hair will probably become more oily. Hair follicles (where a hair grows out of your skin) get blocked by dead skin cells, and bacteria grows. The bacteria makes your skin erupt into pimples. These are usually on the face, shoulders, arms, back, and chest. They can look red, white, or black.
Those little bumps and marks on your face that can make you miserable and sometimes, not even want to leave the house. Nobody likes them, but almost everybody gets them. Just try to live with it. It will all clear up after puberty.
More sweat, and stinkier sweat, are a normal part of puberty. It happens to all kids as they get older - boys and girls. It's because of those puberty hormones again. The hormones are affecting your sweat glands, and your sweat glands are making chemicals that sometimes make you smell. There are lots of sweat glands under your arms, so your armpits might be one place you're a bit stinky.
Are there any more changes?
Yes, Apart from the physical changes, there will be quiet a bit of emotional and psychological changes too.
Mixed feelings
Many people experience mixed up feelings and mood swings. One minute you have lots of energy and the next you feel so absolutely dead tired that you just want to be left alone.
Feeling sensitive.
It is very likely you might feel extra-sensitive to criticism, or teasing, or just about everything. Little things might set you off. You might think that nobody understands you. Relax dude.
It is very likely you might feel extra-sensitive to criticism, or teasing, or just about everything. Little things might set you off. You might think that nobody understands you. Relax dude.
Intense emotions.
You may feel the extremes of everything. For example you may HATE thinks that you only disliked, or may feel distressed about things that you would normally cope very well with. In other words, your emotions have gotten more intense.
You may feel the extremes of everything. For example you may HATE thinks that you only disliked, or may feel distressed about things that you would normally cope very well with. In other words, your emotions have gotten more intense.
Mood swings.
Your emotions are stronger, and they also switch back and forth more quickly than before. One second you're chatting up with your big sister, and the next thing you know you are so annoyed you don't even want to see her.
Your emotions are stronger, and they also switch back and forth more quickly than before. One second you're chatting up with your big sister, and the next thing you know you are so annoyed you don't even want to see her.
Unfamiliar emotions.
Puberty usually brings a whole new set of emotions you may have never felt before. For example, you may feel some sexual feelings that you never felt in the past. Spend time alone and get to know more about yourself.
Puberty usually brings a whole new set of emotions you may have never felt before. For example, you may feel some sexual feelings that you never felt in the past. Spend time alone and get to know more about yourself.
Conflict.
As you are becoming an adult, you may feel like you need to be independent, to be in control of your decisions and action. Suddenly you seem to find everything wrong with your family's rules and beliefs, and want to be left out of it. You want to be YOU, and this can lead to conflict with your parents, friends, or just about anyone. Of course, eventually it also leads to you becoming a unique person: your grown-up self.
As you are becoming an adult, you may feel like you need to be independent, to be in control of your decisions and action. Suddenly you seem to find everything wrong with your family's rules and beliefs, and want to be left out of it. You want to be YOU, and this can lead to conflict with your parents, friends, or just about anyone. Of course, eventually it also leads to you becoming a unique person: your grown-up self.
So, How Do Boys Cope?
Remember that you're not alone. All adults went through this and so will your class mates too.
Remember that you're not alone. All adults went through this and so will your class mates too.
Read about it.
The more you know the better you can cope.
Talk about what you're feeling with your trusted friends. They may be feeling the same way, or they may know how to help you. At the very least, they might offer support and understanding, or just listen to you so you can get it all out.
Talk to an adult.
Parents, School counselors, school nurses, and doctors can give you advice and support.
Express yourself.
If you like to write, draw, paint, sing, or play music or do something unique, go for it - it's cool to use these great outlets for letting your feelings out!
How to deal with body smells during puberty
Sweating is normal, especially if you're hot or nervous or anxious. It can actually be good for you, because it will help your body cool down if it needs to. If you're worried that your sweat is stinky, or that people might notice, there are some easy fixes:
Take a shower.
If you don't shower every day, puberty is probably the time to start. Washing well with soap and hot water can get rid of any smell that's built up on your skin from sweating. You might want to shower after exercising or playing sports, too. You'll smell better, look cleaner, and feel refreshed.
Try deodorant.
Deodorant comes in many forms: solid stick, roll-on, gel, spray, and so on. It's kind of like perfume, because it can help to cover up the smell of sweat. You usually apply it under your arms, where you sweat the most. It isn't always necessary for everyone to use deodorant, but it can help you feel confident if you think your sweat is a little smelly.
If you think that you sweat A LOT (big wet spots that show up on your shirt, etc.), you can try using antiperspirant.
This is a kind of deodorant that has a special ingredient to block some of your sweat. Many products these days have both deodorants and antiperspirants.
Don't use too much, or use it too often, though. Remember: sweating is a good thing. It keeps you cool and healthy.
How to deal with erections.
Erections are absolutely normal, and they happen to all guys. During puberty, they can happen for no reason at all - its just because your body is filled with puberty hormones. They can also happen if you're thinking about sex.
Keep your cool, because erections are temporary. They usually don't last more that a couple of minutes. If you remain calm, the erection will go away. Just breathe and try to clear your mind.
How to deal with discharges
Wet dreams are totally normal too. They happen to almost all guys, and they're just the way your body gets rid of extra semen.
Again, try not to feel embarrassed or guilty as you don't have any control over this. Sometimes it can be difficult and bothering, but try not to get freaked out by the changes going on down there. You're slowly changing from a boy to a man, and this means that your private parts are changing too.
What about pimples, acne, spots and zits?
