Don't damn me
When I speak a piece of my mind
'Cause silence isn't golden
When I'm holding it inside
'Cause I've been where I have been
An I've seen what I have seen
I put the pen to the paper
'Cause it's all a part of me
Be it a song or a casual conversation
To hold my tongue speaks
Of quiet reservations
Your words once heard
They can place you in a faction
My words may disturb
But at least there's a reaction
Sometimes I want to kill
Sometimes I want to die
Sometimes I want to destroy
Sometimes I want to cry
Sometimes I could get even
Sometimes I could give up
Sometimes I could give
Sometimes I never give a fuck
It's only for a while
I hope you understand
I never wanted this to happen
Didn't want to be a man
So I hid inside my world
I took what I could find
I cried when I was lonely
I fell down when I was blind
But don't damn me when I speak
A piece of my mind
'Cause silence isn't golden
When I'm holding it inside
'Cause I've been where I have been
An I've seen what I have seen
I put the pen to the paper
'Cause it's all a part of me
How can I ever satisfy you
An how can I ever make you see
That, deep inside we're all somebody
An it don't matter who you want to be
But now I gotta smile I hope you comprehend
For this man can say it happened
'Cause this child has been condemned
So I stepped into your world
I kicked you in the mind
An I'm the only witness
To the nature of my crime
But look at what we've done
To the innocent and young
Whoa listen to who's talking
'Cause we're not the only ones
The trash collected by the eyes
And dumped into the brain
Said it tears into our conscious thoughts
You tell me who's to blame
I know you don't want to hear me crying
An I know you don't want to hear me deny
That your satisfaction lies in your illusions
But your delusions are yours an not mine
We take for granted that we know the whole story
We judge a book by it's cover
And read what we want
Between selected lines
Don't hail me
An don't idolize the ink
Or I've failed in my attentions
Can you find the missing link
Your only validation is in living your own life
Vicarious existence is a fucking waste of time
So I send this song to the offended
I said what I meant and I've never pretended
As so many others do intending just to please
If I damned your point of view
Could you turn the other cheek
Don't damn me when I speak a piece a mind
'Cause silence isn't golden
When I'm holding it inside
I've been where I have been
An I've seen what I have seen
Put the pen to the paper
'Cause it's all a part of me
Don't damn me
I said don't damn me
I said don't hail me
Ah, don't damn me
My Life And Death
Tuesday, 16 October 2012
Supernaut - Black Sabbath
I want to reach out
And touch the sky
I want to touch the sun
But I don't need to die
I'm gonna climb up
On the mountains of the moon
And find a distant man
A waving his spoon
I've crossed the ocean, turned everything
I found the crossing near a golden rainbow's end
I've been through magic and defied reality
I've lived a thousand years and it never bothered me
Got no religion
Don't need no friends
Got all I want
And I don't need to pretend
Don't try to reach me
'Cause I'd tear up your mind
I've seen the future
And I've left it behind
And touch the sky
I want to touch the sun
But I don't need to die
I'm gonna climb up
On the mountains of the moon
And find a distant man
A waving his spoon
I've crossed the ocean, turned everything
I found the crossing near a golden rainbow's end
I've been through magic and defied reality
I've lived a thousand years and it never bothered me
Got no religion
Don't need no friends
Got all I want
And I don't need to pretend
Don't try to reach me
'Cause I'd tear up your mind
I've seen the future
And I've left it behind
Small Town Boy - Bronski Beat
You leave in the morning
With everything you own
In a little black case
Alone on a platform
The wind and the rain
On a sad and lonely face
Mother will never understand
Why you had to leave
But the answers you seek
Will never be found at home
The love that you need
Will never be found at home
Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away.
Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away.
Pushed around and kicked around
Always a lonely boy
You were the one
That they'd talk about around town
As they put you down
And as hard as they would try
They'd hurt to make you cry
But you never cried to them
Just to your soul
No you never cried to them
Just to your soul
Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away.
Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away.
Cry , boy, cry...
You leave in the morning
With everything you own
In a little black case
Alone on a platform
The wind and the rain
On a sad and lonely face
Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away.
Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away.
With everything you own
In a little black case
Alone on a platform
The wind and the rain
On a sad and lonely face
Mother will never understand
Why you had to leave
But the answers you seek
Will never be found at home
The love that you need
Will never be found at home
Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away.
Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away.
Pushed around and kicked around
Always a lonely boy
You were the one
That they'd talk about around town
As they put you down
And as hard as they would try
They'd hurt to make you cry
But you never cried to them
Just to your soul
No you never cried to them
Just to your soul
Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away.
Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away.
Cry , boy, cry...
You leave in the morning
With everything you own
In a little black case
Alone on a platform
The wind and the rain
On a sad and lonely face
Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away.
Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away.
Cry and No one On Earth - System F and Above & Beyond
(Cry)
Never ever, felt this way about...
The things you do to me
Never ever knew, couldn't do without
You and me
But I didn't read between your lines
And I didn't know there was no one like you to find
Why didn't I see
This before
Why didn't I come
Back for more
Now I do feel
The pain inside
Now I have seen
All I can do is hide and..
Cry...
All I can do is
Cry
Cry...
All I can do is
Cry
Like this
Cry...
All I can do is
Cry
Like this
Maybe one day I will realize
That you're gone
Maybe now I can't see the world apply
Has become
The beginning of a
Lonely night
The beginning of a love
'Cause these words linger in my mind
Why didn't I see
This before
Why didnt I come
Back for more
Now, I do feel
The pain inside
Now, I have seen
All I can do is hide and..
Cry...
All I can do is
Cry
Like this.....
(No One On Earth)
Down through the dark trees
You came to save me
You're so ugly and you're so beautiful
You're like no one on Earth could be
Take me home
Let me be the one
All of my life I've been waiting
For you
I wanna be the one that you take home
Let me be the one
'Cause I'm so lonely
Take me home
With you
No one on Earth knows me like you do
Take me home
In time you'll love me like one of your own
So come on...
Take me home
With you
No one on Earth knows me like you do
Take me home
In time you'll love me like one of your own
So come on...
Take, take me home
With you
No one on Earth knows me like you do
La la la la....I'm going home
Never ever, felt this way about...
The things you do to me
Never ever knew, couldn't do without
You and me
But I didn't read between your lines
And I didn't know there was no one like you to find
Why didn't I see
This before
Why didn't I come
Back for more
Now I do feel
The pain inside
Now I have seen
All I can do is hide and..
Cry...
All I can do is
Cry
Cry...
All I can do is
Cry
Like this
Cry...
All I can do is
Cry
Like this
Maybe one day I will realize
That you're gone
Maybe now I can't see the world apply
Has become
The beginning of a
Lonely night
The beginning of a love
'Cause these words linger in my mind
Why didn't I see
This before
Why didnt I come
Back for more
Now, I do feel
The pain inside
Now, I have seen
All I can do is hide and..
Cry...
All I can do is
Cry
Like this.....
(No One On Earth)
Down through the dark trees
You came to save me
You're so ugly and you're so beautiful
You're like no one on Earth could be
Take me home
Let me be the one
All of my life I've been waiting
For you
I wanna be the one that you take home
Let me be the one
'Cause I'm so lonely
Take me home
With you
No one on Earth knows me like you do
Take me home
In time you'll love me like one of your own
So come on...
Take me home
With you
No one on Earth knows me like you do
Take me home
In time you'll love me like one of your own
So come on...
Take, take me home
With you
No one on Earth knows me like you do
La la la la....I'm going home
Hand Of Doom - Black Sabbath
What you gonna do? Time's caught up with you
Now you wait your turn, you know there's no return
Take your written rules, you join the other fools
Turn to something new, now it's killing you
First it was the bomb, Vietnam napalm
Disillusioning, you push the needle in
From life you escape, reality's that way
Colours in your mind, satisfy in time
Oh you, you know you must be blind
To do something like this,
To take the sleep that you don't know
You're giving Death a kiss
Oh little fool now
Your mind is full of pleasure, your body's looking ill
To you it's shallow leisure, so drop the acid pill
Don't stop to think now
You're having a good time baby, but that won't last
Your mind's all full of things, you're living too fast
Go out enjoy yourself, don't bottle it in
You need someone to help you stick the needle in, yeah
Now you know the scene, your skin starts turning green
Your eyes no longer see, life's reality
Push the needle in, face death's sickly grin
Holes are in your skin, caused by deadly pin
Head starts spinning round, you fall down to the ground
Feel your body heave, Death's hands starts to weave
It's too late to turn, you don't want to learn
Price of life too high, now you're gonna die!
Now you wait your turn, you know there's no return
Take your written rules, you join the other fools
Turn to something new, now it's killing you
First it was the bomb, Vietnam napalm
Disillusioning, you push the needle in
From life you escape, reality's that way
Colours in your mind, satisfy in time
Oh you, you know you must be blind
To do something like this,
To take the sleep that you don't know
You're giving Death a kiss
Oh little fool now
Your mind is full of pleasure, your body's looking ill
To you it's shallow leisure, so drop the acid pill
Don't stop to think now
You're having a good time baby, but that won't last
Your mind's all full of things, you're living too fast
Go out enjoy yourself, don't bottle it in
You need someone to help you stick the needle in, yeah
Now you know the scene, your skin starts turning green
Your eyes no longer see, life's reality
Push the needle in, face death's sickly grin
Holes are in your skin, caused by deadly pin
Head starts spinning round, you fall down to the ground
Feel your body heave, Death's hands starts to weave
It's too late to turn, you don't want to learn
Price of life too high, now you're gonna die!
Thursday, 11 October 2012
The Autopsy The Funeral
The funeral of Aaron took place on 22nd June 2002.
His autopsy revealed that he died of internal bleeding caused my the impact of the car with the telegraph pole. Although Aaron wore his seatbelt in the collision, the impact was too great on his side of the car to escape life threatening injuries. Aaron died 17 mins after impact. There were no other injuries to suspect foul play or unlawful death. Verdict, Accidental Death.
The funeral was held in a cemetery in ******** **** ****. He was cremated. In attendance was his family and a few school Friends and teachers. I did not attend as i was forbidden to be there on the mothers wishes. I did however sit outside and wait for them to leave before going in and saying goodbye in my own time. During the service the following was included.
"My little man, down what centuries of light did you travel to reach us here, your stay so short-lived;
In the twinkling of an eye you were moving on, bearing our name and a splinter of the human cross we suffer; flashed upon us like a beacon, we wait in darkness for that light to come round, knowing at heart you shine forever for us."
*****
Goodbye My Child
Unfriendly friendly universe,
I pack your stars into my purse,
And bid you, bid you so farewell.
That I can leave you, quite go out,
Go out, go out beyond all doubt,
My father says, is the miracle.
You are so great, and I so small:
I am nothing, you are all:
Being nothing, I can take this way.
Oh I need neither rise nor fall,
For when I do not move at all
I shall be out of all your day.
It's said some memory will remain
In the other place, grass in the rain,
Light on the land, sun on the sea,
A flitting grace, a phantom face,
But the world is out. There is no place
Where it and its ghost can ever be.
Father, father, I dread this air
Blown from the for side of despair,
The cold cold corner. What house, what hold,
What hand is there? I look and see
Nothing-filled eternity,
And the great round world grows weak and old.
Hold my hand, oh hold it fast -
I am changing! - until at last
My hand in yours no more will change,
Though yours change on. You here, I there,
So hand in hand, twin-leafed despair -
I did not know death was so strange.
Edwin Muir
*****
Angels
When God calls little children to dwell with Him above,
We mortals sometime question the wisdom of His love.
For no heartache compares with the death of one small child
Who does so much to make our world, seem wonderful and mild
Perhaps God tires of calling the aged to his fold,
So He picks a rosebud, before it can grow old.
God knows how much we need them, and so He takes but few
To make the land of Heaven more beautiful to view.
Believing this is difficult still somehow we must try,
The saddest word mankind knows will always be "Goodbye."
So when a little child departs, we who are left behind
Must realise God loves children, Angels are hard to find.
*****
The Death Of Someone We Love
The death of someone we love and care about
Is like the death of part of us.
No one else will ever call out from within us
Quite the same responses, the same feelings or actions or ideas.
Their death is an ending of one part of a story.
Lord as we look back over Aaron's life
We ask what we have received, what we can appropriate
And continue on in our own lives and what must be laid to rest.
Our love for his/her reminds us that our sharing
In one another's lives brings both support and pain.
Our being parted from him/her reminds us of our own mortality
And that your love is enduring.
We thank you that our love for Aaron draws us together
And gives us a new appreciation of one another
And of the beauty and fragility of relationships
Which mirror your grace and goodness to us.
Lord, time's tide may wash his/her footprints from the shore
But not our love for him/her nor the influence of his/her life upon our own
Nor the ways in which they will ever be a sign for us
Of those things which really matter-which are eternal.
Hear this prayer for your love's sake.
Amen.
*****
Then a song was played
Is it a kind of dream,
Floating out on the tide,
Following the river of death downstream?
Oh, is it a dream?
There's a fog along the horizon,
A strange glow in the sky,
And nobody seems to know where you go,
And what does it mean?
Oh, is it a dream?
Bright eyes,
Burning like fire.
Bright eyes,
How can you close and fail?
How can the light that burned so brightly
Suddenly burn so pale?
Bright eyes.
Is it a kind of shadow,
Reaching into the night,
Wandering over the hills unseen,
Or is it a dream?
There's a high wind in the trees,
A cold sound in the air,
And nobody ever knows when you go,
And where do you start,
Oh, into the dark.
Bright eyes,
burning like fire.
Bright eyes,
how can you close and fail?
How can the light that burned so brightly
Suddenly burn so pale?
Bright eyes.
Bright eyes,
burning like fire.
Bright eyes,
how can you close and fail?
How can the light that burned so brightly
Suddenly burn so pale?
Bright eyes.
Then the speeches were said from family and friends.. I do not wish to share these speeches. I am sorry.
This is the cemetery
His grave is marked with the following...
Gone but never forgotten, So young yet so brave.
Aaron ********
Born 24th November 1989
Died 7th June 2002
May he R I P
His autopsy revealed that he died of internal bleeding caused my the impact of the car with the telegraph pole. Although Aaron wore his seatbelt in the collision, the impact was too great on his side of the car to escape life threatening injuries. Aaron died 17 mins after impact. There were no other injuries to suspect foul play or unlawful death. Verdict, Accidental Death.
The funeral was held in a cemetery in ******** **** ****. He was cremated. In attendance was his family and a few school Friends and teachers. I did not attend as i was forbidden to be there on the mothers wishes. I did however sit outside and wait for them to leave before going in and saying goodbye in my own time. During the service the following was included.
"My little man, down what centuries of light did you travel to reach us here, your stay so short-lived;
In the twinkling of an eye you were moving on, bearing our name and a splinter of the human cross we suffer; flashed upon us like a beacon, we wait in darkness for that light to come round, knowing at heart you shine forever for us."
*****
Goodbye My Child
Unfriendly friendly universe,
I pack your stars into my purse,
And bid you, bid you so farewell.
That I can leave you, quite go out,
Go out, go out beyond all doubt,
My father says, is the miracle.
You are so great, and I so small:
I am nothing, you are all:
Being nothing, I can take this way.
Oh I need neither rise nor fall,
For when I do not move at all
I shall be out of all your day.
It's said some memory will remain
In the other place, grass in the rain,
Light on the land, sun on the sea,
A flitting grace, a phantom face,
But the world is out. There is no place
Where it and its ghost can ever be.
Father, father, I dread this air
Blown from the for side of despair,
The cold cold corner. What house, what hold,
What hand is there? I look and see
Nothing-filled eternity,
And the great round world grows weak and old.
Hold my hand, oh hold it fast -
I am changing! - until at last
My hand in yours no more will change,
Though yours change on. You here, I there,
So hand in hand, twin-leafed despair -
I did not know death was so strange.
Edwin Muir
*****
Angels
When God calls little children to dwell with Him above,
We mortals sometime question the wisdom of His love.
For no heartache compares with the death of one small child
Who does so much to make our world, seem wonderful and mild
Perhaps God tires of calling the aged to his fold,
So He picks a rosebud, before it can grow old.
God knows how much we need them, and so He takes but few
To make the land of Heaven more beautiful to view.
Believing this is difficult still somehow we must try,
The saddest word mankind knows will always be "Goodbye."
So when a little child departs, we who are left behind
Must realise God loves children, Angels are hard to find.
*****
The Death Of Someone We Love
The death of someone we love and care about
Is like the death of part of us.
No one else will ever call out from within us
Quite the same responses, the same feelings or actions or ideas.
Their death is an ending of one part of a story.
Lord as we look back over Aaron's life
We ask what we have received, what we can appropriate
And continue on in our own lives and what must be laid to rest.
Our love for his/her reminds us that our sharing
In one another's lives brings both support and pain.
Our being parted from him/her reminds us of our own mortality
And that your love is enduring.
We thank you that our love for Aaron draws us together
And gives us a new appreciation of one another
And of the beauty and fragility of relationships
Which mirror your grace and goodness to us.
Lord, time's tide may wash his/her footprints from the shore
But not our love for him/her nor the influence of his/her life upon our own
Nor the ways in which they will ever be a sign for us
Of those things which really matter-which are eternal.
Hear this prayer for your love's sake.
Amen.
*****
Then a song was played
Bright Eyes
Floating out on the tide,
Following the river of death downstream?
Oh, is it a dream?
There's a fog along the horizon,
A strange glow in the sky,
And nobody seems to know where you go,
And what does it mean?
Oh, is it a dream?
Bright eyes,
Burning like fire.
Bright eyes,
How can you close and fail?
How can the light that burned so brightly
Suddenly burn so pale?
Bright eyes.
Is it a kind of shadow,
Reaching into the night,
Wandering over the hills unseen,
Or is it a dream?
There's a high wind in the trees,
A cold sound in the air,
And nobody ever knows when you go,
And where do you start,
Oh, into the dark.
Bright eyes,
burning like fire.
Bright eyes,
how can you close and fail?
How can the light that burned so brightly
Suddenly burn so pale?
Bright eyes.
Bright eyes,
burning like fire.
Bright eyes,
how can you close and fail?
How can the light that burned so brightly
Suddenly burn so pale?
Bright eyes.
Then the speeches were said from family and friends.. I do not wish to share these speeches. I am sorry.
This is the cemetery
His grave is marked with the following...
Gone but never forgotten, So young yet so brave.
Aaron ********
Born 24th November 1989
Died 7th June 2002
May he R I P
The End
This, in addition to the other post about Aaron's death, is the full account of that tragic day.
6th June 2002 Thursday. 16:38 Hrs
Basic background information.. Aaron had returned from school coming straight to my house. He was a bit agitated and uneasy. Tomorrow was his PTE meeting at his school. The end of the school term PTE meeting, before they broke up for school summer holidays. Aaron was worried about what will be said. The previous PTE meeting (Parent Tutor Evening) I attended as his "Parent" because his parents were unable to attend. Aaron is no angel, and i had to lie about a few things about Aaron's behaviour in school to his parents. Nothing major, just a more mellowed report in order to prevent a domestic dispute. This year however, Aaron's father was going instead. This made Aaron a little uneasy.
