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Sunday, 7 October 2012

Teaching Aaron Part 16. - If You Dont Know What You Are Doing... Dont Do It

Fishing... You Must Learn!

Fishing... the lazy mans sport... or just a way of letting you sit down for hours at the side of a lake and wallow in the beauty of peace and quiet?

Well son... today we are going to catch some really big fish yeah?

Right dad.... are we going to eat them?

No son... we will put them back again at the end of the day

So why are we catching them then?

Sport... enjoyment... pleasure... and a bit of fun together

Oh great...

Right... check list... rods, tackle, bait, seats, tent, spindles, drinks and snacks, nets, catch nets... all here... so son... first of all put that maggot on that hook like i showed you

Erm... maggot? me? touch?... you serious?

Ok i will do that... there we go... now cast it out!

Son?

What?

You were supposed to hold on to the rod when you cast it...

Oh

Never mind... it will come back to the shore in a few hours... i guess

So we now have the rods cast.. the bait is in waiting for a big fish to take a bite....

Then what?

We reel it in of course

Ok

a few hours pass and then the rod moves... the spindle starts letting out the line....

We got one! ooo! ooo! ooo! we have one!... dad jumps for joy

Ok! ok! ok! what do i do?

Right take the rod

Ok

And give it a smart tug and reel that baby in!

... Son....

What dad?

I said gentle... you are supposed to leave the fishes face still attached to the rest of its body....

Oh dear...

...And you now have to climb that tree up there and get our hook and line back... and whilst you are at it... see if you can get that fish head out of that birds nest also

Ok dad...

Dad?

What now?

Did you see that fish's face when it left the water? That sort of fixed wild stare as it all of a sudden left the reeds and flew at 100mph to the clouds?

Eels are the best though... you catch an eel and you are in for a nice battle of sweat and fear.... the snakes of the fresh water they can put up a fight and a half.... especially when one gets launched across the trees behind you and ends up on someones lap in the quarry next door....

Son... we really need to practice that sharp tug of yours....

The best part is the catapult... for spreading the bait out around you to lure the fish in.... in capable hands... it could be the difference between plenty of catch and nothing at all... but make sure your son won't have a chance at using it...

... i think it has something to do with the 50 maggots that ended up on the other side of the lake in that womans hair.... it wasn't her fault she let out that obscenity... she only went along with her husband to spend the day in the sunshine reading Mills and Boon...

Then all of a sudden it rained maggots all over her beehive hair do... the husband fell in the lake when she grabbed him screaming... the kids up ended on their deck chairs throwing their rice crispies over their faces... and out of hysterics that fisherman next to him who was in stiff competition is now laughing so hard.... the fish are on our side of the lake...

Son...

What? it wasn't my fault! i could have sworn my aim was much lower!

Don't worry son... you did good... just put the catapult down and read your comic.. yeah?

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