One cannot tell how long this is going to be on your skin. Some kids with acne have clear skin after a year, while others keep having break-outs for many years. Below are a few things that can make them worse.
Irritation
Squeezing or digging at your zits, or getting rough when you wash your face, can make acne worse. Just leave it alone.
Greasy skin stuff
Oily sunscreen, oily make-up, and oily hair products or skin lotions can all make acne worse. Talk to your doctor or school nurse about which products you should use on your skin and hair.
Intense sunlight
Wear a hat, stay in the shade, or find a good, non-oily sunblock. Lots of sun can make acne worse. Stay cool.
Stress
Anxiety or stress can sometimes make acne worse. Learn to manage stress, and your complexion might look better!
Medicate
Drug stores carry a lot of products to help you fight acne. These range from creams that you rub on affected areas to pads that you use to wipe your face. In many cases, these products can help keep breakouts under control. Make sure to follow the directions on the package so you don't use too much.
See a professional
If your acne seems particularly bad, or drugstore products aren't working, you might ask a parent to make you an appointment with a dermatologist (a doctor who specializes in skin). He or she might prescribe pills or cream, or might have you come to the office for special skin treatments. Do NOT use drugs that your friends use. Ask a professional to confirm it for you.
Don't stress!
Remind yourself that you're not the only person going through this. If you look around your school or neighborhood, you'll probably see lots of other people your age with pimples. If they're coping, you can too. If you can, try to have a sense of humor about it. Each time you look into a mirror and see those pimples, you can just say: Hi pimples, are you hungry? (laugh it off).
Drug stores carry a lot of products to help you fight acne. These range from creams that you rub on affected areas to pads that you use to wipe your face. In many cases, these products can help keep breakouts under control. Make sure to follow the directions on the package so you don't use too much.
See a professional
If your acne seems particularly bad, or drugstore products aren't working, you might ask a parent to make you an appointment with a dermatologist (a doctor who specializes in skin). He or she might prescribe pills or cream, or might have you come to the office for special skin treatments. Do NOT use drugs that your friends use. Ask a professional to confirm it for you.
Don't stress!
Remind yourself that you're not the only person going through this. If you look around your school or neighborhood, you'll probably see lots of other people your age with pimples. If they're coping, you can too. If you can, try to have a sense of humor about it. Each time you look into a mirror and see those pimples, you can just say: Hi pimples, are you hungry? (laugh it off).
Thanks to modern medicine, we have more anti-acne options than ever. And here's something cool: less stress, by itself, can help make your skin look better too!
Testosterone.
Your testicles make a special chemical or hormone called testosterone. Testosterone makes you grow taller and change shape and causes your testicles to make sperm. Sperm comes out of your body in a sticky, white liquid called semen (C-men). During sex (wait till you are married and fully mature to look after a baby), sperm shoots out of the penis. It can join with a woman's egg to make a baby form.
Hungry and sleepy
You will feel more tired and hungry. Remember that puberty is a time of very fast growth. You need 9 or more hours of sleep each night and good food for healthy growth.
Your testicles make a special chemical or hormone called testosterone. Testosterone makes you grow taller and change shape and causes your testicles to make sperm. Sperm comes out of your body in a sticky, white liquid called semen (C-men). During sex (wait till you are married and fully mature to look after a baby), sperm shoots out of the penis. It can join with a woman's egg to make a baby form.
Hungry and sleepy
You will feel more tired and hungry. Remember that puberty is a time of very fast growth. You need 9 or more hours of sleep each night and good food for healthy growth.
Find an exercise that you can do on your own, biking or swimming. Get
involved in a team sport. Exercising makes your heart stronger and keeps
you healthy, and particularly it keeps your mind off the awkward
changes you are going through. It can also help you get a good night
sleep.
Erection
This is when a boy's penis hardens and lengthens. This usually happens when a boy has sexual thoughts, or as a result of physical stimulation. During puberty a boy will start to get erections more often, sometimes without any stimulation at all. This is very normal.
Most erections are not straight, and tend to either curve upwards or to either side. Many boys worry that their penis is smaller than other boys', but most penises are around the same size when erect. Do not attempt to compare yours with anyone's. We all have different bodies and its all OK.
Wet dream
Sometimes boys can remember having had a sexual dream. But often they just notice a wet patch on their nightclothes or on the sheets when they wake up.
Bullying.
Because we all change at different rates, it is possible that you may look smallest or tallest in your classroom when many others are growing so quickly. Your mates may start calling you names or say silly things about you. Do not worry too much. If you thing it is becoming too much to bear, speak to your teacher about it and they can do something about it. Remember not to do it to others if they do not like it.
Can I shave the hairs on my body?
Erection
This is when a boy's penis hardens and lengthens. This usually happens when a boy has sexual thoughts, or as a result of physical stimulation. During puberty a boy will start to get erections more often, sometimes without any stimulation at all. This is very normal.
Most erections are not straight, and tend to either curve upwards or to either side. Many boys worry that their penis is smaller than other boys', but most penises are around the same size when erect. Do not attempt to compare yours with anyone's. We all have different bodies and its all OK.
Wet dream
Sometimes boys can remember having had a sexual dream. But often they just notice a wet patch on their nightclothes or on the sheets when they wake up.
Bullying.
Because we all change at different rates, it is possible that you may look smallest or tallest in your classroom when many others are growing so quickly. Your mates may start calling you names or say silly things about you. Do not worry too much. If you thing it is becoming too much to bear, speak to your teacher about it and they can do something about it. Remember not to do it to others if they do not like it.
Can I shave the hairs on my body?