"Hello Aaron, Good day in school?" i asked
"Badda bing badda boom"
"That good eh?" i said smiling
"I'm a little head fucked about tomorrow"
"Why?" i asked
"Its the school teacher grassing day" (PTE Meeting)
"Don't tell me, let me guess. It ain't gonna be good" i surmised.
"Nope"
"Look, its not like you haven't had a bad report before, you will be fine" i tried to reassure.
"Nah, this time i am fucking history"
"What you done this time?" i asked. laughing.
Aaron handed me a letter from the principle. The letter was a letter home explaining how Aaron was caught smoking in the school grounds today.
"Shit" i said.
"Yeah"
"And this is the first time offence yeah?" i asked.
"What do you mean?"
"Never been caught smoking in school before?" i elaborated
"Nope"
"Well, ok, nothing serious then. first time offence, you will just get a ticking off and it will be forgotten about by September when you go back to school" i said.
"Yeah i wish."
"Come on, like. your dad knows you smoke yeah?" i asked, not really knowing as i never really asked.
"Yeah"
"So why worry?" i asked.
"He thinks I quit"
"Really? you been smoking for what? at least two years now? yeah?" i asked.
"Yeah, must be."
"And they haven't worked it out?" i asked.
"I dunno"
"What about that time when they found your fags?" i asked.
"Um, i said they were yours?"
"Did you?" i asked surprised
"Yeah"
"And the smell?" i asked.
"You smoking"
"Azza, Azza Azza.. What are we gonna do with you eh?" I said patting him on the shoulder.
"Look, I am in shit here. Dad will finally know I lied and said I was no smoking anymore."
"Aaron, i am sure he will ground you or something, but it ain't the end of the world" i said.
"Yeah maybe"
"So what else is going to be said in the PTE meeting?" i asked.
"Fuck knows"
"I mean, you tell me most things don't you? About what happens?" i asked.
"Yeah"
"Look, this year you haven't really said anything major. So it wont be bad ok?" i said.
"Ok"
We talked about the letter home, i gave Aaron reassurance that it wasn't the end of the world and he left my house to go home at 5pm. He said he would be around later around 7pm. I kept hold of the letter he had and said its best to not say anything to his dad. i will talk to him tomorrow about it and then it wont be such a shock. Aaron agreed. He kissed me goodbye and left.
At 7pm Aaron text me saying..
"Dad wan me ta stay in tonite. so i see ya wen eva. i don no if i grounded or no. but i text ya l8tr an let ya no"
I replied and said get an early night, i will talk to his dad tomorrow, and good luck in School and the PTE meeting.
07:45 am Friday 7th June 2002.
I was just having breakfast when Aaron came in to my house.
"Morning" i said.
"Hi"
"Sleep well?" i asked
"Yeah, you?"
"Fine, just let me finish my breakfast"
I finished my breakfast, cleaned my teeth and returned to the lounge where Aaron was watching a Breakfast show on ITV.
"So, ready for school?" i asked.
"Yeah, still got time"
"I will run you down there in my car" i said.
"Ok"
We sat and watched News until it was time to leave and then we set off. I put Aaron's bike in the back of my car, I then climbed in and Aaron was already sat in the passenger seat. I took him to school, and kissed him goodbye in our usual secret spot before arriving at the school gates.. a layby a mile away. Then i told him i will probably see him after school at around 16:00 hrs. The PTE meeting didn't start until 18:30 hrs. Which was usual for the school.
At 17:24 Hrs Aaron was back at my house. I had only just got home from work.
"Sorry Azza, i was held up at work" i said opening up the door hearing the TV on and CBBC channel blaring out a Cartoon.
"Hi"
"Good day at school?" i asked.
"Ok, its now summer holiday" Aaron said smiling.
"Cool" i said
"So when are you off for this PTE meeting then?" I asked.
"I gotta be going soon"
"Ok, well. If it all goes rat shit tonight. Just text me ok, and i will come over" i said.
"Ok"
"Don't worry ok?" i said.
"I gotta be going"
"Ok, See you later babe" i said.
We kissed. and i waved him goodbye as he took his bike by foot towards his home down the end of the street. I closed my door and then sat and watched some TV. I knew the PTE meeting was going to finish around 20:30 hrs or so. So i put on some dinner, and sat and watched BBC 1.
At 18:48 Hrs i received a text.
"I am at skool. dad talking to teacher. this is boring"
I replied. "Don't worry, you will be back home in my arms soon. LOL"
"Yeah" he replied.
"See you at 21:00 hrs ish, if you aren't grounded" i replied
"Cool" he replied.
Midnight came and went, and there was still no news of his whereabouts. I sent a text to him asking where he was. and no reply. I never saw the car drive past my house (the only way into the street to his home was past my house, and the street was quiet enough to notice a car passing by) I even went out of my house to check his driveway, and saw no car.
I assumed that maybe Aaron was taken to his Nan's house? she did live around 20 miles away. Usually Aaron was "Dumped" there when he was in the dog house sometimes. Aarons dad was like that, he would take Aaron to his nan's house and then go off and have his "Tantrum" and then pick Aaron up and then ground him and then send him to his room when they returned home.
Or
I assumed that maybe his car broke down? and they were on there way home? maybe by someone giving them a lift? Or maybe Aaron and his dad are sat somewhere in some layby shouting at each other about the bad report?Aarons dad did have a temper on him, I don't ever recall his dad hitting Aaron, but they have been known to have a slagging match and argument at the side of the road.
Or
Aaron has done a runner, trying to escape his dad's fury. yet, why not text me?
I finally fell asleep with the TV still on, it was around 1am now and i was shattered. There would be a logical explanation tomorrow.. maybe Aaron's phone died and he couldn't text me, and the car did pass, i just missed it and he parked it in the garage instead of the driveway. Yeah, that was it.. that was the reason. and Aaron couldn't come over to mine as he is grounded. and the usual thing means he can't phone me or text me as his dad would take his phone battery out so he can't communicate. And i will find out he is grounded tomorrow when i "Just pop by" to ask about Aaron's PTE meeting, and take his dirty laundry back home.
I fell asleep knowing all was well in my mind.
Saturday 8th June 2002. 09:23 Hrs
A knock at the front door woke me up. The telly was still on, i was still dressed and on the sofa. cushions keeping my head comfy. Bang on the door.
"Ok Ok" i said getting up and walking to the door.
I opened it up and looked at a tearful ******, Aarons brother.
"What?" i asked. (Not really getting on with his brother as he was a bit of a twat)
"Aarons.." he stuttered
"What about Aaron?" i asked, still half asleep
"He is dead"
"Fuck off you little bastard" i said.
Just as i was about to start telling him to get a life and grow up and stop bullshitting.. i saw the police car parked just out of sight from my front door. I stepped out of my house pushing Aarons brother out of the way and looked towards Aarons house.
Two police cars were parked outside and a policeman was filling out some form or something stood on the end of Aaron's front pathway.
"He killed Aaron?" i said still looking down the street.
"I said, DID HE KILL AARON?!" I said looking back at Aaron's brother.
Aarons brother was sat down on my front door step crying. in anger, i grabbed him and lifted him up.
"What the fuck happened?" i demanded.
I managed to get him to tell me.
"Aaron died in a car crash last night coming home from school"
In blind fury i walked straight to Aarons house and was stopped by the policeman.
"What happened?!" i demanded.
With no luck from the policeman to explain, Aarons mum came out shouting at me to fuck off.. she was upset, angry and grieving. I eventually went back to my house and slammed the door shut. i stayed there for the rest of the day crying.
Eventually.. I received the news via the local newspaper and communication between Aaron's brother and Aaron's nan, who i was on speaking terms with for some time. I also contacted the BASICS doctor, who just so happened to be a Military Doctor on the base i was serving on. He attended the scene.
The report is in the next post.
6th June 2002 Thursday. 16:38 Hrs
Basic background information.. Aaron had returned from school coming straight to my house. He was a bit agitated and uneasy. Tomorrow was his PTE meeting at his school. The end of the school term PTE meeting, before they broke up for school summer holidays. Aaron was worried about what will be said. The previous PTE meeting (Parent Tutor Evening) I attended as his "Parent" because his parents were unable to attend. Aaron is no angel, and i had to lie about a few things about Aaron's behaviour in school to his parents. Nothing major, just a more mellowed report in order to prevent a domestic dispute. This year however, Aaron's father was going instead. This made Aaron a little uneasy.
"Hello Aaron, Good day in school?" i asked
"Badda bing badda boom"
"That good eh?" i said smiling
"I'm a little head fucked about tomorrow"
"Why?" i asked
"Its the school teacher grassing day" (PTE Meeting)
"Don't tell me, let me guess. It ain't gonna be good" i surmised.
"Nope"
"Look, its not like you haven't had a bad report before, you will be fine" i tried to reassure.
"Nah, this time i am fucking history"
"What you done this time?" i asked. laughing.
Aaron handed me a letter from the principle. The letter was a letter home explaining how Aaron was caught smoking in the school grounds today.
"Shit" i said.
"Yeah"
"And this is the first time offence yeah?" i asked.
"What do you mean?"
"Never been caught smoking in school before?" i elaborated
"Nope"
"Well, ok, nothing serious then. first time offence, you will just get a ticking off and it will be forgotten about by September when you go back to school" i said.
"Yeah i wish."
"Come on, like. your dad knows you smoke yeah?" i asked, not really knowing as i never really asked.
"Yeah"
"So why worry?" i asked.
"He thinks I quit"
"Really? you been smoking for what? at least two years now? yeah?" i asked.
"Yeah, must be."
"And they haven't worked it out?" i asked.
"I dunno"
"What about that time when they found your fags?" i asked.
"Um, i said they were yours?"
"Did you?" i asked surprised
"Yeah"
"And the smell?" i asked.
"You smoking"
"Azza, Azza Azza.. What are we gonna do with you eh?" I said patting him on the shoulder.
"Look, I am in shit here. Dad will finally know I lied and said I was no smoking anymore."
"Aaron, i am sure he will ground you or something, but it ain't the end of the world" i said.
"Yeah maybe"
"So what else is going to be said in the PTE meeting?" i asked.
"Fuck knows"
"I mean, you tell me most things don't you? About what happens?" i asked.
"Yeah"
"Look, this year you haven't really said anything major. So it wont be bad ok?" i said.
"Ok"
We talked about the letter home, i gave Aaron reassurance that it wasn't the end of the world and he left my house to go home at 5pm. He said he would be around later around 7pm. I kept hold of the letter he had and said its best to not say anything to his dad. i will talk to him tomorrow about it and then it wont be such a shock. Aaron agreed. He kissed me goodbye and left.
At 7pm Aaron text me saying..
"Dad wan me ta stay in tonite. so i see ya wen eva. i don no if i grounded or no. but i text ya l8tr an let ya no"
I replied and said get an early night, i will talk to his dad tomorrow, and good luck in School and the PTE meeting.
07:45 am Friday 7th June 2002.
I was just having breakfast when Aaron came in to my house.
"Morning" i said.
"Hi"
"Sleep well?" i asked
"Yeah, you?"
"Fine, just let me finish my breakfast"
I finished my breakfast, cleaned my teeth and returned to the lounge where Aaron was watching a Breakfast show on ITV.
"So, ready for school?" i asked.
"Yeah, still got time"
"I will run you down there in my car" i said.
"Ok"
We sat and watched News until it was time to leave and then we set off. I put Aaron's bike in the back of my car, I then climbed in and Aaron was already sat in the passenger seat. I took him to school, and kissed him goodbye in our usual secret spot before arriving at the school gates.. a layby a mile away. Then i told him i will probably see him after school at around 16:00 hrs. The PTE meeting didn't start until 18:30 hrs. Which was usual for the school.
At 17:24 Hrs Aaron was back at my house. I had only just got home from work.
"Sorry Azza, i was held up at work" i said opening up the door hearing the TV on and CBBC channel blaring out a Cartoon.
"Hi"
"Good day at school?" i asked.
"Ok, its now summer holiday" Aaron said smiling.
"Cool" i said
"So when are you off for this PTE meeting then?" I asked.
"I gotta be going soon"
"Ok, well. If it all goes rat shit tonight. Just text me ok, and i will come over" i said.
"Ok"
"Don't worry ok?" i said.
"I gotta be going"
"Ok, See you later babe" i said.
We kissed. and i waved him goodbye as he took his bike by foot towards his home down the end of the street. I closed my door and then sat and watched some TV. I knew the PTE meeting was going to finish around 20:30 hrs or so. So i put on some dinner, and sat and watched BBC 1.
At 18:48 Hrs i received a text.
"I am at skool. dad talking to teacher. this is boring"
I replied. "Don't worry, you will be back home in my arms soon. LOL"
"Yeah" he replied.
"See you at 21:00 hrs ish, if you aren't grounded" i replied
"Cool" he replied.
Midnight came and went, and there was still no news of his whereabouts. I sent a text to him asking where he was. and no reply. I never saw the car drive past my house (the only way into the street to his home was past my house, and the street was quiet enough to notice a car passing by) I even went out of my house to check his driveway, and saw no car.
I assumed that maybe Aaron was taken to his Nan's house? she did live around 20 miles away. Usually Aaron was "Dumped" there when he was in the dog house sometimes. Aarons dad was like that, he would take Aaron to his nan's house and then go off and have his "Tantrum" and then pick Aaron up and then ground him and then send him to his room when they returned home.
Or
I assumed that maybe his car broke down? and they were on there way home? maybe by someone giving them a lift? Or maybe Aaron and his dad are sat somewhere in some layby shouting at each other about the bad report?Aarons dad did have a temper on him, I don't ever recall his dad hitting Aaron, but they have been known to have a slagging match and argument at the side of the road.
Or
Aaron has done a runner, trying to escape his dad's fury. yet, why not text me?
I finally fell asleep with the TV still on, it was around 1am now and i was shattered. There would be a logical explanation tomorrow.. maybe Aaron's phone died and he couldn't text me, and the car did pass, i just missed it and he parked it in the garage instead of the driveway. Yeah, that was it.. that was the reason. and Aaron couldn't come over to mine as he is grounded. and the usual thing means he can't phone me or text me as his dad would take his phone battery out so he can't communicate. And i will find out he is grounded tomorrow when i "Just pop by" to ask about Aaron's PTE meeting, and take his dirty laundry back home.
I fell asleep knowing all was well in my mind.
Saturday 8th June 2002. 09:23 Hrs
A knock at the front door woke me up. The telly was still on, i was still dressed and on the sofa. cushions keeping my head comfy. Bang on the door.
"Ok Ok" i said getting up and walking to the door.
I opened it up and looked at a tearful ******, Aarons brother.
"What?" i asked. (Not really getting on with his brother as he was a bit of a twat)
"Aarons.." he stuttered
"What about Aaron?" i asked, still half asleep
"He is dead"
"Fuck off you little bastard" i said.
Just as i was about to start telling him to get a life and grow up and stop bullshitting.. i saw the police car parked just out of sight from my front door. I stepped out of my house pushing Aarons brother out of the way and looked towards Aarons house.
Two police cars were parked outside and a policeman was filling out some form or something stood on the end of Aaron's front pathway.
"He killed Aaron?" i said still looking down the street.
"I said, DID HE KILL AARON?!" I said looking back at Aaron's brother.
Aarons brother was sat down on my front door step crying. in anger, i grabbed him and lifted him up.
"What the fuck happened?" i demanded.
I managed to get him to tell me.
"Aaron died in a car crash last night coming home from school"
In blind fury i walked straight to Aarons house and was stopped by the policeman.
"What happened?!" i demanded.
With no luck from the policeman to explain, Aarons mum came out shouting at me to fuck off.. she was upset, angry and grieving. I eventually went back to my house and slammed the door shut. i stayed there for the rest of the day crying.
Eventually.. I received the news via the local newspaper and communication between Aaron's brother and Aaron's nan, who i was on speaking terms with for some time. I also contacted the BASICS doctor, who just so happened to be a Military Doctor on the base i was serving on. He attended the scene.
The report is in the next post.
Aarons Fav Cars - Mk 4 Golf GTI and R32 "VR6"
The Golf Mk4 was first introduced in August 1997, followed by a notchback version (VW Bora or, in North America, again VW Jetta) in August 1998 and a new Golf Variant (estate) in March 1999. There was no Mk4-derived Cabriolet, although the Mk3 Cabriolet received a facelift in late 1999 that comprised bumpers, grill and headlights similar to those of the Mark 4 models. New high-performance models included the 3.2 L VR6-engined four-wheel-drive Golf "R32" introduced in 2004, its predecessor the 2.8 L VR6-engined "Golf V6 4Motion" (succeeding the 2.9 L Mk3 "Golf VR6 Syncro"), as well as use of the famous 1.8T (turbo) 4-cylinder used in various Volkswagen Group models.
As of 2008, certain variants of the Golf/Bora Mk4 were still in production in Brazil, China, and Mexico. Revised versions of the Mk4 were sold in Canada marketed as the Golf City and Jetta City from 2007 to 2010. The two models were VW Canada's entry-level offerings. They received a significant freshening for the 2008 model year, including revised headlamps, taillamps, front and rear fascias, sound systems, and wheels. Both models were offered only with the 2.0 L, 8-valve SOHC four-cylinder gasoline engine, rated at 86 kW (115 bhp). They were the only entry-level offerings with an optional six-speed automatic. The production of Golf Mk4 for the U.S. market ended in 2006. But for the European markets, the production of the fourth generation ended in 2003.
When the Chinese market Bora received a July 2006 facelift, the Golf did too, becoming the "Bora HS" in the process. Because of the MK4's popularity and low cost, it is still in production in several countries, such as Brazil and Argentina, slightly facelifted.
As of 2008, certain variants of the Golf/Bora Mk4 were still in production in Brazil, China, and Mexico. Revised versions of the Mk4 were sold in Canada marketed as the Golf City and Jetta City from 2007 to 2010. The two models were VW Canada's entry-level offerings. They received a significant freshening for the 2008 model year, including revised headlamps, taillamps, front and rear fascias, sound systems, and wheels. Both models were offered only with the 2.0 L, 8-valve SOHC four-cylinder gasoline engine, rated at 86 kW (115 bhp). They were the only entry-level offerings with an optional six-speed automatic. The production of Golf Mk4 for the U.S. market ended in 2006. But for the European markets, the production of the fourth generation ended in 2003.
When the Chinese market Bora received a July 2006 facelift, the Golf did too, becoming the "Bora HS" in the process. Because of the MK4's popularity and low cost, it is still in production in several countries, such as Brazil and Argentina, slightly facelifted.
Aarons Fav Cars - Ariel Atom 1996 - Ariel Atom 1.
The Ariel Atom is a high performance sports car made by the Ariel Motor Company based in Somerset, England and under licence in North America by TMI Autotech, Inc. at Virginia International Raceway in Alton, Virginia.
There have been four Ariel Atom incarnations to date: Ariel Atom, Ariel Atom 2, Ariel Atom 3 and Ariel Atom 500 V8. The current model is the Ariel Atom 3 which is the most powerful apart from the V8 model. The latter is a limited production model with a 500 bhp (373 kW; 507 PS) V8 engine made from two Suzuki Hayabusa engines.
The Ariel Atom is unusual in that it is exoskeletal — the chassis is prominently visible from the outside — and therefore lacks a roof, windows and other features normally found on road cars although a small windshield is available as an optional extra.
Specifications
0–60 mph (0–97 km/h): 2.8 seconds (manufacturer's claim)
Top speed: 155 mph, 250 km/h
Power: 245 bhp (183 kW; 248 PS) @ 8200 rpm (300 bhp supercharged)
Torque: 210 N·m (150 ft·lbf) @ 6100 rpm
Weight: 612 kg (1350 lb)
Transmission: Honda six-speed with reverse or General Motors six speed with reverse
Price: £30,000/£45,000 supercharged (cost in the US is $39,203.12 base price)
Engine: 2.0L Honda K20A1, 4 cylinder, i-VTEC or 2.0L supercharged, or General Motors 2.2L supercharged or 2.4L Ecotec 4 cylinder
Manufacturer: Ariel Motor Company Ltd
Length: 3,410 mm (134 in)
Width: 1,798 mm (70.8 in) / 1,828 mm (72.0 in) with 225 Tyres
Height: 1,195 mm (47.0 in)
Track: 1,600 mm (63 in) front and rear
Wheelbase: 2,345 mm (92.3 in)
Designer: Nik Smart
In 2005 Track and Race Car magazine published the results of a comprehensive test of a range of cars, from the Porsche 911 Carrera S, Ford GT, BMW M5 to the Caterham CSR 260. The Supercharged Ariel Atom 1 won the 0–100–0 mph (0–161–0 km/h) test by a clear margin at 10.88 seconds, ahead of the Caterham CSR 260 (11.41) and the Ford GT in 4th (13.17).
The following year, the Atom won Autocar's 0–100 mph challenge as the new Ariel Atom 2 300 bhp supercharged edition achieved a time of 6.86 seconds, and then stopped from 100 in 3.8 seconds. At the National Exhibition Centre in Birmingham, the Atom broke the indoor speed record. The high gloss floor that the cars ran on was only 220 m (720 ft) long, with an open door at the end of the hall. The driver of the Atom launched in fourth gear and still had wheelspin until the car reached 70 mph (110 km/h) and started to get traction. The Atom was beaten only by a Class 9 Autograss car powered by a 2.0l Lexus/Toyota touring car engine which set the official indoor speed record, beating the previous record held by a Toyota F1 car driven by Top Gear's driver The Stig.
The Sunday Times measured the time taken for the Atom to accelerate from 0 to 60 mph (97 km/h) at 2.89 seconds, making it the world's third fastest accelerating production car then available after the $1.3 million, 1,001 PS (987 bhp) Bugatti Veyron at 2.46 seconds, and the Ultima GTR at 2.6 seconds; the review was in 2005.
There have been four Ariel Atom incarnations to date: Ariel Atom, Ariel Atom 2, Ariel Atom 3 and Ariel Atom 500 V8. The current model is the Ariel Atom 3 which is the most powerful apart from the V8 model. The latter is a limited production model with a 500 bhp (373 kW; 507 PS) V8 engine made from two Suzuki Hayabusa engines.
The Ariel Atom is unusual in that it is exoskeletal — the chassis is prominently visible from the outside — and therefore lacks a roof, windows and other features normally found on road cars although a small windshield is available as an optional extra.
Specifications
0–60 mph (0–97 km/h): 2.8 seconds (manufacturer's claim)
Top speed: 155 mph, 250 km/h
Power: 245 bhp (183 kW; 248 PS) @ 8200 rpm (300 bhp supercharged)
Torque: 210 N·m (150 ft·lbf) @ 6100 rpm
Weight: 612 kg (1350 lb)
Transmission: Honda six-speed with reverse or General Motors six speed with reverse
Price: £30,000/£45,000 supercharged (cost in the US is $39,203.12 base price)
Engine: 2.0L Honda K20A1, 4 cylinder, i-VTEC or 2.0L supercharged, or General Motors 2.2L supercharged or 2.4L Ecotec 4 cylinder
Manufacturer: Ariel Motor Company Ltd
Length: 3,410 mm (134 in)
Width: 1,798 mm (70.8 in) / 1,828 mm (72.0 in) with 225 Tyres
Height: 1,195 mm (47.0 in)
Track: 1,600 mm (63 in) front and rear
Wheelbase: 2,345 mm (92.3 in)
Designer: Nik Smart
In 2005 Track and Race Car magazine published the results of a comprehensive test of a range of cars, from the Porsche 911 Carrera S, Ford GT, BMW M5 to the Caterham CSR 260. The Supercharged Ariel Atom 1 won the 0–100–0 mph (0–161–0 km/h) test by a clear margin at 10.88 seconds, ahead of the Caterham CSR 260 (11.41) and the Ford GT in 4th (13.17).
The following year, the Atom won Autocar's 0–100 mph challenge as the new Ariel Atom 2 300 bhp supercharged edition achieved a time of 6.86 seconds, and then stopped from 100 in 3.8 seconds. At the National Exhibition Centre in Birmingham, the Atom broke the indoor speed record. The high gloss floor that the cars ran on was only 220 m (720 ft) long, with an open door at the end of the hall. The driver of the Atom launched in fourth gear and still had wheelspin until the car reached 70 mph (110 km/h) and started to get traction. The Atom was beaten only by a Class 9 Autograss car powered by a 2.0l Lexus/Toyota touring car engine which set the official indoor speed record, beating the previous record held by a Toyota F1 car driven by Top Gear's driver The Stig.
The Sunday Times measured the time taken for the Atom to accelerate from 0 to 60 mph (97 km/h) at 2.89 seconds, making it the world's third fastest accelerating production car then available after the $1.3 million, 1,001 PS (987 bhp) Bugatti Veyron at 2.46 seconds, and the Ultima GTR at 2.6 seconds; the review was in 2005.
Tuesday, 9 October 2012
Aarons Fav Singers - Rob Zombie
Rob Zombie born Robert Bartleh Cummings
January 12, 1965
is an American musician, film director, screenwriter and film producer. He legally changed his name to Rob Zombie in 1996. He rose to prominence as a founding member of the band White Zombie which formed in the mid-1980s, and rose to fame in the early 1990s. As a solo artist, he has released four studio albums, five compilation albums, and a live album. He has expanded his career and become a director, and has directed a total of six films, the majority of which he also wrote or co-wrote. He has also released numerous brands of comic books, and appeared as an actor on numerous occasions.
Their debut album, Soul-Crusher, was released in 1987 and was followed by their second album Make Them Die Slowly in 1989. They rose to prominence after the success of their third album, La Sexorcisto: Devil Music, Vol. 1, and its lead single "Thunder Kiss '65" in 1993. The album went on to be certified multi-platinum by the RIAA, for sales exceeding two million copies in the US. Their fourth and final studio album, Astro Creep: 2000, became their first top-10 entry on the Billboard 200, and their second album to reach multi-platinum status. Zombie began his solo career with the release of his 1998 debut album Hellbilly Deluxe. The album was both a critical and commercial success, spawning three hit singles, reaching the Top 5 of the Billboard 200, and selling over three million copies worldwide. Hellbilly is Zombie's highest selling album to date. He followed the success of the album with The Sinister Urge in 2001, which had similar success to that of its predecessor. Zombie's first greatest hits album, Past, Present & Future, was released in 2003, and reached Platinum status by the RIAA. His third studio album, Educated Horses, was released in 2006, and was his third Top 10 entry on the Billboard 200. In 2010, he released Hellbilly Deluxe 2, calling it a companion to his debut album. His fifth album is currently in production, and is slated for a 2013 release date.
Following his success as a musician, Zombie began directing, writing and producing films. His first film, House of 1000 Corpses, was completed in 2000, but numerous struggles with the distributor over the film's violence and gore ultimately led to the film not being released until 2003. Its sequel, The Devil's Rejects, was released in 2005. The two films have gained a cult following since their release, and helped boost Zombie's career. In 2007, he released his third film, a remake of the 1978 classic film Halloween. The film went on to gross over $80 million, the highest grossing film in the Halloween franchise. In 2009, Zombie released a sequel for the film, titled Halloween II. In 2009, Zombie released his first animated film, The Haunted World of El Superbeasto, based on his comic book series of the same name. His film The Lords of Salem is slated for a 2012 release date, while another film, Tyrannosaurus Rex, is set to be released sometime after Lords. Zombie has also bought the rights to a film about the Philadelphia Flyers, titled The Broad Street Bullies, though no release date for the film has been announced yet. Zombie directed the majority of his band White Zombie's music videos, as well as numerous videos of his own. Zombie's lyrics are noted for their horror and sci-fi themes, and his live shows for their elaborate shock rock theatricality. He has sold over 15 million albums worldwide, and had six Top 20 hits on the Billboard Hot Mainstream Rock Tracks chart in the United States.
January 12, 1965
is an American musician, film director, screenwriter and film producer. He legally changed his name to Rob Zombie in 1996. He rose to prominence as a founding member of the band White Zombie which formed in the mid-1980s, and rose to fame in the early 1990s. As a solo artist, he has released four studio albums, five compilation albums, and a live album. He has expanded his career and become a director, and has directed a total of six films, the majority of which he also wrote or co-wrote. He has also released numerous brands of comic books, and appeared as an actor on numerous occasions.
Their debut album, Soul-Crusher, was released in 1987 and was followed by their second album Make Them Die Slowly in 1989. They rose to prominence after the success of their third album, La Sexorcisto: Devil Music, Vol. 1, and its lead single "Thunder Kiss '65" in 1993. The album went on to be certified multi-platinum by the RIAA, for sales exceeding two million copies in the US. Their fourth and final studio album, Astro Creep: 2000, became their first top-10 entry on the Billboard 200, and their second album to reach multi-platinum status. Zombie began his solo career with the release of his 1998 debut album Hellbilly Deluxe. The album was both a critical and commercial success, spawning three hit singles, reaching the Top 5 of the Billboard 200, and selling over three million copies worldwide. Hellbilly is Zombie's highest selling album to date. He followed the success of the album with The Sinister Urge in 2001, which had similar success to that of its predecessor. Zombie's first greatest hits album, Past, Present & Future, was released in 2003, and reached Platinum status by the RIAA. His third studio album, Educated Horses, was released in 2006, and was his third Top 10 entry on the Billboard 200. In 2010, he released Hellbilly Deluxe 2, calling it a companion to his debut album. His fifth album is currently in production, and is slated for a 2013 release date.
Following his success as a musician, Zombie began directing, writing and producing films. His first film, House of 1000 Corpses, was completed in 2000, but numerous struggles with the distributor over the film's violence and gore ultimately led to the film not being released until 2003. Its sequel, The Devil's Rejects, was released in 2005. The two films have gained a cult following since their release, and helped boost Zombie's career. In 2007, he released his third film, a remake of the 1978 classic film Halloween. The film went on to gross over $80 million, the highest grossing film in the Halloween franchise. In 2009, Zombie released a sequel for the film, titled Halloween II. In 2009, Zombie released his first animated film, The Haunted World of El Superbeasto, based on his comic book series of the same name. His film The Lords of Salem is slated for a 2012 release date, while another film, Tyrannosaurus Rex, is set to be released sometime after Lords. Zombie has also bought the rights to a film about the Philadelphia Flyers, titled The Broad Street Bullies, though no release date for the film has been announced yet. Zombie directed the majority of his band White Zombie's music videos, as well as numerous videos of his own. Zombie's lyrics are noted for their horror and sci-fi themes, and his live shows for their elaborate shock rock theatricality. He has sold over 15 million albums worldwide, and had six Top 20 hits on the Billboard Hot Mainstream Rock Tracks chart in the United States.
Monday, 8 October 2012
Zero The Hero - Black Sabbath
Accept the fact that you're second rate, life is easy for you
It's all served up on a gold plated plate
and we don't even have to talk to you
Your face is normal, that's the way you're bred
and that's the way you're going to stay
Your head is firmly nailed to your TV channel
But someone else's finger's on the control panel
What you gonna be, what you gonna be brother
Zero the Hero
Don't you wanna be, don't you wanna be brother
Zero the Hero
When you gonna be, when you gonna be brother
Zero the Hero
Impossibility impossibolity mother really a Hero
You sit there watch it all burn down
it's easy and breezy for you
You play your life to a different sound
No edge no edge you got no knife have you
Your life is a six-lane highway to nowhere
You're going so fast you're never ever gonna get down there
Where the heroes sit by the river
with a magic in their music as they eat raw liver
What you gonna be, what you gonna be brother
Zero the Hero
Don't you wanna be, don't you wanna be brother
Zero the Hero
When you gonna be, when you gonna be brother
Zero the Hero
Impossibility impossibolity mother really a Hero
You stand there captain and we all look, you really are mediocre
You are the champion in the Acme form book
But I think you're just a joker
Your facedown life ain't so much of a pity
But the luv-a-duckin' way you're walkin' around the city
with your balls and your head full of nothing
it's easy for you sucker but you really need stuffing
What you gonna be, what you gonna be brother
Zero the Hero
Don't you wanna be, don't you wanna be brother
Zero the Hero
When you gonna be, when you gonna be brother
Zero the Hero
Impossibility impossibolity mother really a Hero
It's all served up on a gold plated plate
and we don't even have to talk to you
Your face is normal, that's the way you're bred
and that's the way you're going to stay
Your head is firmly nailed to your TV channel
But someone else's finger's on the control panel
What you gonna be, what you gonna be brother
Zero the Hero
Don't you wanna be, don't you wanna be brother
Zero the Hero
When you gonna be, when you gonna be brother
Zero the Hero
Impossibility impossibolity mother really a Hero
You sit there watch it all burn down
it's easy and breezy for you
You play your life to a different sound
No edge no edge you got no knife have you
Your life is a six-lane highway to nowhere
You're going so fast you're never ever gonna get down there
Where the heroes sit by the river
with a magic in their music as they eat raw liver
What you gonna be, what you gonna be brother
Zero the Hero
Don't you wanna be, don't you wanna be brother
Zero the Hero
When you gonna be, when you gonna be brother
Zero the Hero
Impossibility impossibolity mother really a Hero
You stand there captain and we all look, you really are mediocre
You are the champion in the Acme form book
But I think you're just a joker
Your facedown life ain't so much of a pity
But the luv-a-duckin' way you're walkin' around the city
with your balls and your head full of nothing
it's easy for you sucker but you really need stuffing
What you gonna be, what you gonna be brother
Zero the Hero
Don't you wanna be, don't you wanna be brother
Zero the Hero
When you gonna be, when you gonna be brother
Zero the Hero
Impossibility impossibolity mother really a Hero
Sweet Revenge - Motorhead
Hello victims!
I can almost taste it,
It's the need to see you die,
You thought you had it made,
Well here's your final shock surprise,
How do you like it,
My unfaithful friend?
How do you like it?
How do you like my Sweet Revenge?
Turn the key in the door,
No one close to hear you scream,
You'll never imagine the pain,
Even in you're foulest dreams,
How do you like that
Invitation friend?
How do you like that?
That's what I call my Sweet Revenge
So sweet to see you,
Writhe and crawl and scream for life,
But I can't listen now,
I'm too busy with the knife,
I don't hear you laughing,
My dismembered friend,
I don't hear you laughing,
You don't like my Sweet Revenge
I can almost taste it,
It's the need to see you die,
You thought you had it made,
Well here's your final shock surprise,
How do you like it,
My unfaithful friend?
How do you like it?
How do you like my Sweet Revenge?
Turn the key in the door,
No one close to hear you scream,
You'll never imagine the pain,
Even in you're foulest dreams,
How do you like that
Invitation friend?
How do you like that?
That's what I call my Sweet Revenge
So sweet to see you,
Writhe and crawl and scream for life,
But I can't listen now,
I'm too busy with the knife,
I don't hear you laughing,
My dismembered friend,
I don't hear you laughing,
You don't like my Sweet Revenge
Jail Bait - Motorhead
Teenage baby you're a sweet young thing,
Still tied to Mommy's apron strings,
I don't even dare to ask your age,
It's enough to know you're here backstage,
You're Jailbait, and I just can't wait,
Jailbait baby come on
One chase baby, all I need,
My decision made at lightning speed,
I don't even want to know your name,
It's enough to know you feel the same,
Jailbait, and I just can't wait,
Jailbait baby get down
Tell you baby oh you look so fine,
Sending quivers up and down my spine,
I don't care about our different ages,
I'm an open book with well thumbed pages,
Jailbait, oh and I ain't too late,
Jailbait baby get down
Still tied to Mommy's apron strings,
I don't even dare to ask your age,
It's enough to know you're here backstage,
You're Jailbait, and I just can't wait,
Jailbait baby come on
One chase baby, all I need,
My decision made at lightning speed,
I don't even want to know your name,
It's enough to know you feel the same,
Jailbait, and I just can't wait,
Jailbait baby get down
Tell you baby oh you look so fine,
Sending quivers up and down my spine,
I don't care about our different ages,
I'm an open book with well thumbed pages,
Jailbait, oh and I ain't too late,
Jailbait baby get down
Megalomania - Black Sabbath
I hide myself inside the shadows of shame
The silent symphonies were playing their game
My body echoed to the dreams of my soul
It started something that I could not control
Where can I run to now? The joke is on me
No sympathizing 'cos it's insanity, yeah
Why don't you just get out of my life, yeah?
Why don't you just get out of my life now?
Why doesn't everybody leave me alone now?
Why doesn't everybody leave me alone, yeah?
Obsessed with fantasy obssessed with my schemes
I meet reality with pseudo mock dreams
The ghost of violence was something I'd seen
I sold my soul to be the human obscene
How could this poison be the dream of my soul?
How did my fantasies take complete control, yeah?
Why don't you just get out of my life, yeah?
Why don't you just get out of my life now?
Why doesn't everybody leave me alone now?
Why doesn't everybody leave me alone, yeah?
Well I feel something's taken me I don't know where
It's like a trip inside a separate night
The ghost of tomorrow from my favorite dream
Is telling me to leave it all behind
Feel him slipping away, slipping in tomorrow
Got to get to happiness
Want no more of sorrow
How I lied, went to hide
How I tried to get away from you now
Am I right if I fight?
That I might just get away from you now
Sting me!
Well I feel something's giving me the chance to return
It's giving me the chance of saving my soul
Beating the demigod, I'm fading away
I'm going backwards but I'm in control
Feel him slipping away, slipping in tomorrow
Getting back to sanity, providence of sorrow
Was it wise to disguise
How I tried to get away from you now
Is there a way that I can pay
Or is it true I have to stay with you now?