Yes, but sometimes shaving can cause a rash, particularly if you have not shaved before or has sensitive skin. Using shaving foam or gel before shaving will help reduce any irritation caused to the skin. You can also buy electric razors, which are used on dry skin and are less likely to cause cuts.
Very likely, you may not need to shave very often. But eventually you will probably need to shave every day as this hair starts to grow back thicker and more quickly.
Teaching Aaron Part 17. - Puberty
A lot of changes happen as you grow up, especially as you reach puberty (say: pyoo-bur-tee), the name for the time when your body begins to develop and change. Girls start developing breasts and get their periods — signs they are growing into women.
But how do boys know they are growing into men? Let's find out.
For a guy, there isn't just one event or sign that you're growing up. There are lots of them, including your body growing bigger, your voice changing, and hair sprouting everywhere. Most boys begin puberty between the ages of 9 and 14. But keep in mind that puberty starts when a boy's body is ready, and everyone grows at his own pace.
Here are some of the questions boys have.
Well, girls get a head start on puberty — and growing taller — because they usually start these changes between the ages of 8 and 13. Most boys, on the other hand, don't begin until between the ages of 9 and 14. So that's why girls are often taller than boys during that time.
Most boys may catch up — and even grow taller than girls. But it's also important to remember that your genetics play a role in height. So if your mom and dad are tall, you're more likely to be tall. And if your mom and dad are kind of short, you may be short, too. But nothing is definite.
You have to wait and see how it turns out, but you can also talk to a doctor if you're concerned. Remember — not every adult male is tall. Many men who are considered "short" have gone on to have careers in the movies, the military, and even professional basketball!
There aren't any exercises or magic pills to make you grow tall. But by being active and eating nutritious foods, you're helping your body grow up healthy, just the way it should.
When Will I Get Muscles?
During puberty, some boys might become worried about their bodies after seeing what some of their friends look like. For instance, lots of boys are concerned about their muscles. You may have already noticed some boys starting to get chest muscles (called the pectoralis muscles or pecs for short). Others may have broad shoulders (the deltoids, or delts for short). Other boys might still be slimmer and smaller.
Remember that puberty happens on its own schedule, so there's no rushing it if you're a little slower to develop muscles. Maybe you've considered lifting weights to help yourself get bigger. It's important to know that if you haven't quite reached puberty, this will tone your muscles, but it won't build up any muscles yet.
Eating nutritious food and being active (like riding your bike, swimming, and playing sports) will help you be a kid who's strong and fit.
In time, you'll reach puberty and you can start building your muscles, too. If you decide to try lifting weights, first let your doctor know you are interested. He or she may tell you to hold off on weightlifting for a bit or give you some advice on how to start. If your doctor discourages weightlifting, try some other ways to work out. Resistance bands, which are like big rubber bands, are a great way to help build your strength without putting too much strain on your muscles. If your doctor recommends weightlifting, here are some tips:
What's Up With Body Hair?
Body hair really gets going during puberty. Some boys will start to notice hair growing on their face around the chin, on the cheeks, and above the lip. Also, hair grows on the chest, the armpits, and even down there in the pubic region. Remember that there's nothing to worry about because hair is just one of the body's many ways of telling you that you are on your way to manhood.
You're growing hair in new places because hormones are telling your body that it is ready to change. Some of the hormones that trigger this new hair growth come from your adrenal glands. Other hormones come from your pituitary (say: puh-too-uh-ter-ee) gland (a pea-shaped gland located at the bottom of your brain). These pituitary hormones travel through your bloodstream and make your testicles ("balls") grow bigger and start to release another hormone called testosterone that also helps make your body start sprouting hair in your pubic area, under your arms, and on your face.
Boys don't really need to do anything about this new hair that's growing. Later, when you're a teen, and the hair gets thick enough on your face, you may want to talk with your parents about shaving.
Do I Smell?
You probably know what sweat is, but did you know that it's also called perspiration (say: pur-spuh-ray-shun)? How does it happen? Perspiration comes out of your skin through tiny holes called pores when your body gets hot.
Your body likes a temperature that is 98.6°F (37°C). If you get hotter than that, your body doesn't like it, so then your body sweats. The sweat comes out of the skin, then evaporates (this means it turns from a liquid to a vapor) into the air, which cools you down. Sometimes this sweat or wetness can be smelly and create body odor (sometimes called BO). During puberty, your hormones are working all the time, which explains why you sweat a lot and, well, sometimes smell.
What makes it smelly? The sweat is made almost completely of water, with tiny amounts of other chemicals like ammonia (say: uh-mow-nyuh), urea (say: yoo-ree-uh), salts, and sugar. (Ammonia and urea are left over when your body breaks down protein.) Sweat by itself is not really smelly, but when it comes in contact with the bacteria on your skin (which everyone has) it becomes smelly.
But how can you keep yourself from being all sweaty and smelly? First, you can shower or bathe regularly, especially after playing sports or sweating a lot, like on a hot day. You can also use deodorant under your arms.
Deodorant comes in many good-smelling scents or you can use one that's unscented. Some deodorants come in a white stick that you can twist up. Lots of people put this on after showering or bathing before they put their clothes on. Otherwise, the white stick deodorants can leave white marks on your clothes. You can also choose a deodorant that's clear instead of white.
You can decide to wear a deodorant (which helps stops the smell) or a deodorant/antiperspirant (which helps stops the smell and the sweat). If you find these products aren't working for you, talk with your doctor.
What About Erections?
An erection is what happens when your penis fills up with blood and hardens. The penis will become bigger and stand out from the body. Boys will start to notice erections occurring more often when they reach puberty. And they're perfectly normal.