How I lied, went to hide
How I tried to get away from you now
Am I right if I fight?
That I might just get away from you now
Suck me!
I'm really digging schizophrenia the best of the earth
I'll chase my soul in the fires of hell
Peace of mind eluded me, but now it's all mine
I simply try, but he wants me to fail
Feel him slipping away, slipping in tomorrow
Now I've found my happiness, from the depths of sorrow
No more lies, I got wise
I despise the way I worshipped you, yeah
Now I'm free, can't you see
And now instead I won't be led by you now
Free!
The silent symphonies were playing their game
My body echoed to the dreams of my soul
It started something that I could not control
Where can I run to now? The joke is on me
No sympathizing 'cos it's insanity, yeah
Why don't you just get out of my life, yeah?
Why don't you just get out of my life now?
Why doesn't everybody leave me alone now?
Why doesn't everybody leave me alone, yeah?
Obsessed with fantasy obssessed with my schemes
I meet reality with pseudo mock dreams
The ghost of violence was something I'd seen
I sold my soul to be the human obscene
How could this poison be the dream of my soul?
How did my fantasies take complete control, yeah?
Why don't you just get out of my life, yeah?
Why don't you just get out of my life now?
Why doesn't everybody leave me alone now?
Why doesn't everybody leave me alone, yeah?
Well I feel something's taken me I don't know where
It's like a trip inside a separate night
The ghost of tomorrow from my favorite dream
Is telling me to leave it all behind
Feel him slipping away, slipping in tomorrow
Got to get to happiness
Want no more of sorrow
How I lied, went to hide
How I tried to get away from you now
Am I right if I fight?
That I might just get away from you now
Sting me!
Well I feel something's giving me the chance to return
It's giving me the chance of saving my soul
Beating the demigod, I'm fading away
I'm going backwards but I'm in control
Feel him slipping away, slipping in tomorrow
Getting back to sanity, providence of sorrow
Was it wise to disguise
How I tried to get away from you now
Is there a way that I can pay
Or is it true I have to stay with you now?
How I lied, went to hide
How I tried to get away from you now
Am I right if I fight?
That I might just get away from you now
Suck me!
I'm really digging schizophrenia the best of the earth
I'll chase my soul in the fires of hell
Peace of mind eluded me, but now it's all mine
I simply try, but he wants me to fail
Feel him slipping away, slipping in tomorrow
Now I've found my happiness, from the depths of sorrow
No more lies, I got wise
I despise the way I worshipped you, yeah
Now I'm free, can't you see
And now instead I won't be led by you now
Free!
Sonic Reducer - OverKill
I don't need anyone
Don't need no mom and dad
Don't need no good advice
Don't need no human race
But I got some news for you
I don't even needja too
I've got my time machine
Got my electronic dream
Sonic reducer
Ain't no loser
Got the sonic reducer
Ain't no loser,
n-n-no
When you're out on the street
They don't know who I am
I watch them from my room
They're all just passin' by
But I'm not just anyone
Yeah,
I'm not just anyone
I've got my time machine
Got my electronic dream
Sonic reducer
Ain't no loser
Got the sonic reducer
Ain't no loser,
no, no, no
I'll be a pharaoh soon
We'll form some kinda tomb
Things will be different then
The sun will rise again
And I'll be two feet tall
And I'll be does it all
I've got my time machine
Got my electronic dream
Sonic reducer
Ain't no loser
Got the sonic reducer
Ain't no loser
Got the sonic reducer,
sonic reducer
Got my sonic reducer,
sonic reducer
Reducer
Don't need no mom and dad
Don't need no good advice
Don't need no human race
But I got some news for you
I don't even needja too
I've got my time machine
Got my electronic dream
Sonic reducer
Ain't no loser
Got the sonic reducer
Ain't no loser,
n-n-no
When you're out on the street
They don't know who I am
I watch them from my room
They're all just passin' by
But I'm not just anyone
Yeah,
I'm not just anyone
I've got my time machine
Got my electronic dream
Sonic reducer
Ain't no loser
Got the sonic reducer
Ain't no loser,
no, no, no
I'll be a pharaoh soon
We'll form some kinda tomb
Things will be different then
The sun will rise again
And I'll be two feet tall
And I'll be does it all
I've got my time machine
Got my electronic dream
Sonic reducer
Ain't no loser
Got the sonic reducer
Ain't no loser
Got the sonic reducer,
sonic reducer
Got my sonic reducer,
sonic reducer
Reducer
I - Black Sabbath
I am anger
Under pressure
Locked in cages
A prisoner
The first to escape
I am wicked
I am legion
Strength in numbers
A lie
The number is one
Chorus:
I - I - I
Everything that I see is for me
Yes, I am giant
I'm a monster
Breaking windows
In houses
Buildings of glass
Rebel rebel
Holy outlaw
Ride together
Don't try it
The power's in one
Chorus:
I - I - I
I am standing alone
But I can rock you
I - I - I
On the edge of the blade
But the knife can't cut the hero down
I am virgin
I'm a whore
Giving nothing
The taker
The maker of war
I'll smash your face in
But with a smile
All together
You'll never
Be stronger than me
Chorus:
I - I - I
Right here on my own
But I still rock you
I - I - I
Don't follow behind
Just leave me on the outside
I - I - I
I am standing alone
But I can shock you
I - I - I
On the edge of the blade
But no one makes the hero bleed
( No, no , no )
I am hunger
Feed my head
All together
You'll never
Never make the hero bleed
( No, no, no )
Under pressure
Locked in cages
A prisoner
The first to escape
I am wicked
I am legion
Strength in numbers
A lie
The number is one
Chorus:
I - I - I
Everything that I see is for me
Yes, I am giant
I'm a monster
Breaking windows
In houses
Buildings of glass
Rebel rebel
Holy outlaw
Ride together
Don't try it
The power's in one
Chorus:
I - I - I
I am standing alone
But I can rock you
I - I - I
On the edge of the blade
But the knife can't cut the hero down
I am virgin
I'm a whore
Giving nothing
The taker
The maker of war
I'll smash your face in
But with a smile
All together
You'll never
Be stronger than me
Chorus:
I - I - I
Right here on my own
But I still rock you
I - I - I
Don't follow behind
Just leave me on the outside
I - I - I
I am standing alone
But I can shock you
I - I - I
On the edge of the blade
But no one makes the hero bleed
( No, no , no )
I am hunger
Feed my head
All together
You'll never
Never make the hero bleed
( No, no, no )
Symphony Of Destruction - Megadeth
You take a mortal man,
And put him in control
Watch him become a god,
Watch peoples heads a'roll
A'roll...
Just like the Pied Piper
Led rats through the streets
We dance like marionettes,
Swaying to the Symphony...
Of Destruction
Acting like a robot,
It's metal brain corrodes.
You try to take it's pulse,
Before the head explodes.
Explodes...
Just like the Pied Piper
Led rats through the streets
We dance like marionettes,
Swaying to the Symphony...
Of Destruction
The earth starts to rumble
World powers fall
A'warring for the heavens,
A peaceful man stands tall
Tall...
Just like the Pied Piper
Led rats through the streets
We dance like marionettes,
Swaying to the Symphony...
Just like the Pied Piper
Led rats through the streets
We dance like marionettes,
Swaying to the Symphony...
Swaying to the Symphony...
Of Destruction
And put him in control
Watch him become a god,
Watch peoples heads a'roll
A'roll...
Just like the Pied Piper
Led rats through the streets
We dance like marionettes,
Swaying to the Symphony...
Of Destruction
Acting like a robot,
It's metal brain corrodes.
You try to take it's pulse,
Before the head explodes.
Explodes...
Just like the Pied Piper
Led rats through the streets
We dance like marionettes,
Swaying to the Symphony...
Of Destruction
The earth starts to rumble
World powers fall
A'warring for the heavens,
A peaceful man stands tall
Tall...
Just like the Pied Piper
Led rats through the streets
We dance like marionettes,
Swaying to the Symphony...
Just like the Pied Piper
Led rats through the streets
We dance like marionettes,
Swaying to the Symphony...
Swaying to the Symphony...
Of Destruction
Psychotron - Megadeth
Assassin in stealth
Assailant from Hell
Impervious to damage
Computer on-board
Engaged in a war
Non-stop combatant
Maybe not a mutant, maybe a man
Part bionic
And organic
Not a cyborg
Call him Psychotron
Burning inside
Godspeed in glide
Battle plan running
A killing machine
Just downright mean
And forever gunning
Maybe not a mutant, maybe a man
Part bionic
And organic
Not a cyborg
Call him Psychotron
Target to destroy
Arms in employ
Full assault fire threat
Sensors indicate
You will terminate
Life systems disconnect
Part bionic
And organic
Not a cyborg
Call him Psychotron
Psychotron
Assailant from Hell
Impervious to damage
Computer on-board
Engaged in a war
Non-stop combatant
Maybe not a mutant, maybe a man
Part bionic
And organic
Not a cyborg
Call him Psychotron
Burning inside
Godspeed in glide
Battle plan running
A killing machine
Just downright mean
And forever gunning
Maybe not a mutant, maybe a man
Part bionic
And organic
Not a cyborg
Call him Psychotron
Target to destroy
Arms in employ
Full assault fire threat
Sensors indicate
You will terminate
Life systems disconnect
Part bionic
And organic
Not a cyborg
Call him Psychotron
Psychotron
Stonehenge
Stonehenge is a prehistoric monument located in the English county of Wiltshire, about 2.0 miles (3.2 km) west of Amesbury and 8 miles (13 km) north of Salisbury. One of the most famous sites in the world, Stonehenge is composed of a circular setting of large standing stones set within earthworks. It is at the centre of the most dense complex of Neolithic and Bronze Age monuments in England, including several hundred burial mounds.
Archaeologists believe the stone monument was constructed anywhere from 3000 BC to 2000 BC, as described in the chronology below. Radiocarbon dating in 2008 suggested that the first stones were erected in 2400–2200 BC, whilst another theory suggests that bluestones may have been erected at the site as early as 3000 BC (see phase 1 below).
The surrounding circular earth bank and ditch, which constitute the earliest phase of the monument, have been dated to about 3100 BC. The site and its surroundings were added to the UNESCO's list of World Heritage Sites in 1986 in a co-listing with Avebury Henge monument. It is a national legally protected Scheduled Ancient Monument. Stonehenge is owned by the Crown and managed by English Heritage, while the surrounding land is owned by the National Trust.
Archaeological evidence found by the Stonehenge Riverside Project in 2008 indicates that Stonehenge could possibly have served as a burial ground from its earliest beginnings. The dating of cremated remains found on the site indicate that deposits contain human bone material from as early as 3000 BC, when the initial ditch and bank were first dug. Such deposits continued at Stonehenge for at least another 500 years. The site is a place of religious significance and pilgrimage in Neo-Druidism.
The Oxford English Dictionary cites Ælfric's 10th-century glossary, in which henge-cliff is given the meaning "precipice", or stone, thus the stanenges or Stanheng "not far from Salisbury" recorded by 11th-century writers are "supported stones". William Stukeley in 1740 notes, "Pendulous rocks are now called henges in Yorkshire...I doubt not, Stonehenge in Saxon signifies the hanging stones." Christopher Chippindale's Stonehenge Complete gives the derivation of the name Stonehenge as coming from the Old English words stān meaning "stone", and either hencg meaning "hinge" (because the stone lintels hinge on the upright stones) or hen(c)en meaning "hang" or "gallows" or "instrument of torture". Like Stonehenge's trilithons, medieval gallows consisted of two uprights with a lintel joining them, rather than the inverted L-shape more familiar today. The "henge" portion has given its name to a class of monuments known as henges. Archaeologists define henges as earthworks consisting of a circular banked enclosure with an internal ditch. As often happens in archaeological terminology, this is a holdover from antiquarian usage, and Stonehenge is not truly a henge site as its bank is inside its ditch. Despite being contemporary with true Neolithic henges and stone circles, Stonehenge is in many ways atypical – for example, at over 7.3 metres (24 ft) tall, its extant trilithons supporting lintels held in place with mortise and tenon joints, make it unique.
Mike Parker Pearson, leader of the Stonehenge Riverside Project based at Durrington Walls, noted that Stonehenge appears to have been associated with burial from the earliest period of its existence:
Stonehenge was a place of burial from its beginning to its zenith in the mid third millennium B.C. The cremation burial dating to Stonehenge's sarsen stones phase is likely just one of many from this later period of the monument's use and demonstrates that it was still very much a domain of the dead.
— Mike Parker Pearson
Stonehenge evolved in several construction phases spanning at least 1,500 years. There is evidence of large-scale construction on and around the monument that perhaps extends the landscape's time frame to 6,500 years. Dating and understanding the various phases of activity is complicated by disturbance of the natural chalk by periglacial effects and animal burrowing, poor quality early excavation records, and a lack of accurate, scientifically verified dates. The modern phasing most generally agreed to by archaeologists is detailed below. Features mentioned in the text are numbered and shown on the plan, right.
Before the monument (8000 BC forward)
Archaeologists have found four, or possibly five, large Mesolithic postholes (one may have been a natural tree throw), which date to around 8000 BC, beneath the nearby modern tourist car-park. These held pine posts around 0.75 metres (2 ft 6 in) in diameter which were erected and eventually rotted in situ. Three of the posts (and possibly four) were in an east-west alignment which may have had ritual significance; no parallels are known from Britain at the time but similar sites have been found in Scandinavia. Salisbury Plain was then still wooded but 4,000 years later, during the earlier Neolithic, people built a causewayed enclosure at Robin Hood's Ball and long barrow tombs in the surrounding landscape. In approximately 3500 BC, a Stonehenge Cursus was built 700 metres (2,300 ft) north of the site as the first farmers began to clear the trees and develop the area.
The first monument consisted of a circular bank and ditch enclosure made of Late Cretaceous (Santonian Age) Seaford Chalk, (7 and 8), measuring about 110 metres (360 ft) in diameter, with a large entrance to the north east and a smaller one to the south (14). It stood in open grassland on a slightly sloping spot. The builders placed the bones of deer and oxen in the bottom of the ditch, as well as some worked flint tools. The bones were considerably older than the antler picks used to dig the ditch, and the people who buried them had looked after them for some time prior to burial. The ditch was continuous but had been dug in sections, like the ditches of the earlier causewayed enclosures in the area. The chalk dug from the ditch was piled up to form the bank. This first stage is dated to around 3100 BC, after which the ditch began to silt up naturally. Within the outer edge of the enclosed area is a circle of 56 pits (13), each about a metre (3'3") in diameter, known as the Aubrey holes after John Aubrey, the 17th-century antiquarian who was thought to have first identified them. The pits may have contained standing timbers creating a timber circle, although there is no excavated evidence of them. A recent excavation has suggested that the Aubrey Holes may have originally been used to erect a bluestone circle. If this were the case, it would advance the earliest known stone structure at the monument by some 500 years. A small outer bank beyond the ditch could also date to this period.
Evidence of the second phase is no longer visible. The number of postholes dating to the early 3rd millennium BC suggest that some form of timber structure was built within the enclosure during this period. Further standing timbers were placed at the northeast entrance, and a parallel alignment of posts ran inwards from the southern entrance. The postholes are smaller than the Aubrey Holes, being only around 0.4 metres (16 in) in diameter, and are much less regularly spaced. The bank was purposely reduced in height and the ditch continued to silt up. At least twenty-five of the Aubrey Holes are known to have contained later, intrusive, cremation burials dating to the two centuries after the monument's inception. It seems that whatever the holes' initial function, it changed to become a funerary one during Phase 2. Thirty further cremations were placed in the enclosure's ditch and at other points within the monument, mostly in the eastern half. Stonehenge is therefore interpreted as functioning as an enclosed cremation cemetery at this time, the earliest known cremation cemetery in the British Isles. Fragments of unburnt human bone have also been found in the ditch-fill. Dating evidence is provided by the late Neolithic grooved ware pottery that has been found in connection with the features from this phase.
Archaeological excavation has indicated that around 2600 BC, the builders abandoned timber in favour of stone and dug two concentric arrays of holes (the Q and R Holes) in the centre of the site. These stone sockets are only partly known (hence on present evidence are sometimes described as forming ‘crescents’); however, they could be the remains of a double ring. Again, there is little firm dating evidence for this phase. The holes held up to 80 standing stones (shown blue on the plan), only 43 of which can be traced today. The bluestones (some of which are made of dolerite, an igneous rock), were thought for much of the 20th century to have been transported by humans from the Preseli Hills, 150 miles (240 km) away in modern-day Pembrokeshire in Wales. Another theory that has recently gained support is that they were brought much nearer to the site as glacial erratics by the Irish Sea Glacier. Other standing stones may well have been small sarsens, used later as lintels. The stones, which weighed about four tons, consisted mostly of spotted Ordovician dolerite but included examples of rhyolite, tuff and volcanic and calcareous ash; in total around 20 different rock types are represented. Each monolith measures around 2 metres (6.6 ft) in height, between 1 m and 1.5 m (3.3–4.9 ft) wide and around 0.8 metres (2.6 ft) thick. What was to become known as the Altar Stone (1), is almost certainly derived from either Carmarthenshire or the Brecon Beacons and may have stood as a single large monolith.
The north-eastern entrance was widened at this time, with the result that it precisely matched the direction of the midsummer sunrise and midwinter sunset of the period. This phase of the monument was abandoned unfinished, however; the small standing stones were apparently removed and the Q and R holes purposefully backfilled. Even so, the monument appears to have eclipsed the site at Avebury in importance towards the end of this phase.
The Heelstone (5), a Tertiary sandstone, may also have been erected outside the north-eastern entrance during this period. It cannot be accurately dated and may have been installed at any time during phase 3. At first it was accompanied by a second stone, which is no longer visible. Two, or possibly three, large portal stones were set up just inside the north-eastern entrance, of which only one, the fallen Slaughter Stone (4), 4.9 metres (16 ft) long, now remains. Other features, loosely dated to phase 3, include the four Station Stones (6), two of which stood atop mounds (2 and 3). The mounds are known as "barrows" although they do not contain burials. Stonehenge Avenue, (10), a parallel pair of ditches and banks leading 2 miles (3.2 km) to the River Avon, was also added. Two ditches similar to Heelstone Ditch circling the Heelstone (which was by then reduced to a single monolith) were later dug around the Station Stones.
Stonehenge 3 II (2600 BC to 2400 BC)
During the next major phase of activity, 30 enormous Oligocene-Miocene sarsen stones (shown grey on the plan) were brought to the site. They may have come from a quarry, around 25 miles (40 km) north of Stonehenge on the Marlborough Downs, or they may have been collected from a "litter" of sarsens on the chalk downs, closer to hand. The stones were dressed and fashioned with mortise and tenon joints before 30 were erected as a 33 metres (108 ft) diameter circle of standing stones, with a ring of 30 lintel stones resting on top. The lintels were fitted to one another using another woodworking method, the tongue and groove joint. Each standing stone was around 4.1 metres (13 ft) high, 2.1 metres (6 ft 11 in) wide and weighed around 25 tons. Each had clearly been worked with the final visual effect in mind; the orthostats widen slightly towards the top in order that their perspective remains constant when viewed from the ground, while the lintel stones curve slightly to continue the circular appearance of the earlier monument. The inward-facing surfaces of the stones are smoother and more finely worked than the outer surfaces. The average thickness of the stones is 1.1 metres (3 ft 7 in) and the average distance between them is 1 metre (3 ft 3 in). A total of 75 stones would have been needed to complete the circle (60 stones) and the trilithon horseshoe (15 stones). Unless some of the sarsens have since been removed from the site, the ring appears to have been left incomplete. The lintel stones are each around 3.2 metres (10 ft), 1 metre (3 ft 3 in) wide and 0.8 metres (2 ft 7 in) thick. The tops of the lintels are 4.9 metres (16 ft) above the ground.
Within this circle stood five trilithons of dressed sarsen stone arranged in a horseshoe shape 13.7 metres (45 ft) across with its open end facing north east. These huge stones, ten uprights and five lintels, weigh up to 50 tons each. They were linked using complex jointing. They are arranged symmetrically. The smallest pair of trilithons were around 6 metres (20 ft) tall, the next pair a little higher and the largest, single trilithon in the south west corner would have been 7.3 metres (24 ft) tall. Only one upright from the Great Trilithon still stands, of which 6.7 metres (22 ft) is visible and a further 2.4 metres (7 ft 10 in) is below ground.
The images of a 'dagger' and 14 'axeheads' have been carved on one of the sarsens, known as stone 53; further carvings of axeheads have been seen on the outer faces of stones 3, 4, and 5. The carvings are difficult to date, but are morphologically similar to late Bronze Age weapons; recent laser scanning work on the carvings supports this interpretation. The pair of trilithons in the north east are smallest, measuring around 6 metres (20 ft) in height; the largest, which is in the south west of the horseshoe, is almost 7.5 metres (25 ft) tall.
This ambitious phase has been radiocarbon dated to between 2600 and 2400 BC, slightly earlier than the Stonehenge Archer, discovered in the outer ditch of the monument in 1978, and the two sets of burials, known as the Amesbury Archer and the Boscombe Bowmen, discovered 3 miles (4.8 km) to the west. At about the same time, a large timber circle and a second avenue were constructed 2 miles (3.2 km) away at Durrington Walls overlooking the River Avon. The timber circle was orientated towards the rising sun on the midwinter solstice, opposing the solar alignments at Stonehenge, whilst the avenue was aligned with the setting sun on the summer solstice and led from the river to the timber circle. Evidence of huge fires on the banks of the Avon between the two avenues also suggests that both circles were linked, and they were perhaps used as a procession route on the longest and shortest days of the year. Parker Pearson speculates that the wooden circle at Durrington Walls was the centre of a 'land of the living', whilst the stone circle represented a 'land of the dead', with the Avon serving as a journey between the two.
Stonehenge 3 IV (2280 BC to 1930 BC)
This phase saw further rearrangement of the bluestones. They were arranged in a circle between the two rings of sarsens and in an oval at the centre of the inner ring. Some archaeologists argue that some of these bluestones were from a second group brought from Wales. All the stones formed well-spaced uprights without any of the linking lintels inferred in Stonehenge 3 III. The Altar Stone may have been moved within the oval at this time and re-erected vertically. Although this would seem the most impressive phase of work, Stonehenge 3 IV was rather shabbily built compared to its immediate predecessors, as the newly re-installed bluestones were not well-founded and began to fall over. However, only minor changes were made after this phase.
Soon afterwards, the north eastern section of the Phase 3 IV bluestone circle was removed, creating a horseshoe-shaped setting (the Bluestone Horseshoe) which mirrored the shape of the central sarsen Trilithons. This phase is contemporary with the Seahenge site in Norfolk.
After the monument (1600 BC on)
The last known construction at Stonehenge was about 1600 BC (see 'Y and Z Holes'), and the last usage of it was probably during the Iron Age. Roman coins and medieval artefacts have all been found in or around the monument but it is unknown if the monument was in continuous use throughout British prehistory and beyond, or exactly how it would have been used. Notable is the massive Iron Age hillfort Vespasian's Camp built alongside the Avenue near the Avon. A decapitated 7th century Saxon man was excavated from Stonehenge in 1923. The site was known to scholars during the Middle Ages and since then it has been studied and adopted by numerous groups.
Archaeologists believe the stone monument was constructed anywhere from 3000 BC to 2000 BC, as described in the chronology below. Radiocarbon dating in 2008 suggested that the first stones were erected in 2400–2200 BC, whilst another theory suggests that bluestones may have been erected at the site as early as 3000 BC (see phase 1 below).
The surrounding circular earth bank and ditch, which constitute the earliest phase of the monument, have been dated to about 3100 BC. The site and its surroundings were added to the UNESCO's list of World Heritage Sites in 1986 in a co-listing with Avebury Henge monument. It is a national legally protected Scheduled Ancient Monument. Stonehenge is owned by the Crown and managed by English Heritage, while the surrounding land is owned by the National Trust.
Archaeological evidence found by the Stonehenge Riverside Project in 2008 indicates that Stonehenge could possibly have served as a burial ground from its earliest beginnings. The dating of cremated remains found on the site indicate that deposits contain human bone material from as early as 3000 BC, when the initial ditch and bank were first dug. Such deposits continued at Stonehenge for at least another 500 years. The site is a place of religious significance and pilgrimage in Neo-Druidism.
The Oxford English Dictionary cites Ælfric's 10th-century glossary, in which henge-cliff is given the meaning "precipice", or stone, thus the stanenges or Stanheng "not far from Salisbury" recorded by 11th-century writers are "supported stones". William Stukeley in 1740 notes, "Pendulous rocks are now called henges in Yorkshire...I doubt not, Stonehenge in Saxon signifies the hanging stones." Christopher Chippindale's Stonehenge Complete gives the derivation of the name Stonehenge as coming from the Old English words stān meaning "stone", and either hencg meaning "hinge" (because the stone lintels hinge on the upright stones) or hen(c)en meaning "hang" or "gallows" or "instrument of torture". Like Stonehenge's trilithons, medieval gallows consisted of two uprights with a lintel joining them, rather than the inverted L-shape more familiar today. The "henge" portion has given its name to a class of monuments known as henges. Archaeologists define henges as earthworks consisting of a circular banked enclosure with an internal ditch. As often happens in archaeological terminology, this is a holdover from antiquarian usage, and Stonehenge is not truly a henge site as its bank is inside its ditch. Despite being contemporary with true Neolithic henges and stone circles, Stonehenge is in many ways atypical – for example, at over 7.3 metres (24 ft) tall, its extant trilithons supporting lintels held in place with mortise and tenon joints, make it unique.
Mike Parker Pearson, leader of the Stonehenge Riverside Project based at Durrington Walls, noted that Stonehenge appears to have been associated with burial from the earliest period of its existence:
Stonehenge was a place of burial from its beginning to its zenith in the mid third millennium B.C. The cremation burial dating to Stonehenge's sarsen stones phase is likely just one of many from this later period of the monument's use and demonstrates that it was still very much a domain of the dead.
— Mike Parker Pearson
Stonehenge evolved in several construction phases spanning at least 1,500 years. There is evidence of large-scale construction on and around the monument that perhaps extends the landscape's time frame to 6,500 years. Dating and understanding the various phases of activity is complicated by disturbance of the natural chalk by periglacial effects and animal burrowing, poor quality early excavation records, and a lack of accurate, scientifically verified dates. The modern phasing most generally agreed to by archaeologists is detailed below. Features mentioned in the text are numbered and shown on the plan, right.
Before the monument (8000 BC forward)
Archaeologists have found four, or possibly five, large Mesolithic postholes (one may have been a natural tree throw), which date to around 8000 BC, beneath the nearby modern tourist car-park. These held pine posts around 0.75 metres (2 ft 6 in) in diameter which were erected and eventually rotted in situ. Three of the posts (and possibly four) were in an east-west alignment which may have had ritual significance; no parallels are known from Britain at the time but similar sites have been found in Scandinavia. Salisbury Plain was then still wooded but 4,000 years later, during the earlier Neolithic, people built a causewayed enclosure at Robin Hood's Ball and long barrow tombs in the surrounding landscape. In approximately 3500 BC, a Stonehenge Cursus was built 700 metres (2,300 ft) north of the site as the first farmers began to clear the trees and develop the area.
The first monument consisted of a circular bank and ditch enclosure made of Late Cretaceous (Santonian Age) Seaford Chalk, (7 and 8), measuring about 110 metres (360 ft) in diameter, with a large entrance to the north east and a smaller one to the south (14). It stood in open grassland on a slightly sloping spot. The builders placed the bones of deer and oxen in the bottom of the ditch, as well as some worked flint tools. The bones were considerably older than the antler picks used to dig the ditch, and the people who buried them had looked after them for some time prior to burial. The ditch was continuous but had been dug in sections, like the ditches of the earlier causewayed enclosures in the area. The chalk dug from the ditch was piled up to form the bank. This first stage is dated to around 3100 BC, after which the ditch began to silt up naturally. Within the outer edge of the enclosed area is a circle of 56 pits (13), each about a metre (3'3") in diameter, known as the Aubrey holes after John Aubrey, the 17th-century antiquarian who was thought to have first identified them. The pits may have contained standing timbers creating a timber circle, although there is no excavated evidence of them. A recent excavation has suggested that the Aubrey Holes may have originally been used to erect a bluestone circle. If this were the case, it would advance the earliest known stone structure at the monument by some 500 years. A small outer bank beyond the ditch could also date to this period.
Evidence of the second phase is no longer visible. The number of postholes dating to the early 3rd millennium BC suggest that some form of timber structure was built within the enclosure during this period. Further standing timbers were placed at the northeast entrance, and a parallel alignment of posts ran inwards from the southern entrance. The postholes are smaller than the Aubrey Holes, being only around 0.4 metres (16 in) in diameter, and are much less regularly spaced. The bank was purposely reduced in height and the ditch continued to silt up. At least twenty-five of the Aubrey Holes are known to have contained later, intrusive, cremation burials dating to the two centuries after the monument's inception. It seems that whatever the holes' initial function, it changed to become a funerary one during Phase 2. Thirty further cremations were placed in the enclosure's ditch and at other points within the monument, mostly in the eastern half. Stonehenge is therefore interpreted as functioning as an enclosed cremation cemetery at this time, the earliest known cremation cemetery in the British Isles. Fragments of unburnt human bone have also been found in the ditch-fill. Dating evidence is provided by the late Neolithic grooved ware pottery that has been found in connection with the features from this phase.
Archaeological excavation has indicated that around 2600 BC, the builders abandoned timber in favour of stone and dug two concentric arrays of holes (the Q and R Holes) in the centre of the site. These stone sockets are only partly known (hence on present evidence are sometimes described as forming ‘crescents’); however, they could be the remains of a double ring. Again, there is little firm dating evidence for this phase. The holes held up to 80 standing stones (shown blue on the plan), only 43 of which can be traced today. The bluestones (some of which are made of dolerite, an igneous rock), were thought for much of the 20th century to have been transported by humans from the Preseli Hills, 150 miles (240 km) away in modern-day Pembrokeshire in Wales. Another theory that has recently gained support is that they were brought much nearer to the site as glacial erratics by the Irish Sea Glacier. Other standing stones may well have been small sarsens, used later as lintels. The stones, which weighed about four tons, consisted mostly of spotted Ordovician dolerite but included examples of rhyolite, tuff and volcanic and calcareous ash; in total around 20 different rock types are represented. Each monolith measures around 2 metres (6.6 ft) in height, between 1 m and 1.5 m (3.3–4.9 ft) wide and around 0.8 metres (2.6 ft) thick. What was to become known as the Altar Stone (1), is almost certainly derived from either Carmarthenshire or the Brecon Beacons and may have stood as a single large monolith.
The north-eastern entrance was widened at this time, with the result that it precisely matched the direction of the midsummer sunrise and midwinter sunset of the period. This phase of the monument was abandoned unfinished, however; the small standing stones were apparently removed and the Q and R holes purposefully backfilled. Even so, the monument appears to have eclipsed the site at Avebury in importance towards the end of this phase.
The Heelstone (5), a Tertiary sandstone, may also have been erected outside the north-eastern entrance during this period. It cannot be accurately dated and may have been installed at any time during phase 3. At first it was accompanied by a second stone, which is no longer visible. Two, or possibly three, large portal stones were set up just inside the north-eastern entrance, of which only one, the fallen Slaughter Stone (4), 4.9 metres (16 ft) long, now remains. Other features, loosely dated to phase 3, include the four Station Stones (6), two of which stood atop mounds (2 and 3). The mounds are known as "barrows" although they do not contain burials. Stonehenge Avenue, (10), a parallel pair of ditches and banks leading 2 miles (3.2 km) to the River Avon, was also added. Two ditches similar to Heelstone Ditch circling the Heelstone (which was by then reduced to a single monolith) were later dug around the Station Stones.
Stonehenge 3 II (2600 BC to 2400 BC)
During the next major phase of activity, 30 enormous Oligocene-Miocene sarsen stones (shown grey on the plan) were brought to the site. They may have come from a quarry, around 25 miles (40 km) north of Stonehenge on the Marlborough Downs, or they may have been collected from a "litter" of sarsens on the chalk downs, closer to hand. The stones were dressed and fashioned with mortise and tenon joints before 30 were erected as a 33 metres (108 ft) diameter circle of standing stones, with a ring of 30 lintel stones resting on top. The lintels were fitted to one another using another woodworking method, the tongue and groove joint. Each standing stone was around 4.1 metres (13 ft) high, 2.1 metres (6 ft 11 in) wide and weighed around 25 tons. Each had clearly been worked with the final visual effect in mind; the orthostats widen slightly towards the top in order that their perspective remains constant when viewed from the ground, while the lintel stones curve slightly to continue the circular appearance of the earlier monument. The inward-facing surfaces of the stones are smoother and more finely worked than the outer surfaces. The average thickness of the stones is 1.1 metres (3 ft 7 in) and the average distance between them is 1 metre (3 ft 3 in). A total of 75 stones would have been needed to complete the circle (60 stones) and the trilithon horseshoe (15 stones). Unless some of the sarsens have since been removed from the site, the ring appears to have been left incomplete. The lintel stones are each around 3.2 metres (10 ft), 1 metre (3 ft 3 in) wide and 0.8 metres (2 ft 7 in) thick. The tops of the lintels are 4.9 metres (16 ft) above the ground.
Within this circle stood five trilithons of dressed sarsen stone arranged in a horseshoe shape 13.7 metres (45 ft) across with its open end facing north east. These huge stones, ten uprights and five lintels, weigh up to 50 tons each. They were linked using complex jointing. They are arranged symmetrically. The smallest pair of trilithons were around 6 metres (20 ft) tall, the next pair a little higher and the largest, single trilithon in the south west corner would have been 7.3 metres (24 ft) tall. Only one upright from the Great Trilithon still stands, of which 6.7 metres (22 ft) is visible and a further 2.4 metres (7 ft 10 in) is below ground.
The images of a 'dagger' and 14 'axeheads' have been carved on one of the sarsens, known as stone 53; further carvings of axeheads have been seen on the outer faces of stones 3, 4, and 5. The carvings are difficult to date, but are morphologically similar to late Bronze Age weapons; recent laser scanning work on the carvings supports this interpretation. The pair of trilithons in the north east are smallest, measuring around 6 metres (20 ft) in height; the largest, which is in the south west of the horseshoe, is almost 7.5 metres (25 ft) tall.
This ambitious phase has been radiocarbon dated to between 2600 and 2400 BC, slightly earlier than the Stonehenge Archer, discovered in the outer ditch of the monument in 1978, and the two sets of burials, known as the Amesbury Archer and the Boscombe Bowmen, discovered 3 miles (4.8 km) to the west. At about the same time, a large timber circle and a second avenue were constructed 2 miles (3.2 km) away at Durrington Walls overlooking the River Avon. The timber circle was orientated towards the rising sun on the midwinter solstice, opposing the solar alignments at Stonehenge, whilst the avenue was aligned with the setting sun on the summer solstice and led from the river to the timber circle. Evidence of huge fires on the banks of the Avon between the two avenues also suggests that both circles were linked, and they were perhaps used as a procession route on the longest and shortest days of the year. Parker Pearson speculates that the wooden circle at Durrington Walls was the centre of a 'land of the living', whilst the stone circle represented a 'land of the dead', with the Avon serving as a journey between the two.
Stonehenge 3 IV (2280 BC to 1930 BC)
This phase saw further rearrangement of the bluestones. They were arranged in a circle between the two rings of sarsens and in an oval at the centre of the inner ring. Some archaeologists argue that some of these bluestones were from a second group brought from Wales. All the stones formed well-spaced uprights without any of the linking lintels inferred in Stonehenge 3 III. The Altar Stone may have been moved within the oval at this time and re-erected vertically. Although this would seem the most impressive phase of work, Stonehenge 3 IV was rather shabbily built compared to its immediate predecessors, as the newly re-installed bluestones were not well-founded and began to fall over. However, only minor changes were made after this phase.
Soon afterwards, the north eastern section of the Phase 3 IV bluestone circle was removed, creating a horseshoe-shaped setting (the Bluestone Horseshoe) which mirrored the shape of the central sarsen Trilithons. This phase is contemporary with the Seahenge site in Norfolk.
After the monument (1600 BC on)
The last known construction at Stonehenge was about 1600 BC (see 'Y and Z Holes'), and the last usage of it was probably during the Iron Age. Roman coins and medieval artefacts have all been found in or around the monument but it is unknown if the monument was in continuous use throughout British prehistory and beyond, or exactly how it would have been used. Notable is the massive Iron Age hillfort Vespasian's Camp built alongside the Avenue near the Avon. A decapitated 7th century Saxon man was excavated from Stonehenge in 1923. The site was known to scholars during the Middle Ages and since then it has been studied and adopted by numerous groups.
Homophobia (The reason to hate the muslims and all organized religion)
Homophobia is a range of negative attitudes and feelings toward homosexuality or people who are identified or perceived as being lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender (LGBT). Definitions refer variably to antipathy, contempt, prejudice, aversion, irrational fear, and hatred. In a 1998 address, author, activist, and civil rights leader Coretta Scott King stated that "Homophobia is like racism and anti-Semitism and other forms of bigotry in that it seeks to dehumanize a large group of people, to deny their humanity, their dignity and personhood."