An erection can happen at any time. You can get many in one day or none at all. It depends on your age, sexual maturity, level of activity, and even the amount of sleep you get.
An erection can happen even when you're sleeping. Sometimes you might wake up and your underwear or bed is wet. You may worry that this means you wet your bed like when you were little, but chances are you had a nocturnal emission, or "wet dream." A wet dream is when semen (the fluid containing sperm) is discharged from the penis while a boy is asleep. Semen is released through the urethra — the same tube that urine (pee) comes out of. This is called ejaculation.
Wet dreams occur when a boy's body starts making more testosterone. This change for boys is little bit like when a girl gets her period. It's a sign a boy is growing up and the body is preparing for the day in the future when a man might decide to be a father. Semen contains sperm, which can fertilize a woman's egg and begin the process that ends with a baby being born.
Although some boys might feel embarrassed or even guilty about having wet dreams, a boy can't help it. Almost all boys normally experience them at some time during puberty and even as adults.
But if you ever have pain or a problem with your penis or testicles, it is important that someone take you to the doctor.
You may think "Man, I don't want to go to the doctor for that!" But it's best to get problems like this checked out — and your doctor won't be embarrassed at all. It's a doctor's job to help you take care of your body — even that part.
But how do boys know they are growing into men? Let's find out.
For a guy, there isn't just one event or sign that you're growing up. There are lots of them, including your body growing bigger, your voice changing, and hair sprouting everywhere. Most boys begin puberty between the ages of 9 and 14. But keep in mind that puberty starts when a boy's body is ready, and everyone grows at his own pace.
Here are some of the questions boys have.
Why Are Girls Taller Than Me?
You might have noticed that some of the girls you know are taller than the boys. But you've probably noticed that out of the adults you know, most of the men are taller than the women. What's going on?Well, girls get a head start on puberty — and growing taller — because they usually start these changes between the ages of 8 and 13. Most boys, on the other hand, don't begin until between the ages of 9 and 14. So that's why girls are often taller than boys during that time.
Most boys may catch up — and even grow taller than girls. But it's also important to remember that your genetics play a role in height. So if your mom and dad are tall, you're more likely to be tall. And if your mom and dad are kind of short, you may be short, too. But nothing is definite.
You have to wait and see how it turns out, but you can also talk to a doctor if you're concerned. Remember — not every adult male is tall. Many men who are considered "short" have gone on to have careers in the movies, the military, and even professional basketball!
There aren't any exercises or magic pills to make you grow tall. But by being active and eating nutritious foods, you're helping your body grow up healthy, just the way it should.
When Will I Get Muscles?
During puberty, some boys might become worried about their bodies after seeing what some of their friends look like. For instance, lots of boys are concerned about their muscles. You may have already noticed some boys starting to get chest muscles (called the pectoralis muscles or pecs for short). Others may have broad shoulders (the deltoids, or delts for short). Other boys might still be slimmer and smaller.
Remember that puberty happens on its own schedule, so there's no rushing it if you're a little slower to develop muscles. Maybe you've considered lifting weights to help yourself get bigger. It's important to know that if you haven't quite reached puberty, this will tone your muscles, but it won't build up any muscles yet.
Eating nutritious food and being active (like riding your bike, swimming, and playing sports) will help you be a kid who's strong and fit.
In time, you'll reach puberty and you can start building your muscles, too. If you decide to try lifting weights, first let your doctor know you are interested. He or she may tell you to hold off on weightlifting for a bit or give you some advice on how to start. If your doctor discourages weightlifting, try some other ways to work out. Resistance bands, which are like big rubber bands, are a great way to help build your strength without putting too much strain on your muscles. If your doctor recommends weightlifting, here are some tips:
- Have a qualified coach or trainer supervise you. It's smart to have somebody show you the proper way to lift weights. This will help you gain strength and prevent injury.
- Use lighter weights. Your coach or trainer can recommend the right amount. Lifting heavy weights can cause injuries and then you'll have to wait until you recover before you can work out again.
- Do repetitions. It's better to lift a smaller amount of weight a bunch of times than to try to lift a heavy weight once or twice.
- Rest. Let your body have a break at least every other day.
What's Up With Body Hair?
Body hair really gets going during puberty. Some boys will start to notice hair growing on their face around the chin, on the cheeks, and above the lip. Also, hair grows on the chest, the armpits, and even down there in the pubic region. Remember that there's nothing to worry about because hair is just one of the body's many ways of telling you that you are on your way to manhood.
You're growing hair in new places because hormones are telling your body that it is ready to change. Some of the hormones that trigger this new hair growth come from your adrenal glands. Other hormones come from your pituitary (say: puh-too-uh-ter-ee) gland (a pea-shaped gland located at the bottom of your brain). These pituitary hormones travel through your bloodstream and make your testicles ("balls") grow bigger and start to release another hormone called testosterone that also helps make your body start sprouting hair in your pubic area, under your arms, and on your face.
Boys don't really need to do anything about this new hair that's growing. Later, when you're a teen, and the hair gets thick enough on your face, you may want to talk with your parents about shaving.
Do I Smell?
You probably know what sweat is, but did you know that it's also called perspiration (say: pur-spuh-ray-shun)? How does it happen? Perspiration comes out of your skin through tiny holes called pores when your body gets hot.
Your body likes a temperature that is 98.6°F (37°C). If you get hotter than that, your body doesn't like it, so then your body sweats. The sweat comes out of the skin, then evaporates (this means it turns from a liquid to a vapor) into the air, which cools you down. Sometimes this sweat or wetness can be smelly and create body odor (sometimes called BO). During puberty, your hormones are working all the time, which explains why you sweat a lot and, well, sometimes smell.