Homophobia is observable in critical and hostile behavior such as discrimination and violence on the basis of sexual orientations that are non-heterosexual. According to the 2010 Hate Crimes Statistics released by the FBI National Press Office, 19.3 percent of hate crimes across the United States "were motivated by a sexual orientation bias." Moreover, in a Southern Poverty Law Center 2010 Intelligence Report extrapolating data from fourteen years (1995–2008), which had complete data available at the time, of the FBI's national hate crime statistics found that LGBT people were "far more likely than any other minority group in the United States to be victimized by violent hate crime."
Recognized types of homophobia include institutionalized homophobia, e.g. religious homophobia and state-sponsored homophobia, and internalized homophobia, experienced by people who have same-sex attractions, regardless of how they identify. Forms of homophobia toward identifiable LGBT social groups have similar yet specific names: lesbophobia – the intersection of homophobia and sexism directed against lesbians, biphobia – towards bisexuality and bisexual people, and transphobia, which targets transsexualism, transsexual and transgender people, and gender variance or gender role nonconformity.
Two words originate from homophobia: homophobic (adj.) and homophobe (n.), the latter word describing a person who displays homophobia or is thought to do so.
Homophobia manifests in different forms, and a number of different types have been postulated, among which are internalized homophobia, social homophobia, emotional homophobia, rationalized homophobia, and others. There were also ideas to classify homophobia, racism, and sexism as an intolerant personality disorder.
Homophobia has never been listed as part of a clinical taxonomy of phobias, neither in Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) or International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems (ICD); homophobia is usually used in a non-clinical sense. In 1992, the American Psychiatric Association, recognizing the power of the stigma against homosexuality, issued the following statement, reaffirmed by the Board of Trustees, July 2011: “Whereas homosexuality per se implies no impairment in judgment, stability, reliability, or general social or vocational capabilities, the American Psychiatric Association (APA) calls on all international health organizations, psychiatric organizations, and individual psychiatrists in other countries to urge the repeal in their own countries of legislation that penalizes homosexual acts by consenting adults in private. Further, APA calls on these organizations and individuals to do all that is possible to decrease the stigma related to homosexuality wherever and whenever it may occur.”
Many world religions contain anti-homosexual teachings, while other religions have varying degrees of ambivalence, neutrality, or incorporate teachings regarding homosexuals as third gender. Even within some religions which generally discourage homosexuality, there are also people who view homosexuality positively, and some religious denominations may go so far as to bless same-sex marriages. There also exist so-called Queer religions, dedicated to serving the spiritual needs of LGBTQI persons. Queer theology seeks to provide a counter-point to religious homophobia.
The Bible, especially the Old Testament, contains some passages commonly interpreted as condemning homosexuality.. Leviticus 18:22, says "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination." The destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah is also commonly seen as a condemnation of homosexuality. Christians and Jews who oppose homosexuality often cite such passages; historical context and interpretation is more complicated. Scholarly debate over the interpretation of these passages has focused on placing them in proper historical context, for instance pointing out that Sodom's sins are historically interpreted as being other than homosexuality, and on the translation of rare or unusual words in the passages in question. In Religion Dispatches magazine, Candace Chellew-Hodge notes that the six or so verses that are often cited to condemn LGBT people are referring instead to "abusive sex." She states that the Bible has no condemnation for "loving, committed, gay and lesbian relationships" and that Jesus was silent on the subject.
In some cases, the distinction between religious homophobia and state-sponsored homophobia is not clear, a key example being territories under Islamic authority. All major Islamic sects forbid homosexuality, which is a crime under Sharia Law and treated as such in most Muslim countries. In Afghanistan, for instance, homosexuality carried the death penalty under the Taliban. After their fall, homosexuality went from a capital crime to one punished with fines and prison sentences. The legal situation in the United Arab Emirates, however, is unclear.
In 2009, the International Lesbian and Gay Association (ILGA) published a report entitled State Sponsored Homophobia 2009, which is based on research carried out by Daniel Ottosson at Södertörn University College, Stockholm, Sweden. This research found that of the 80 countries around the world that continue to consider homosexuality illegal:
Five carry the death penalty for homosexual activity: Iran, Mauritania, Saudi Arabia, Sudan, Yemen. Since the 1979 Islamic revolution in Iran, the Iranian government has executed more than 4,000 people charged with homosexual acts. In Saudi Arabia, the maximum punishment for homosexuality is public execution, but the government will use other punishments – e.g., fines, jail time, whipping – and even forced sex change as alternatives, unless it feels that people engaging in homosexual activity are challenging state authority by engaging in LGBT social movements.
Two do in some regions: Nigeria, Somalia In 2001, Al-Muhajiroun, an international organization seeking the establishment of a global Islamic caliphate, issued a fatwa declaring that all members of The Al-Fatiha Foundation (which advances the cause of gay, lesbian, and transgender Muslims) were murtadd, or apostates, and condemning them to death. Because of the threat and because they come from conservative societies, many members of the foundation's site still prefer to be anonymous so as to protect their identity while continuing a tradition of secrecy.
The official teaching of the Catholic Church regarding homosexuality, with which, however, many Catholics disagree, is that same-sex behavior should not be expressed. The Catechism of the Catholic Church States that, "'homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered.'...They are contrary to the natural law.... Under no circumstances can they be approved." The Catholic Church also campaigns politically against LGBT rights.
Internalized homophobia refers to negative stereotypes, beliefs, stigma, and prejudice about homosexuality and LGBT people that a person with same-sex attraction turns inward on themselves, whether or not they identify as LGBT. The degree to which someone is affected by these ideas depends on how much and which ideas they have consciously and subconsciously internalized. These negative beliefs can be mitigated with education, life experience and therapy, especially with gay-friendly psychotherapy/analysis. Internalized homophobia also applies to conscious or unconscious behaviors which a person feels the need to promote or conform to cultural expectations of heteronormativity or heterosexism. This can include extreme repression and denial coupled with forced outward displays of heteronormative behavior for the purpose of appearing or attempting to feel "normal" or "accepted." Expressions of internalized homophobia can also be subtle. Some less overt behaviors may include making assumptions about the gender of a person's romantic partner, or about gender roles. Some researchers also apply this label to LGBT people who support "compromise" policies, such as those that find civil unions acceptable in place of same-sex marriage.
Some studies have shown that people who are homophobic are more likely to have repressed homosexual desires. In 1996, a controlled study of 64 heterosexual men (half said they were homophobic by experience, with self-reported orientation) at the University of Georgia found that men who were found to be homophobic (as measured by the Index of Homophobia) were considerably more likely to experience more erectile responses when exposed to homoerotic images than non-homophobic men. Another study in 2012 arrived at similar results when researchers found that students who came from "the most rigid anti-gay homes" were most likely to reveal repressed homosexual attraction. The researchers noted that this explained why some religious leaders who denounce homosexuality are later revealed to have secret homosexual relations. The researchers noted that "these people are at war with themselves and are turning this internal conflict outward." Researcher Iain R. Williamson, in his 1998 work "Internalized Homophobia and Health Issues Affecting Lesbians and Gay Men" finds the term homophobia to be "highly problematic" but for reasons of continuity and consistency with the majority of other publications on the issue retains its use rather than using more accurate but obscure terminology. The phrase internalized sexual stigma is sometimes used in place to represent internalized homophobia. An internalized stigma arises when a person believes negative stereotypes about themselves, regardless of where the stereotype come from. It can also refer to many stereotypes beyond sexuality and gender roles. Internalized homophobia can cause discomfort with and disapproval of one's own sexual orientation. Ego-dystonic sexual orientation or egodystonic homophobia, for instance, is a condition characterized by having a sexual orientation or an attraction that is at odds with one's idealized self-image, causing anxiety and a desire to change one's orientation or become more comfortable with one's sexual orientation. Such a situation may cause extreme repression of homosexual desires. In other cases, a conscious internal struggle may occur for some time, often pitting deeply held religious or social beliefs against strong sexual and emotional desires. This discordance can cause clinical depression, and a higher rate of suicide among LGBT youth (up to 30 percent of non-heterosexual youth attempt suicide) has been attributed to this phenomenon. Psychotherapy, such as gay affirmative psychotherapy, and participation in a sexual-minority affirming group can help resolve the internal conflicts, such as between religious beliefs and sexual identity. Even informal therapies that address understanding and accepting of non-heterosexual orientations can prove effective. Many diagnostic "Internalized Homophobia Scales" can be used to measure a person's discomfort with their sexuality and some can be used by people regardless of gender or sexual orientation. Critics of the scales note that they presume a discomfort with non-heterosexuality which in itself enforces heternormativity.
The fear of being identified as gay can be considered as a form of social homophobia. Theorists including Calvin Thomas and Judith Butler have suggested that homophobia can be rooted in an individual's fear of being identified as gay. Homophobia in men is correlated with insecurity about masculinity. For this reason, homophobia is allegedly rampant in sports, and in the subculture of its supporters that is considered stereotypically "male", such as association football and rugby.
These theorists have argued that a person who expresses homophobic thoughts and feelings does so not only to communicate their beliefs about the class of gay people, but also to distance themselves from this class and its social status. Thus, by distancing themselves from gay people, they are reaffirming their role as a heterosexual in a heteronormative culture, thereby attempting to prevent themselves from being labeled and treated as a gay person. This interpretation alludes to the idea that a person may posit violent opposition to "the Other" as a means of establishing their own identity as part of the majority and thus gaining social validation.
Nancy J. Chodorow states that homophobia can be viewed as a method of protection of male masculinity. Various psychoanalytic theories explain homophobia as a threat to an individual's own same-sex impulses, whether those impulses are imminent or merely hypothetical. This threat causes repression, denial or reaction formation.
Some gender theorists interpret the fact that male-to-male relationships often incite a stronger reaction in homophobic people than female-to-female (lesbian) as meaning that people who are homophobic feel more threatened by the perceived subversion of the male-superior gender paradigm. Many even go as far as to tolerate or embrace female homo- or bi-sexuals, while still feeling threatened by or disliking or disapproving of gay men. According to such theorists as D. A. Miller, male heterosexuality is defined not only by the desire for women but also (and more importantly) by the denial of desire for men. Therefore, expressions of homophobia serve as a means of accenting their male nature by distancing themselves from the threatening concept of their own potential femininity, and consequently belittling gay men, as not being real males. According to this theory, the reason male homosexuality is treated worse compared to female homosexuality is sexist in its underlying belief that men are superior to women and therefore for a man to "replace" a woman during intercourse with another man necessarily degrades his own masculine status.
Miller's view implies that only the receptive or submissive role in a homosexual act is regarded as emasculating, as is the case in many cultures. His specific position that male heterosexuality does not require a "desire for women" seems to preclude the possibility of asexuality or bisexuality.
Other theories of the difference in homophobic reactions to male-male rather than female-female homosexual relationships simply have to do with a common sexual desire. A heterosexual man desires women. For a woman to desire women is thus more understandable than for a man to desire men, as a heterosexual man and homosexual woman share the same desire for women, but a heterosexual man cannot understand or identify with the attraction of one man to another man. Similarly, homosexual men desire men, and thus for a man to desire men is understandable to a woman who has the same desires.
Disapproval of homosexuality and of gay people is not evenly distributed throughout society, but is more or less pronounced according to age, ethnicity, geographic location, race, sex, social class, education, partisan identification and religious status. According to UK HIV/AIDS charity AVERT, religious views, lack of homosexual feelings or experiences, and lack of interaction with gay people are strongly associated with such views.
The anxiety of heterosexual individuals (particularly adolescents whose construction of heterosexual masculinity is based in part on not being seen as gay) that others may identify them as gay has also been identified by Michael Kimmel as an example of homophobia. The taunting of boys seen as eccentric (and who are not usually gay) is said to be endemic in rural and suburban American schools, and has been associated with risk-taking behavior and outbursts of violence (such as a spate of school shootings) by boys seeking revenge or trying to assert their masculinity. Homophobic bullying is also very common in schools in the United Kingdom.
In some cases, the works of authors who merely have the word "Gay" in their name (Gay Talese, Peter Gay) or works about things also contain the name (Enola Gay) have been destroyed because of a perceived pro-homosexual bias.
In the United States, attitudes about people who are homosexual may vary on the basis of partisan identification. Republicans are far more likely than Democrats to have negative attitudes about people who are gay and lesbian, according to surveys conducted by the National Election Studies from 2000 through 2004. This disparity is shown in the graph on the right, which is from a book published in 2008 by Joseph Fried. The tendency of Republicans to view gay and lesbian people negatively could be based on homophobia, religious beliefs, or conservatism with respect to the traditional family.
Homophobia also varies by region; statistics show that the Southern United States has more reports of anti-gay prejudice than any other region in the US.
One study of white adolescent males conducted at the University of Cincinnati by Janet Baker has been used to argue that negative feelings towards gay people are also associated with other discriminatory behaviors. According to the study, hatred of gay people, anti-Semitism, and racism are "likely companions." Baker hypothesized "maybe it's a matter of power and looking down on all you think are at the bottom." A study performed in 2007 in the UK for the charity Stonewall reports that up to 90 percent of the population support anti-discrimination laws protecting gay and lesbian people.
Social constructs and culture can perpetuate homophobic attitudes. Such cultural sources in the black community include:
Music and music videos
Churches
Sources of homophobia in the white community include:
The Arts Films and literature that project negative gay stereotypes.
Churches
Professional sports in many countries involves homophobic expressions by star athletes and by fans. Incidents in the United States have included:
Hockey The homophobic chants and attitudes of certain fans, for example the labeling of one fan who frequently dances at games as "Homo Larry", have been protested by attendees of New York Rangers games and by New York City Council Speaker Christine Quinn.
Basketball All-Star National Basketball Association player Tim Hardaway drew criticism after he said on the "790 the Ticket" radio show, "Well, you know, I hate gay people. I let it be known I don’t like gay people. I don’t like to be around gay people. I’m homophobic. I don’t like it, it shouldn’t be in the world, in the United States, I don’t like it.” However, the major professional sports leagues do not advocate homophobia, and regard the LGBT community as an important marketing base.
Homophobia is observable in critical and hostile behavior such as discrimination and violence on the basis of sexual orientations that are non-heterosexual. According to the 2010 Hate Crimes Statistics released by the FBI National Press Office, 19.3 percent of hate crimes across the United States "were motivated by a sexual orientation bias." Moreover, in a Southern Poverty Law Center 2010 Intelligence Report extrapolating data from fourteen years (1995–2008), which had complete data available at the time, of the FBI's national hate crime statistics found that LGBT people were "far more likely than any other minority group in the United States to be victimized by violent hate crime."
Recognized types of homophobia include institutionalized homophobia, e.g. religious homophobia and state-sponsored homophobia, and internalized homophobia, experienced by people who have same-sex attractions, regardless of how they identify. Forms of homophobia toward identifiable LGBT social groups have similar yet specific names: lesbophobia – the intersection of homophobia and sexism directed against lesbians, biphobia – towards bisexuality and bisexual people, and transphobia, which targets transsexualism, transsexual and transgender people, and gender variance or gender role nonconformity.
Two words originate from homophobia: homophobic (adj.) and homophobe (n.), the latter word describing a person who displays homophobia or is thought to do so.
Homophobia manifests in different forms, and a number of different types have been postulated, among which are internalized homophobia, social homophobia, emotional homophobia, rationalized homophobia, and others. There were also ideas to classify homophobia, racism, and sexism as an intolerant personality disorder.
Homophobia has never been listed as part of a clinical taxonomy of phobias, neither in Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) or International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems (ICD); homophobia is usually used in a non-clinical sense. In 1992, the American Psychiatric Association, recognizing the power of the stigma against homosexuality, issued the following statement, reaffirmed by the Board of Trustees, July 2011: “Whereas homosexuality per se implies no impairment in judgment, stability, reliability, or general social or vocational capabilities, the American Psychiatric Association (APA) calls on all international health organizations, psychiatric organizations, and individual psychiatrists in other countries to urge the repeal in their own countries of legislation that penalizes homosexual acts by consenting adults in private. Further, APA calls on these organizations and individuals to do all that is possible to decrease the stigma related to homosexuality wherever and whenever it may occur.”
Many world religions contain anti-homosexual teachings, while other religions have varying degrees of ambivalence, neutrality, or incorporate teachings regarding homosexuals as third gender. Even within some religions which generally discourage homosexuality, there are also people who view homosexuality positively, and some religious denominations may go so far as to bless same-sex marriages. There also exist so-called Queer religions, dedicated to serving the spiritual needs of LGBTQI persons. Queer theology seeks to provide a counter-point to religious homophobia.
The Bible, especially the Old Testament, contains some passages commonly interpreted as condemning homosexuality.. Leviticus 18:22, says "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination." The destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah is also commonly seen as a condemnation of homosexuality. Christians and Jews who oppose homosexuality often cite such passages; historical context and interpretation is more complicated. Scholarly debate over the interpretation of these passages has focused on placing them in proper historical context, for instance pointing out that Sodom's sins are historically interpreted as being other than homosexuality, and on the translation of rare or unusual words in the passages in question. In Religion Dispatches magazine, Candace Chellew-Hodge notes that the six or so verses that are often cited to condemn LGBT people are referring instead to "abusive sex." She states that the Bible has no condemnation for "loving, committed, gay and lesbian relationships" and that Jesus was silent on the subject.
In some cases, the distinction between religious homophobia and state-sponsored homophobia is not clear, a key example being territories under Islamic authority. All major Islamic sects forbid homosexuality, which is a crime under Sharia Law and treated as such in most Muslim countries. In Afghanistan, for instance, homosexuality carried the death penalty under the Taliban. After their fall, homosexuality went from a capital crime to one punished with fines and prison sentences. The legal situation in the United Arab Emirates, however, is unclear.
In 2009, the International Lesbian and Gay Association (ILGA) published a report entitled State Sponsored Homophobia 2009, which is based on research carried out by Daniel Ottosson at Södertörn University College, Stockholm, Sweden. This research found that of the 80 countries around the world that continue to consider homosexuality illegal:
Five carry the death penalty for homosexual activity: Iran, Mauritania, Saudi Arabia, Sudan, Yemen. Since the 1979 Islamic revolution in Iran, the Iranian government has executed more than 4,000 people charged with homosexual acts. In Saudi Arabia, the maximum punishment for homosexuality is public execution, but the government will use other punishments – e.g., fines, jail time, whipping – and even forced sex change as alternatives, unless it feels that people engaging in homosexual activity are challenging state authority by engaging in LGBT social movements.
Two do in some regions: Nigeria, Somalia In 2001, Al-Muhajiroun, an international organization seeking the establishment of a global Islamic caliphate, issued a fatwa declaring that all members of The Al-Fatiha Foundation (which advances the cause of gay, lesbian, and transgender Muslims) were murtadd, or apostates, and condemning them to death. Because of the threat and because they come from conservative societies, many members of the foundation's site still prefer to be anonymous so as to protect their identity while continuing a tradition of secrecy.
The official teaching of the Catholic Church regarding homosexuality, with which, however, many Catholics disagree, is that same-sex behavior should not be expressed. The Catechism of the Catholic Church States that, "'homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered.'...They are contrary to the natural law.... Under no circumstances can they be approved." The Catholic Church also campaigns politically against LGBT rights.
Internalized homophobia refers to negative stereotypes, beliefs, stigma, and prejudice about homosexuality and LGBT people that a person with same-sex attraction turns inward on themselves, whether or not they identify as LGBT. The degree to which someone is affected by these ideas depends on how much and which ideas they have consciously and subconsciously internalized. These negative beliefs can be mitigated with education, life experience and therapy, especially with gay-friendly psychotherapy/analysis. Internalized homophobia also applies to conscious or unconscious behaviors which a person feels the need to promote or conform to cultural expectations of heteronormativity or heterosexism. This can include extreme repression and denial coupled with forced outward displays of heteronormative behavior for the purpose of appearing or attempting to feel "normal" or "accepted." Expressions of internalized homophobia can also be subtle. Some less overt behaviors may include making assumptions about the gender of a person's romantic partner, or about gender roles. Some researchers also apply this label to LGBT people who support "compromise" policies, such as those that find civil unions acceptable in place of same-sex marriage.
Some studies have shown that people who are homophobic are more likely to have repressed homosexual desires. In 1996, a controlled study of 64 heterosexual men (half said they were homophobic by experience, with self-reported orientation) at the University of Georgia found that men who were found to be homophobic (as measured by the Index of Homophobia) were considerably more likely to experience more erectile responses when exposed to homoerotic images than non-homophobic men. Another study in 2012 arrived at similar results when researchers found that students who came from "the most rigid anti-gay homes" were most likely to reveal repressed homosexual attraction. The researchers noted that this explained why some religious leaders who denounce homosexuality are later revealed to have secret homosexual relations. The researchers noted that "these people are at war with themselves and are turning this internal conflict outward." Researcher Iain R. Williamson, in his 1998 work "Internalized Homophobia and Health Issues Affecting Lesbians and Gay Men" finds the term homophobia to be "highly problematic" but for reasons of continuity and consistency with the majority of other publications on the issue retains its use rather than using more accurate but obscure terminology. The phrase internalized sexual stigma is sometimes used in place to represent internalized homophobia. An internalized stigma arises when a person believes negative stereotypes about themselves, regardless of where the stereotype come from. It can also refer to many stereotypes beyond sexuality and gender roles. Internalized homophobia can cause discomfort with and disapproval of one's own sexual orientation. Ego-dystonic sexual orientation or egodystonic homophobia, for instance, is a condition characterized by having a sexual orientation or an attraction that is at odds with one's idealized self-image, causing anxiety and a desire to change one's orientation or become more comfortable with one's sexual orientation. Such a situation may cause extreme repression of homosexual desires. In other cases, a conscious internal struggle may occur for some time, often pitting deeply held religious or social beliefs against strong sexual and emotional desires. This discordance can cause clinical depression, and a higher rate of suicide among LGBT youth (up to 30 percent of non-heterosexual youth attempt suicide) has been attributed to this phenomenon. Psychotherapy, such as gay affirmative psychotherapy, and participation in a sexual-minority affirming group can help resolve the internal conflicts, such as between religious beliefs and sexual identity. Even informal therapies that address understanding and accepting of non-heterosexual orientations can prove effective. Many diagnostic "Internalized Homophobia Scales" can be used to measure a person's discomfort with their sexuality and some can be used by people regardless of gender or sexual orientation. Critics of the scales note that they presume a discomfort with non-heterosexuality which in itself enforces heternormativity.
The fear of being identified as gay can be considered as a form of social homophobia. Theorists including Calvin Thomas and Judith Butler have suggested that homophobia can be rooted in an individual's fear of being identified as gay. Homophobia in men is correlated with insecurity about masculinity. For this reason, homophobia is allegedly rampant in sports, and in the subculture of its supporters that is considered stereotypically "male", such as association football and rugby.
These theorists have argued that a person who expresses homophobic thoughts and feelings does so not only to communicate their beliefs about the class of gay people, but also to distance themselves from this class and its social status. Thus, by distancing themselves from gay people, they are reaffirming their role as a heterosexual in a heteronormative culture, thereby attempting to prevent themselves from being labeled and treated as a gay person. This interpretation alludes to the idea that a person may posit violent opposition to "the Other" as a means of establishing their own identity as part of the majority and thus gaining social validation.
Nancy J. Chodorow states that homophobia can be viewed as a method of protection of male masculinity. Various psychoanalytic theories explain homophobia as a threat to an individual's own same-sex impulses, whether those impulses are imminent or merely hypothetical. This threat causes repression, denial or reaction formation.
Some gender theorists interpret the fact that male-to-male relationships often incite a stronger reaction in homophobic people than female-to-female (lesbian) as meaning that people who are homophobic feel more threatened by the perceived subversion of the male-superior gender paradigm. Many even go as far as to tolerate or embrace female homo- or bi-sexuals, while still feeling threatened by or disliking or disapproving of gay men. According to such theorists as D. A. Miller, male heterosexuality is defined not only by the desire for women but also (and more importantly) by the denial of desire for men. Therefore, expressions of homophobia serve as a means of accenting their male nature by distancing themselves from the threatening concept of their own potential femininity, and consequently belittling gay men, as not being real males. According to this theory, the reason male homosexuality is treated worse compared to female homosexuality is sexist in its underlying belief that men are superior to women and therefore for a man to "replace" a woman during intercourse with another man necessarily degrades his own masculine status.
Miller's view implies that only the receptive or submissive role in a homosexual act is regarded as emasculating, as is the case in many cultures. His specific position that male heterosexuality does not require a "desire for women" seems to preclude the possibility of asexuality or bisexuality.
Other theories of the difference in homophobic reactions to male-male rather than female-female homosexual relationships simply have to do with a common sexual desire. A heterosexual man desires women. For a woman to desire women is thus more understandable than for a man to desire men, as a heterosexual man and homosexual woman share the same desire for women, but a heterosexual man cannot understand or identify with the attraction of one man to another man. Similarly, homosexual men desire men, and thus for a man to desire men is understandable to a woman who has the same desires.
Disapproval of homosexuality and of gay people is not evenly distributed throughout society, but is more or less pronounced according to age, ethnicity, geographic location, race, sex, social class, education, partisan identification and religious status. According to UK HIV/AIDS charity AVERT, religious views, lack of homosexual feelings or experiences, and lack of interaction with gay people are strongly associated with such views.
The anxiety of heterosexual individuals (particularly adolescents whose construction of heterosexual masculinity is based in part on not being seen as gay) that others may identify them as gay has also been identified by Michael Kimmel as an example of homophobia. The taunting of boys seen as eccentric (and who are not usually gay) is said to be endemic in rural and suburban American schools, and has been associated with risk-taking behavior and outbursts of violence (such as a spate of school shootings) by boys seeking revenge or trying to assert their masculinity. Homophobic bullying is also very common in schools in the United Kingdom.
In some cases, the works of authors who merely have the word "Gay" in their name (Gay Talese, Peter Gay) or works about things also contain the name (Enola Gay) have been destroyed because of a perceived pro-homosexual bias.
In the United States, attitudes about people who are homosexual may vary on the basis of partisan identification. Republicans are far more likely than Democrats to have negative attitudes about people who are gay and lesbian, according to surveys conducted by the National Election Studies from 2000 through 2004. This disparity is shown in the graph on the right, which is from a book published in 2008 by Joseph Fried. The tendency of Republicans to view gay and lesbian people negatively could be based on homophobia, religious beliefs, or conservatism with respect to the traditional family.
Homophobia also varies by region; statistics show that the Southern United States has more reports of anti-gay prejudice than any other region in the US.
One study of white adolescent males conducted at the University of Cincinnati by Janet Baker has been used to argue that negative feelings towards gay people are also associated with other discriminatory behaviors. According to the study, hatred of gay people, anti-Semitism, and racism are "likely companions." Baker hypothesized "maybe it's a matter of power and looking down on all you think are at the bottom." A study performed in 2007 in the UK for the charity Stonewall reports that up to 90 percent of the population support anti-discrimination laws protecting gay and lesbian people.
Social constructs and culture can perpetuate homophobic attitudes. Such cultural sources in the black community include:
Music and music videos
Churches
Sources of homophobia in the white community include:
The Arts Films and literature that project negative gay stereotypes.
Churches
Professional sports in many countries involves homophobic expressions by star athletes and by fans. Incidents in the United States have included:
Hockey The homophobic chants and attitudes of certain fans, for example the labeling of one fan who frequently dances at games as "Homo Larry", have been protested by attendees of New York Rangers games and by New York City Council Speaker Christine Quinn.
Basketball All-Star National Basketball Association player Tim Hardaway drew criticism after he said on the "790 the Ticket" radio show, "Well, you know, I hate gay people. I let it be known I don’t like gay people. I don’t like to be around gay people. I’m homophobic. I don’t like it, it shouldn’t be in the world, in the United States, I don’t like it.” However, the major professional sports leagues do not advocate homophobia, and regard the LGBT community as an important marketing base.
Ignorant People
Ignorance is a state of being uninformed (lack of knowledge). The word ignorant is an adjective describing a person in the state of being unaware and is often used as an insult to describe individuals who deliberately ignore or disregard important information or facts. Ignoramus is commonly used in the US, the UK, and Ireland as a term for someone who is willfully ignorant.
Ignorance is distinguished from stupidity, although both can lead to "unwise" acts.
Writer Thomas Pynchon articulated about the scope and structure of one's ignorance: "Ignorance is not just a blank space on a person's mental map. It has contours and coherence, and for all I know rules of operation as well. So as a corollary to [the advice of] writing about what we know, maybe we should add getting familiar with our ignorance, and the possibilities therein for writing a good story."
The legal principle that ignorantia juris non excusat, literally "ignorance of the law is no excuse", stands for the proposition that the law applies also to those who are unaware of it.
Matters which are obvious are sometimes ignored, not taken into consideration. This phenomenon is not limited to ordinary persons without native ability but extends to the highest level of human governance resulting in nightmarish scenarios that could, with more wisdom, have been avoided.
Individuals with superficial knowledge of a topic or subject may be worse off than people who know absolutely nothing. As Charles Darwin observed, "ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge."
Ignorance can stifle learning, in that a person who falsely believes he or she is knowledgeable will not seek out clarification of his or her beliefs, but rather rely on his or her ignorant position. He or she may also reject valid but contrary information, neither realizing its importance nor understanding it. This concept is elucidated in Justin Kruger's and David Dunning's work, "Unskilled and Unaware of It: How Difficulties in Recognizing One's Own Incompetence Lead to Inflated Self-Assessments," otherwise known as the Dunning–Kruger effect.
Ignorance is distinguished from stupidity, although both can lead to "unwise" acts.
Writer Thomas Pynchon articulated about the scope and structure of one's ignorance: "Ignorance is not just a blank space on a person's mental map. It has contours and coherence, and for all I know rules of operation as well. So as a corollary to [the advice of] writing about what we know, maybe we should add getting familiar with our ignorance, and the possibilities therein for writing a good story."
The legal principle that ignorantia juris non excusat, literally "ignorance of the law is no excuse", stands for the proposition that the law applies also to those who are unaware of it.
Matters which are obvious are sometimes ignored, not taken into consideration. This phenomenon is not limited to ordinary persons without native ability but extends to the highest level of human governance resulting in nightmarish scenarios that could, with more wisdom, have been avoided.
Individuals with superficial knowledge of a topic or subject may be worse off than people who know absolutely nothing. As Charles Darwin observed, "ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge."
Ignorance can stifle learning, in that a person who falsely believes he or she is knowledgeable will not seek out clarification of his or her beliefs, but rather rely on his or her ignorant position. He or she may also reject valid but contrary information, neither realizing its importance nor understanding it. This concept is elucidated in Justin Kruger's and David Dunning's work, "Unskilled and Unaware of It: How Difficulties in Recognizing One's Own Incompetence Lead to Inflated Self-Assessments," otherwise known as the Dunning–Kruger effect.
ig·no·rant/ˈignərənt/
Adjective:
Lacking knowledge or awareness in general; uneducated or unsophisticated.
Lacking knowledge, information, or awareness about something in particular: "ignorant of astronomy".
Synonyms:
illiterate - nescient - unlettered - unlearned
Living As A Gay
In simple terms, being gay means that you are sexually attracted to members of your own sex and that you identify with other gay people or the larger gay community. Sexuality is a term used to describe a whole range of feelings, desires and actions relating to sex.
Why am I gay?
Nobody knows for sure why some of us are gay and some of us are not. Lots of theories have been put forward ranging from genetic differences to overbearing parents. The evidence so far suggests that random genetic factors play a part in determining our sexuality in the same way they play a part in determining, for example, lefthandedness.
One thing we do know is that no-one chooses their sexuality. Some gay people knew they were different, if not gay, from as young as five or six. It is said that, for most of us, our sexuality is determined by the age of 12 or 13 and probably 16 at the latest. By and large, society tends to assume that everyone is, or wants to be, heterosexual. This is known as heterosexism. Some people continue to believe that it is a choice and that we can be persuaded into heterosexuality. By assuming heterosexuality, society gives rise to the dilemma, for those of us who know we are gay, of whether to hide our sexuality or to come out - with all that this entails.
There have been small but perceptible changes in the way British society views homosexuality, but there is a long way to go before it will accept us in the same way as it does people who are, say, lefthanded. This has more to do with society's hang-ups around sex and sexuality than individual gay people. Often, once people know someone who is gay, their prejudices and fears about homosexuality disappear all together.
Growing up gay
For many young gay or bisexual people, adolescence can be a time of particular anxiety and fear. Many lesbians and gay men look back on this part of their lives with sadness and regret. There are very few positive gay role models and a lot of hostility towards openly gay people. Gay teenagers often become painfully aware that they are not like other people and many become withdrawn and lonely, convinced that only they are feeling this way. They learn to hide their true feelings or act as others want them to, for fear of being ostracised, ridiculed or rejected by loved ones and friends.
Above all, there can be a sense that we are somehow different, that we are abnormal and that we are going to disappoint people.
Some people believe that if they get married their gay feelings will disappear. It is unusual for this to happen. Most store up a great deal of stress and anxiety for their later years. Coming out as a gay parent has particular challenges. Breaking out of a clearly defined role, or even attempting to shift the definition of it, involves tremendous courage and strength. The conflict between their relationship with their spouse and family and their need to be themselves can be enormous.
Coming out
There are several stages in the process of coming out. It's your life so take your time - do things for you and only when you are ready.
Coming out to yourself
Acknowledging that you are gay can take many years. Some of us probably hoped these feelings were "just a phase". In time, we realise that these feelings are not just a phase and we have to find a way of accepting them and dealing with the fact that we are sexually attracted to members of our own sex.
This realisation is the first stage of coming out. There is no hard and fast rule when this point is reached. For some it happens in their teens, for others it may happen much later in life.
Some people describe this time of accepting their sexuality as though they were riding an emotional rollercoaster. One day they felt happy and confident and ready to tell everyone; the next they felt confused, scared and relieved that they hadn't. You may want to talk to someone who understands what this is like.
So you still want to come out?
This is a nerve racking time - the fear of rejection is likely to be immense. Bear in mind that there are many ways to tell someone that you are gay.
It may be helpful to ask yourself some of the questions that come up later in this guide, as it is more than likely that others will ask you them at some point. Don't rehearse your answers but think of your reasons - it will make you and your discussions stronger and more assured.
The next stage involves going public in some way, of "coming out of the closet". Who you tell next is really up to you. You may decide to tell your best friend or a member of your family.
Remember, once you have told someone about your sexuality it can become known to others within a short period. This is human nature and there is very little you can do to prevent this. If you are resolved to deal with any negativity that this disclosure may bring, you will be sufficiently prepared for it.
Why do I want to come out?
This is the most important question to ask yourself. If you answer something like: "Because I'm proud of who I am" or "It is impossible to become a fully happy human being if my sexuality remains suppressed" or "I want to meet other gay people" then these are good reasons. Think very carefully if your reasoning is to hurt or shock people. Often the person who gets hurt will be you.
Who should I tell?
Many gay people describe how important it is to first tell someone outside the family. Make sure it's someone you trust and who you believe to be open minded and supportive. Be careful if you decide to confide in a teacher at school - they may be obliged to tell someone else what you have told them. Find out the school policy on confidentiality before you go ahead.
If you have decided to tell your family it may be easier to talk to one parent before the other. You could then ask them for help to approach the other. Sometimes brothers and sisters are a good starting point as they are likely to understand more about homosexuality or bisexuality. Make sure you understand why you are going to tell them. One of the best reasons to come out to your family is to become closer to them.
There are a number of typical responses that parents, particularly, are known to say: "How can you be sure?", "I went through a phase like this at your age", "You'll grow out of it", "You haven't tried hard enough with the opposite sex" and "How can you know at your age?"
We have listed them here because they may help you to think of your answers to them. You might find it helpful to discuss these questions first with a trusted friend or a lesbian and gay helpline or switchboard.
Support for your family
This can be a traumatic time for some members of your family. You may feel unable to answer all their questions or to deal with all of the issues that come up for them. They, in turn, may not feel comfortable talking about homosexuality or bisexuality with you. There are several organisations that offer support to parents who are coming to terms with their sons' and daughters' sexuality. FFLAG (Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) produce booklets specially written for parents.
This can be a difficult time if your happiness is dependent to some degree on your family's reaction. If this is the case for you, we would advise that you talk it over with someone who has been through it already - perhaps your local gay switchboard or helpline.
How should I tell them?
There is no rule that says you have to sit down and talk to others about this, there are other ways.
You might like to write to them first and give them time to react in their own way. This is probably a better approach if, for example, you live a long way from your family or friends. Remember that you have probably taken a long time to get used to the idea yourself and others might need the same amount of time. Writing a letter allows you to take your time and to compose your thoughts carefully and clearly. It can also give the person you are writing to space to react and consider the news before discussing it with you. This could be a useful approach if you are expecting a very hostile or negative reaction.
If you decide to talk face to face, remember not to rush it or to do it when one of you is in a hurry or distracted. It probably won't help to memorise a script either - you can guarantee that some people do not respond in a predictable manner. If you are worried about their reaction, tell them of your fears and that you don't want to hurt them but need to be honest with them. Remember to listen to what they have to say - it should be along the lines of a chat, not a speech!
When should I tell them?
When it comes to coming out, timing is an important consideration. Choose the moment carefully - do it when you (and they) have lots of time - not last thing at night when you are likely to be more tired and emotional.
Think about the way you are feeling, allowing for nerves, which are perfectly natural under the circumstances, don't do it if you are feeling angry or emotionally sensitive - this will affect what you say and how you say it. For obvious reasons don't do it when you are drunk (even if you think you need a drink to steady your nerves).