What makes it smelly? The sweat is made almost completely of water, with tiny amounts of other chemicals like ammonia (say: uh-mow-nyuh), urea (say: yoo-ree-uh), salts, and sugar. (Ammonia and urea are left over when your body breaks down protein.) Sweat by itself is not really smelly, but when it comes in contact with the bacteria on your skin (which everyone has) it becomes smelly.
But how can you keep yourself from being all sweaty and smelly? First, you can shower or bathe regularly, especially after playing sports or sweating a lot, like on a hot day. You can also use deodorant under your arms.
Deodorant comes in many good-smelling scents or you can use one that's unscented. Some deodorants come in a white stick that you can twist up. Lots of people put this on after showering or bathing before they put their clothes on. Otherwise, the white stick deodorants can leave white marks on your clothes. You can also choose a deodorant that's clear instead of white.
You can decide to wear a deodorant (which helps stops the smell) or a deodorant/antiperspirant (which helps stops the smell and the sweat). If you find these products aren't working for you, talk with your doctor.
What About Erections?
An erection is what happens when your penis fills up with blood and hardens. The penis will become bigger and stand out from the body. Boys will start to notice erections occurring more often when they reach puberty. And they're perfectly normal.
An erection can happen at any time. You can get many in one day or none at all. It depends on your age, sexual maturity, level of activity, and even the amount of sleep you get.
An erection can happen even when you're sleeping. Sometimes you might wake up and your underwear or bed is wet. You may worry that this means you wet your bed like when you were little, but chances are you had a nocturnal emission, or "wet dream." A wet dream is when semen (the fluid containing sperm) is discharged from the penis while a boy is asleep. Semen is released through the urethra — the same tube that urine (pee) comes out of. This is called ejaculation.
Wet dreams occur when a boy's body starts making more testosterone. This change for boys is little bit like when a girl gets her period. It's a sign a boy is growing up and the body is preparing for the day in the future when a man might decide to be a father. Semen contains sperm, which can fertilize a woman's egg and begin the process that ends with a baby being born.
Although some boys might feel embarrassed or even guilty about having wet dreams, a boy can't help it. Almost all boys normally experience them at some time during puberty and even as adults.
But if you ever have pain or a problem with your penis or testicles, it is important that someone take you to the doctor.
You may think "Man, I don't want to go to the doctor for that!" But it's best to get problems like this checked out — and your doctor won't be embarrassed at all. It's a doctor's job to help you take care of your body — even that part.
Teaching Aaron Part 16. - If You Dont Know What You Are Doing... Dont Do It
Fishing... You Must Learn!
Well son... today we are going to catch some really big fish yeah?
Right dad.... are we going to eat them?
No son... we will put them back again at the end of the day
So why are we catching them then?
Sport... enjoyment... pleasure... and a bit of fun together
Oh great...
Right... check list... rods, tackle, bait, seats, tent, spindles, drinks and snacks, nets, catch nets... all here... so son... first of all put that maggot on that hook like i showed you
Erm... maggot? me? touch?... you serious?
Ok i will do that... there we go... now cast it out!
Son?
What?
You were supposed to hold on to the rod when you cast it...
Oh
Never mind... it will come back to the shore in a few hours... i guess
So we now have the rods cast.. the bait is in waiting for a big fish to take a bite....
Then what?
We reel it in of course
Ok
a few hours pass and then the rod moves... the spindle starts letting out the line....
We got one! ooo! ooo! ooo! we have one!... dad jumps for joy
Ok! ok! ok! what do i do?
Right take the rod
Ok
And give it a smart tug and reel that baby in!
... Son....
What dad?
I said gentle... you are supposed to leave the fishes face still attached to the rest of its body....
Oh dear...
...And you now have to climb that tree up there and get our hook and line back... and whilst you are at it... see if you can get that fish head out of that birds nest also
Ok dad...
Dad?
What now?
Did you see that fish's face when it left the water? That sort of fixed wild stare as it all of a sudden left the reeds and flew at 100mph to the clouds?
Eels are the best though... you catch an eel and you are in for a nice battle of sweat and fear.... the snakes of the fresh water they can put up a fight and a half.... especially when one gets launched across the trees behind you and ends up on someones lap in the quarry next door....
Son... we really need to practice that sharp tug of yours....
The best part is the catapult... for spreading the bait out around you to lure the fish in.... in capable hands... it could be the difference between plenty of catch and nothing at all... but make sure your son won't have a chance at using it...
... i think it has something to do with the 50 maggots that ended up on the other side of the lake in that womans hair.... it wasn't her fault she let out that obscenity... she only went along with her husband to spend the day in the sunshine reading Mills and Boon...
Then all of a sudden it rained maggots all over her beehive hair do... the husband fell in the lake when she grabbed him screaming... the kids up ended on their deck chairs throwing their rice crispies over their faces... and out of hysterics that fisherman next to him who was in stiff competition is now laughing so hard.... the fish are on our side of the lake...
Son...
What? it wasn't my fault! i could have sworn my aim was much lower!
Don't worry son... you did good... just put the catapult down and read your comic.. yeah?
Teaching Aaron Part 15. Always Wear A Bike Helmet
You Must Learn!.....
Demands your father! Learn to ride a bike!....
Oh shit! you think... if i pretend to still be asleep he may go away... after all it is still 5 am....
Your father has been up all night pacing the floor boards bare, where there used to be carpet... no lays building foundations...
The hours tick tock away like clunks of steal workers mouldings....
Ok long enough... he has slept long enough! says your eager dad... but its only been 20 minuets?! your mother protests.... and its still dark outside... wait until morning!
Morning arrives... still a zombie you get up out of bed... your father doing press ups and chin ups in the landing... getting the energetic motivation for a long hard day's work... teaching you the perils of riding a bike...
only last weekend he bought home this monstrosity of a bike... handle bars like bull horns... pedals which have your shins marked for death... scabs ahoy!
and that greasy chain.... lubricated up with extra virgin olive oil...
the breaks turned around (we are in England after all)
ok... on with our coat lets go! he shouts... dad... I am still in my PJ's!
and my toothpaste is foaming up....
after breakfast... your dad is now a nervous wreck.... he's chewed his finger nails up to his shoulders and the carpet is a state... mum ain't happy... Ok son... he says... placing his hand on your shoulder... if you should get injured... will you still love me?
erm... injured?... what is he doing to me mummy?
now now dear... it is going to be fun...
you look worried... she looks worried... the moths and cobwebs better come off that old World War Two First Aid Kit.... get the shrapnel removing pliers ready...
once you ate a hardy breakfast and put on your coat... dad walks you to your bike... in the garden shed....
it looks scary... where are the stabilizers dad?
Nope son... no stabilizers today... its the real thing!
Fuck... i am going to bed again.... ahhhh.... no you don't son... here we go... take a seat on that saddle and tell me if you like it...
...Dad?.... What?.... There is no saddle.... Oh yeah... click click... there we are...
you sit down... man that seat is made out of concrete and iron strengthening rods... my arse is killing me!
It gets more comfy when you get used to it....
you look out at the other kids cycling about... standing up as they peddle.... yeah right dad... what ever you say!
Ok here goes... step one.... always look where you are going... and keep peddling... steer with that handle bar and break with that lever... adjust gears with that lever and look both ways when you cross the road....
...And a partridge in a pear tree... man... do i need qualifications to learn this? a degree maybe handy
so you get the basics out of the way... and then you go to the test track... a strip of road leading to the shops....
no cars... no people... hence why the moon is still out... and only the crows to laugh at you...
One... Two... Three your dad holds onto the saddle whilst you peddle and without knowing it... you smile... wow dad! i am cycling! man... dad? you can run pretty fast can't you? dad?...... er dad?
you look behind... he is now holding a fence post twenty miles behind you... he looks up and cringes... what they don't tell you when you learn to ride a bike... where ever your head turns... your hands follow...
Crash! Bang! Wallop!
Sod That! You tried to kill me you bastard! you scream at your dad... just as he catches up with you playing twister with a hunk of metal pipes and spinning wheels....
Ok... take two.... Bollocks! you scream... i wanna see my 5th birthday!
ok... after an ice cream... which he had hidden in the left breast pocket... you get back on the bike... handle bars fixed and saddle back on...
again... and again... and again... now you don't need dad to run after you anymore... you are the Tour De France Yellow Jersey Wearer!
... well for twenty meters anyway before you realize... you are only going faster and faster and that wall isn't made of marshmallow
Dad screams after you... break! break! Oh God! Break!
survival takes over... cover your eyes... ok at 5 you managed to ride no handed... just then the bike steers towards that shop door way
A woman comes out with the news stand sign.... opening up for business
"Morning!"...... you say as you fly right past her and into the shop through the open door....
Crash! Bang! Wallop!
Twister with a baked bean can pyramid and lots of cat food metal piping spinning wheels and a check out lady with last nights newspapers all over the floor....
Dad?... What son?... gasp! gasp!.... I need a helmet!
Oh shit! you think... if i pretend to still be asleep he may go away... after all it is still 5 am....
Your father has been up all night pacing the floor boards bare, where there used to be carpet... no lays building foundations...
The hours tick tock away like clunks of steal workers mouldings....
Ok long enough... he has slept long enough! says your eager dad... but its only been 20 minuets?! your mother protests.... and its still dark outside... wait until morning!
Morning arrives... still a zombie you get up out of bed... your father doing press ups and chin ups in the landing... getting the energetic motivation for a long hard day's work... teaching you the perils of riding a bike...
only last weekend he bought home this monstrosity of a bike... handle bars like bull horns... pedals which have your shins marked for death... scabs ahoy!
and that greasy chain.... lubricated up with extra virgin olive oil...
the breaks turned around (we are in England after all)
ok... on with our coat lets go! he shouts... dad... I am still in my PJ's!
and my toothpaste is foaming up....
after breakfast... your dad is now a nervous wreck.... he's chewed his finger nails up to his shoulders and the carpet is a state... mum ain't happy... Ok son... he says... placing his hand on your shoulder... if you should get injured... will you still love me?
erm... injured?... what is he doing to me mummy?
now now dear... it is going to be fun...
you look worried... she looks worried... the moths and cobwebs better come off that old World War Two First Aid Kit.... get the shrapnel removing pliers ready...
once you ate a hardy breakfast and put on your coat... dad walks you to your bike... in the garden shed....
it looks scary... where are the stabilizers dad?
Nope son... no stabilizers today... its the real thing!
Fuck... i am going to bed again.... ahhhh.... no you don't son... here we go... take a seat on that saddle and tell me if you like it...
...Dad?.... What?.... There is no saddle.... Oh yeah... click click... there we are...
you sit down... man that seat is made out of concrete and iron strengthening rods... my arse is killing me!