And remember - only when you are good and ready. A friend once said that he knew he was ready to tell his family only when he realised that, if he had to, he could live without their support. Fortunately for him (and his family) this didn't happen.
Consequences and reactions
So you've told someone. You are either balancing on the edge of an erupting volcano or dancing with joy on the moon (or both!). Some people describe a huge weight being lifted from their shoulders, of feeling euphoric and giggly and childlike again.
Don't feel guilty about it - go on and enjoy yourself, you deserve it. The thrill of revealing something long kept hidden can give a tremendous sense of relief.
Use this new found energy wisely and remember that close friends and family may be worried that you have changed out of all recognition. Reassure them that you have changed - and for the better and that you are simply exploring a new, more complete you.
Most people will experience many positive reactions. For example, "We're so pleased you could tell us" or "Well we had already guessed and were just waiting for you to say something". Some gay people have also met with the response, "So am I".
"My parents refused to talk about it. They dismissed it and said they didn't want the subject brought up again. I decided that I was going to continue to live my life as a gay man. I stopped going home as often as I used to and attending family occasions. It is only now, three years later, that they have begun to broach the subject with me."
If it hasn't gone too well - don't lose heart. Time is a great healer and things will get better. If you are experiencing rejection from some close friends, ask yourself if they were really so close that they couldn't support you through this. If your family is reacting badly, this is in all probability, normal. They may be experiencing a whole range of emotions including shock, grief, guilt, blame, disappointment and lots of pain.
"My family say that they accept that I am gay but they don't want to see me being affectionate with another man. They say that they won't be able to cope with it."
Remember how long it took for you to come to terms with being gay. Many parents will feel a loss in some way - perhaps of future grandchildren or weddings and other family gatherings. This can blur their happiness and their love for you.
"I was at a wedding recently and everyone was there with their partners. I was upset that I couldn't bring mine. Everyone asked the usual embarrassing questions about girlfriends and I just had to smile and make excuses. I didn't want to row with my family about it but it's just not fair."
At the end of the day, your parents are still your parents and, in time, few reject their children because they are gay.
"My dad said, "You're still my son and I'm proud of you." He'd been very homophobic up to then."
If they go quiet on you, give them time to react and the opportunity to think about what you have told them. If they ask lots of questions, it's a good sign. It may help to think of it as though it is in your interests to respond to them - they are likely to be the same ones that you have asked yourself many times along the way.
If things are so bad that you feel like giving up with the whole process of coming out, it's important to talk to someone about your fears and concerns. Again your local switchboard, helpline or Gay Men's Health Project can offer you support and guidance.
It's probably better to persevere and keep going, after all, you have come this far and in many ways it would be difficult or impossible to go back now. The next person you talk to will probably give you a huge hug and say that they were relieved that you had found the courage to tell them and that they had suspected that something may have been on your mind for a long time.
Coming out at work
Gay people have received legal protection from discrimination in employment since December 2003, but this does not mean that discrimination on the basis of a person’s sexual orientation has been eliminated. In particular, gay employees can still face problems in religion-based organisations.
The Armed Forces
The ban on gay people in the armed services was officially lifted in 2000.
Prisons
In some prisons where the prison culture is particularly homophobic, gay prisoners, including those on remand, risk harassment, abuse and violence.
Telling your doctor
It is worth mentioning, too, that if you disclose your sexuality to your general practitioner (doctor), they may record these details in your medical records. These medical records can be accessed by a range of organisations for many different purposes.
There comes a time to stop talking and to get on with living your (new) life exactly how you want to. It's time to meet other gay and bisexual people and to explore your sexuality safely and confidently.
A common reaction to this statement, especially in rural areas is, "Fine - but where do I start?" Remember that being gay is about expressing yourself in the way YOU want to. Despite the stereotypes, there is no single way of being gay. We are all as different as any other group of people.
Going out with friends and meeting new ones at clubs or parties can be great. But the scene isn't for everybody and it's not everything there is to being gay. Most towns and cities have gay social groups and gay men's health projects. These can be excellent places to meet new people and to find out what there is to do locally and most will arrange to meet first time visitors beforehand.
As with any group of people, there will be some you get on with and some you won't. If you feel that you have little in common with the gay people you have met so far, you could try different ways of contacting more gay men, for example as pen pals, or through the many special interest gay groups (like gay men's choirs or gay football supporters networks) - look them up in Gay Times.
Healthy lives and ...
There's no doubt that having a positive attitude towards yourself goes a long way to keeping healthy. It's also important, in whatever you do, that you look after yourself and consider your actions in relation to others.
This is particularly useful advice when it comes to sex. Whether it's a relationship or a one night stand, sex with another man can feel great and should make us feel good about who we are. Sex with other men can be whatever you want it to be and it's important to be clear about what you do want to do and what you don't. As with anything, people have their likes and dislikes and it's important that you talk them over with your sexual partner.
... safer sex
In the United Kingdom, HIV (the virus that is believed to be the cause of AIDS) affects more gay men than any other group and this can make us anxious about sex. But once we know how we can protect ourselves and our partners, we can relax and enjoy ourselves. HIV cannot be passed on through wanking, kissing, touching or hugging. The risk of transmitting HIV through oral sex (cock sucking) is believed to be very low but if either of you have cuts or sores in the mouth you should use condoms (flavoured ones taste much better).
Anal sex (fucking), is the riskiest activity as far as transmitting HIV is concerned but by using suitable condoms and lubricant every time you fuck you can substantially reduce the risk. Suitable condoms for fucking are: Mates Superstrong, Durex UltraStrong, H.T. Special, GaySafe and Boy's Own. Of course, there is still a risk if the condom breaks, leaks or comes off. Lubricant is essential as it makes it safer and easier, so always use plenty of water based lube such as KY or Liquid Silk. Don't use oils, creams or lotions such as Vaseline or baby oil as they weaken the rubber in condoms in seconds.
You can obtain suitable condoms free of charge from Gay Men's Health Projects, some gay bars and clubs, Family Planning Clinics, some Youth Advisory Services and local GUM (Clap/VD/STD) clinics. Check the Yellow Pages for the clinic addresses if you are unsure where the nearest ones to you are.
While on the subject of sexually transmited diseases, it is worth mentioning that Hepatitis B is far more prevalent than HIV among gay men and it is much easier to become infected with it. The good news is that there is a vaccine against Hepatitis B and you can get vaccinated free of charge at your local GUM clinic.
Why am I gay?
Nobody knows for sure why some of us are gay and some of us are not. Lots of theories have been put forward ranging from genetic differences to overbearing parents. The evidence so far suggests that random genetic factors play a part in determining our sexuality in the same way they play a part in determining, for example, lefthandedness.
One thing we do know is that no-one chooses their sexuality. Some gay people knew they were different, if not gay, from as young as five or six. It is said that, for most of us, our sexuality is determined by the age of 12 or 13 and probably 16 at the latest. By and large, society tends to assume that everyone is, or wants to be, heterosexual. This is known as heterosexism. Some people continue to believe that it is a choice and that we can be persuaded into heterosexuality. By assuming heterosexuality, society gives rise to the dilemma, for those of us who know we are gay, of whether to hide our sexuality or to come out - with all that this entails.
There have been small but perceptible changes in the way British society views homosexuality, but there is a long way to go before it will accept us in the same way as it does people who are, say, lefthanded. This has more to do with society's hang-ups around sex and sexuality than individual gay people. Often, once people know someone who is gay, their prejudices and fears about homosexuality disappear all together.
Growing up gay
For many young gay or bisexual people, adolescence can be a time of particular anxiety and fear. Many lesbians and gay men look back on this part of their lives with sadness and regret. There are very few positive gay role models and a lot of hostility towards openly gay people. Gay teenagers often become painfully aware that they are not like other people and many become withdrawn and lonely, convinced that only they are feeling this way. They learn to hide their true feelings or act as others want them to, for fear of being ostracised, ridiculed or rejected by loved ones and friends.
Above all, there can be a sense that we are somehow different, that we are abnormal and that we are going to disappoint people.
Some people believe that if they get married their gay feelings will disappear. It is unusual for this to happen. Most store up a great deal of stress and anxiety for their later years. Coming out as a gay parent has particular challenges. Breaking out of a clearly defined role, or even attempting to shift the definition of it, involves tremendous courage and strength. The conflict between their relationship with their spouse and family and their need to be themselves can be enormous.
Coming out
There are several stages in the process of coming out. It's your life so take your time - do things for you and only when you are ready.
Coming out to yourself
Acknowledging that you are gay can take many years. Some of us probably hoped these feelings were "just a phase". In time, we realise that these feelings are not just a phase and we have to find a way of accepting them and dealing with the fact that we are sexually attracted to members of our own sex.
This realisation is the first stage of coming out. There is no hard and fast rule when this point is reached. For some it happens in their teens, for others it may happen much later in life.
Some people describe this time of accepting their sexuality as though they were riding an emotional rollercoaster. One day they felt happy and confident and ready to tell everyone; the next they felt confused, scared and relieved that they hadn't. You may want to talk to someone who understands what this is like.
So you still want to come out?
This is a nerve racking time - the fear of rejection is likely to be immense. Bear in mind that there are many ways to tell someone that you are gay.
It may be helpful to ask yourself some of the questions that come up later in this guide, as it is more than likely that others will ask you them at some point. Don't rehearse your answers but think of your reasons - it will make you and your discussions stronger and more assured.
The next stage involves going public in some way, of "coming out of the closet". Who you tell next is really up to you. You may decide to tell your best friend or a member of your family.
Remember, once you have told someone about your sexuality it can become known to others within a short period. This is human nature and there is very little you can do to prevent this. If you are resolved to deal with any negativity that this disclosure may bring, you will be sufficiently prepared for it.
Why do I want to come out?
This is the most important question to ask yourself. If you answer something like: "Because I'm proud of who I am" or "It is impossible to become a fully happy human being if my sexuality remains suppressed" or "I want to meet other gay people" then these are good reasons. Think very carefully if your reasoning is to hurt or shock people. Often the person who gets hurt will be you.
Who should I tell?
Many gay people describe how important it is to first tell someone outside the family. Make sure it's someone you trust and who you believe to be open minded and supportive. Be careful if you decide to confide in a teacher at school - they may be obliged to tell someone else what you have told them. Find out the school policy on confidentiality before you go ahead.
If you have decided to tell your family it may be easier to talk to one parent before the other. You could then ask them for help to approach the other. Sometimes brothers and sisters are a good starting point as they are likely to understand more about homosexuality or bisexuality. Make sure you understand why you are going to tell them. One of the best reasons to come out to your family is to become closer to them.
There are a number of typical responses that parents, particularly, are known to say: "How can you be sure?", "I went through a phase like this at your age", "You'll grow out of it", "You haven't tried hard enough with the opposite sex" and "How can you know at your age?"
We have listed them here because they may help you to think of your answers to them. You might find it helpful to discuss these questions first with a trusted friend or a lesbian and gay helpline or switchboard.
Support for your family
This can be a traumatic time for some members of your family. You may feel unable to answer all their questions or to deal with all of the issues that come up for them. They, in turn, may not feel comfortable talking about homosexuality or bisexuality with you. There are several organisations that offer support to parents who are coming to terms with their sons' and daughters' sexuality. FFLAG (Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) produce booklets specially written for parents.
This can be a difficult time if your happiness is dependent to some degree on your family's reaction. If this is the case for you, we would advise that you talk it over with someone who has been through it already - perhaps your local gay switchboard or helpline.
How should I tell them?
There is no rule that says you have to sit down and talk to others about this, there are other ways.
You might like to write to them first and give them time to react in their own way. This is probably a better approach if, for example, you live a long way from your family or friends. Remember that you have probably taken a long time to get used to the idea yourself and others might need the same amount of time. Writing a letter allows you to take your time and to compose your thoughts carefully and clearly. It can also give the person you are writing to space to react and consider the news before discussing it with you. This could be a useful approach if you are expecting a very hostile or negative reaction.
If you decide to talk face to face, remember not to rush it or to do it when one of you is in a hurry or distracted. It probably won't help to memorise a script either - you can guarantee that some people do not respond in a predictable manner. If you are worried about their reaction, tell them of your fears and that you don't want to hurt them but need to be honest with them. Remember to listen to what they have to say - it should be along the lines of a chat, not a speech!
When should I tell them?
When it comes to coming out, timing is an important consideration. Choose the moment carefully - do it when you (and they) have lots of time - not last thing at night when you are likely to be more tired and emotional.
Think about the way you are feeling, allowing for nerves, which are perfectly natural under the circumstances, don't do it if you are feeling angry or emotionally sensitive - this will affect what you say and how you say it. For obvious reasons don't do it when you are drunk (even if you think you need a drink to steady your nerves).
And remember - only when you are good and ready. A friend once said that he knew he was ready to tell his family only when he realised that, if he had to, he could live without their support. Fortunately for him (and his family) this didn't happen.
Consequences and reactions
So you've told someone. You are either balancing on the edge of an erupting volcano or dancing with joy on the moon (or both!). Some people describe a huge weight being lifted from their shoulders, of feeling euphoric and giggly and childlike again.
Don't feel guilty about it - go on and enjoy yourself, you deserve it. The thrill of revealing something long kept hidden can give a tremendous sense of relief.
Use this new found energy wisely and remember that close friends and family may be worried that you have changed out of all recognition. Reassure them that you have changed - and for the better and that you are simply exploring a new, more complete you.
Most people will experience many positive reactions. For example, "We're so pleased you could tell us" or "Well we had already guessed and were just waiting for you to say something". Some gay people have also met with the response, "So am I".
"My parents refused to talk about it. They dismissed it and said they didn't want the subject brought up again. I decided that I was going to continue to live my life as a gay man. I stopped going home as often as I used to and attending family occasions. It is only now, three years later, that they have begun to broach the subject with me."
If it hasn't gone too well - don't lose heart. Time is a great healer and things will get better. If you are experiencing rejection from some close friends, ask yourself if they were really so close that they couldn't support you through this. If your family is reacting badly, this is in all probability, normal. They may be experiencing a whole range of emotions including shock, grief, guilt, blame, disappointment and lots of pain.
"My family say that they accept that I am gay but they don't want to see me being affectionate with another man. They say that they won't be able to cope with it."
Remember how long it took for you to come to terms with being gay. Many parents will feel a loss in some way - perhaps of future grandchildren or weddings and other family gatherings. This can blur their happiness and their love for you.
"I was at a wedding recently and everyone was there with their partners. I was upset that I couldn't bring mine. Everyone asked the usual embarrassing questions about girlfriends and I just had to smile and make excuses. I didn't want to row with my family about it but it's just not fair."
At the end of the day, your parents are still your parents and, in time, few reject their children because they are gay.
"My dad said, "You're still my son and I'm proud of you." He'd been very homophobic up to then."
If they go quiet on you, give them time to react and the opportunity to think about what you have told them. If they ask lots of questions, it's a good sign. It may help to think of it as though it is in your interests to respond to them - they are likely to be the same ones that you have asked yourself many times along the way.
If things are so bad that you feel like giving up with the whole process of coming out, it's important to talk to someone about your fears and concerns. Again your local switchboard, helpline or Gay Men's Health Project can offer you support and guidance.
It's probably better to persevere and keep going, after all, you have come this far and in many ways it would be difficult or impossible to go back now. The next person you talk to will probably give you a huge hug and say that they were relieved that you had found the courage to tell them and that they had suspected that something may have been on your mind for a long time.
Coming out at work
Gay people have received legal protection from discrimination in employment since December 2003, but this does not mean that discrimination on the basis of a person’s sexual orientation has been eliminated. In particular, gay employees can still face problems in religion-based organisations.
The Armed Forces
The ban on gay people in the armed services was officially lifted in 2000.
Prisons
In some prisons where the prison culture is particularly homophobic, gay prisoners, including those on remand, risk harassment, abuse and violence.
Telling your doctor
It is worth mentioning, too, that if you disclose your sexuality to your general practitioner (doctor), they may record these details in your medical records. These medical records can be accessed by a range of organisations for many different purposes.
There comes a time to stop talking and to get on with living your (new) life exactly how you want to. It's time to meet other gay and bisexual people and to explore your sexuality safely and confidently.
A common reaction to this statement, especially in rural areas is, "Fine - but where do I start?" Remember that being gay is about expressing yourself in the way YOU want to. Despite the stereotypes, there is no single way of being gay. We are all as different as any other group of people.
Going out with friends and meeting new ones at clubs or parties can be great. But the scene isn't for everybody and it's not everything there is to being gay. Most towns and cities have gay social groups and gay men's health projects. These can be excellent places to meet new people and to find out what there is to do locally and most will arrange to meet first time visitors beforehand.
As with any group of people, there will be some you get on with and some you won't. If you feel that you have little in common with the gay people you have met so far, you could try different ways of contacting more gay men, for example as pen pals, or through the many special interest gay groups (like gay men's choirs or gay football supporters networks) - look them up in Gay Times.
Healthy lives and ...
There's no doubt that having a positive attitude towards yourself goes a long way to keeping healthy. It's also important, in whatever you do, that you look after yourself and consider your actions in relation to others.
This is particularly useful advice when it comes to sex. Whether it's a relationship or a one night stand, sex with another man can feel great and should make us feel good about who we are. Sex with other men can be whatever you want it to be and it's important to be clear about what you do want to do and what you don't. As with anything, people have their likes and dislikes and it's important that you talk them over with your sexual partner.
... safer sex
In the United Kingdom, HIV (the virus that is believed to be the cause of AIDS) affects more gay men than any other group and this can make us anxious about sex. But once we know how we can protect ourselves and our partners, we can relax and enjoy ourselves. HIV cannot be passed on through wanking, kissing, touching or hugging. The risk of transmitting HIV through oral sex (cock sucking) is believed to be very low but if either of you have cuts or sores in the mouth you should use condoms (flavoured ones taste much better).
Anal sex (fucking), is the riskiest activity as far as transmitting HIV is concerned but by using suitable condoms and lubricant every time you fuck you can substantially reduce the risk. Suitable condoms for fucking are: Mates Superstrong, Durex UltraStrong, H.T. Special, GaySafe and Boy's Own. Of course, there is still a risk if the condom breaks, leaks or comes off. Lubricant is essential as it makes it safer and easier, so always use plenty of water based lube such as KY or Liquid Silk. Don't use oils, creams or lotions such as Vaseline or baby oil as they weaken the rubber in condoms in seconds.
You can obtain suitable condoms free of charge from Gay Men's Health Projects, some gay bars and clubs, Family Planning Clinics, some Youth Advisory Services and local GUM (Clap/VD/STD) clinics. Check the Yellow Pages for the clinic addresses if you are unsure where the nearest ones to you are.
While on the subject of sexually transmited diseases, it is worth mentioning that Hepatitis B is far more prevalent than HIV among gay men and it is much easier to become infected with it. The good news is that there is a vaccine against Hepatitis B and you can get vaccinated free of charge at your local GUM clinic.
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