It gets more comfy when you get used to it....
you look out at the other kids cycling about... standing up as they peddle.... yeah right dad... what ever you say!
Ok here goes... step one.... always look where you are going... and keep peddling... steer with that handle bar and break with that lever... adjust gears with that lever and look both ways when you cross the road....
...And a partridge in a pear tree... man... do i need qualifications to learn this? a degree maybe handy
so you get the basics out of the way... and then you go to the test track... a strip of road leading to the shops....
no cars... no people... hence why the moon is still out... and only the crows to laugh at you...
One... Two... Three your dad holds onto the saddle whilst you peddle and without knowing it... you smile... wow dad! i am cycling! man... dad? you can run pretty fast can't you? dad?...... er dad?
you look behind... he is now holding a fence post twenty miles behind you... he looks up and cringes... what they don't tell you when you learn to ride a bike... where ever your head turns... your hands follow...
Crash! Bang! Wallop!
Sod That! You tried to kill me you bastard! you scream at your dad... just as he catches up with you playing twister with a hunk of metal pipes and spinning wheels....
Ok... take two.... Bollocks! you scream... i wanna see my 5th birthday!
ok... after an ice cream... which he had hidden in the left breast pocket... you get back on the bike... handle bars fixed and saddle back on...
again... and again... and again... now you don't need dad to run after you anymore... you are the Tour De France Yellow Jersey Wearer!
... well for twenty meters anyway before you realize... you are only going faster and faster and that wall isn't made of marshmallow
Dad screams after you... break! break! Oh God! Break!
survival takes over... cover your eyes... ok at 5 you managed to ride no handed... just then the bike steers towards that shop door way
A woman comes out with the news stand sign.... opening up for business
"Morning!"...... you say as you fly right past her and into the shop through the open door....
Crash! Bang! Wallop!
Twister with a baked bean can pyramid and lots of cat food metal piping spinning wheels and a check out lady with last nights newspapers all over the floor....
Dad?... What son?... gasp! gasp!.... I need a helmet!
Teaching Aaron Part 14. - Dont Play With Your Food
This tale proves that crime does pay, if you're fishing for elective surgery to go along with your stolen goods.
A twenty four years old supermarket shoplifter stuffed a pair of live lobsters in his pants and sprinted for the door, but he never had a chance. The violated crustaceans brought the thief to his knees in front of startled cashiers and shoppers when they fastened their powerful claws around his delicate parts.
Doctors were able to remove the animals with pliers. They said the thief would fully recover - except for one small detail. "It was a do it yourself Vasectomy." this man's darling supermarket exploits make him one of the most stupid lobster thieves alive today.
The supermarket manager declined to press charges, saying the culprit had already "Gone through enough pain to learn his lesson."
Teaching Aaron Part 13. - Always Follow Safety Rules
This is apparently a true story….
This accident report needs an introduction so you won’t be lost at the beginning. This man was in an accident at work, so he filled out an insurance claim. The insurance company contacted him and asked for more information. This was his letter to the insurance company…..
“I am writing in response to your request for additional information for block number 3 of the accident reporting form. I put ‘poor planning’ as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully, so I trust the following details will be sufficient.”
“I am an amateur radio operator and on the day of the accident, I was working alone on the top section of my new eighty foot tower. When I had completed my work I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower, bought up about three hundred pounds of tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry the now unneeded tools and material down by hand, I decided to lower the items down in a small barrel by using a pulley attached to the gin pole at the top of the tower.
Securing the rope at the ground level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded the tools and material into the barrel. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the three hundred pounds of tools and materials that are quiet expensive.
You will note in block number 11 of the accident reporting form that I only weigh 155 pounds. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the grounds so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say I proceeded at a rather rapid rate of speed up the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the forty foot level, I met the barrel coming down. This explained the broken collar bone and fractured skull.
Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until my fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley system. Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold onto the rope in spite of my pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of tools hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel.
Devoid of the weight of the tools, the barrel now weighed approximately 20 pounds. I refer you again to my weight in block number 11 of the claim form. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the forty foot level, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles and dislocated knee, the lacerations of my legs and lower body and the split lip.
The encounter with the barrel slowed me down enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of tools and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked and a puncture wound to my groin from a precariously placed ring spanner.
I am sorry to report, however that as I lay there on the tools in pain, unable to stand and watching the empty barrel hit the pulley eighty feet above me, I again lost my presence of mind and
I let go of the rope….”
This accident report needs an introduction so you won’t be lost at the beginning. This man was in an accident at work, so he filled out an insurance claim. The insurance company contacted him and asked for more information. This was his letter to the insurance company…..
“I am writing in response to your request for additional information for block number 3 of the accident reporting form. I put ‘poor planning’ as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully, so I trust the following details will be sufficient.”
“I am an amateur radio operator and on the day of the accident, I was working alone on the top section of my new eighty foot tower. When I had completed my work I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower, bought up about three hundred pounds of tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry the now unneeded tools and material down by hand, I decided to lower the items down in a small barrel by using a pulley attached to the gin pole at the top of the tower.
Securing the rope at the ground level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded the tools and material into the barrel. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the three hundred pounds of tools and materials that are quiet expensive.
You will note in block number 11 of the accident reporting form that I only weigh 155 pounds. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the grounds so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say I proceeded at a rather rapid rate of speed up the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the forty foot level, I met the barrel coming down. This explained the broken collar bone and fractured skull.
Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until my fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley system. Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold onto the rope in spite of my pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of tools hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel.
Devoid of the weight of the tools, the barrel now weighed approximately 20 pounds. I refer you again to my weight in block number 11 of the claim form. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the forty foot level, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles and dislocated knee, the lacerations of my legs and lower body and the split lip.
The encounter with the barrel slowed me down enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of tools and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked and a puncture wound to my groin from a precariously placed ring spanner.
I am sorry to report, however that as I lay there on the tools in pain, unable to stand and watching the empty barrel hit the pulley eighty feet above me, I again lost my presence of mind and
I let go of the rope….”
Teaching Aaron Part 12. - Stupidity Gets You Nowhere
Larry Walters of Los Angeles states “I have fulfilled my twenty years dream.” Larry, a former truck driver for a company that makes TV commercials tells his true story. “I am staying on the ground. I’ve proved the thing works.”
Larry’s boyhood dream was to fly. But fate conspired to keep him from his dream. He joined the US Air Force, but his poor eyesight disqualified him from pilot status. After he was discharged from the US Forces he started truck driving for a TV commercial company. After years of driving and a well earned retirement, Larry sat in his backyard watching jets fly overhead. He hatched his weather balloon scheme while sitting outdoors in his extremely comfortable sears lawn chair. He purchased forty five weather balloons from an Army Navy surplus store, tied then to his lawn chair (Dubbed – Inspiration 1) and filled the four foot diameter balloons with helium. Then he strapped himself into his lawn chair with some sandwiches, Miller Lite Beer, and a pellet gun.
Larry’s plan was to sever the anchor and lazily float up to a height of about thirty feet above his backyard, where he would enjoy a few hours of flight before coming back down. He figured he would pop a few brews and then pop a few of the forty five weather balloons when it was time to descend, and gradually lose altitude. But things didn’t work out quiet as Larry planned.
When his friends cut the cord anchoring the lawn chair to his jeep, he did not float lazily up to the thirty feet. Instead, he streaked into the LA sky as if shot from a cannon, pulled by a lift of forty five balloons holding thirty three cubic feet of helium each. He didn’t level off at a hundred feet, nor did he level off at sixteen thousand feet.
At that height he felt he couldn’t risk shooting any of the balloons, lest he unbalance the load and really find himself in trouble. So he stayed there, drifting with his beer and sandwiches for several hours while he considered his options. At one point he crossed the primary approach corridor of LA’s LAX airspace, and Delta and Trans World airline pilots radioed in incredulous reports of a strange sight.
Eventually he gathered the nerve to shoot a few balloons, and slowly descended through the night sky. Hanging tethers tangled and caught in a power line, blacking out a Long Beach neighbourhood for twenty minuets. Larry climbed to safety, where he was arrested by waiting members of the LAPD. As he was led away in handcuffs, a reporter dispatched to cover the daring rescue asked him why he done it.
Larry replied nonchalantly, “A man can’t just sit around.” Larry’s efforts won him a $1,500 FAA fine, a prize from Bonehead club of Dallas, Texas and the altitude record for manned gas filled clustered balloon flight!
God Bless America
You are the United States of America
You think you are shit hot, but you are just actors from Hollywood. You are war mongering, a worlds policeman.. sticking your nose into other peoples problems. Yet you are one of the youngest nations on the planet and your toys are making you bored. Loser of many wars, glory is always demanded.. Forever at war, forever telling others to not do what you do yourselves. Spending money that you don't have and demanding money that is not owed to you. Non forgetter of history, Clutching to a hope.. believeing in things that don't exist. Oil is what drives you, but being realistic drives you further away.
You gave us microsoft, you gave us Arnold Schwartzenegger.. but you don't take advice that engine sizes come smaller than 1.5 liter four cyclinder feul injected engines... but at least you gave us something that the world really needed... Disney Land and fat tourists. Bigger is better... but is it worth it?.. Capatalistic.. that leads to financial ruin, hater of communism.. that brings stability. Nation of sunshine, tornadoes, earthquakes, moutains, crime and greed.. one day.. you will learn from the best.. but that day will not come as long as you fail to realize China and Saudi Arabia have you over a barrel.
Oil is national security.. yet.. oil will one day run out and all you will be left with is debt, homelessness, hunger, famine, anarchy and a cry for help to the Russians... You are the nation of power... that will soon run dry. You are... The USA.. Nation of invaders and children across the pond from the grandfathers and invaders of past, present and the future. God bless America.
You think you are shit hot, but you are just actors from Hollywood. You are war mongering, a worlds policeman.. sticking your nose into other peoples problems. Yet you are one of the youngest nations on the planet and your toys are making you bored. Loser of many wars, glory is always demanded.. Forever at war, forever telling others to not do what you do yourselves. Spending money that you don't have and demanding money that is not owed to you. Non forgetter of history, Clutching to a hope.. believeing in things that don't exist. Oil is what drives you, but being realistic drives you further away.
You gave us microsoft, you gave us Arnold Schwartzenegger.. but you don't take advice that engine sizes come smaller than 1.5 liter four cyclinder feul injected engines... but at least you gave us something that the world really needed... Disney Land and fat tourists. Bigger is better... but is it worth it?.. Capatalistic.. that leads to financial ruin, hater of communism.. that brings stability. Nation of sunshine, tornadoes, earthquakes, moutains, crime and greed.. one day.. you will learn from the best.. but that day will not come as long as you fail to realize China and Saudi Arabia have you over a barrel.
Oil is national security.. yet.. oil will one day run out and all you will be left with is debt, homelessness, hunger, famine, anarchy and a cry for help to the Russians... You are the nation of power... that will soon run dry. You are... The USA.. Nation of invaders and children across the pond from the grandfathers and invaders of past, present and the future. God bless America.
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