My Life In brief
I was born in November 1977. Swindon,
UK. I have 2 Sisters and
a Half Brother. I am the youngest. I come from a military background, most of
my family served and even died in various wars over the generations. My childhood
was mainly in 6 month blocks. Always moving around. Both my parents were in the
Military. When I was 7 years old, September 1985, I was placed in Boarding
School. An all-boy’s boarding school, which I stayed in until 1991. I was 14
when I left. Now, back in normal school, I had to change my whole life around.
If you have ever been to boarding school, you will know how different they are,
normal school vs. boarding school.
For a start. I am gay. I found this out when I was around 11
years old. But that is another story. In boarding school you can be gay, not
open, not out to the world, but you can be gay with your actions and no one
notices. Seeing how most boys there were either gay or camp or so girly. But in
normal school, you stand out.
So, I became rebellious. I went against the norm. Sticking
my two fingers up to rules and good behavior. This was mainly to hide the fact I
was a big girly kid. I had to toughen up, even though I was the toughest kid on
the block anyway, has most of these kids never spent the best part of 8 months
in a school without seeing their parents or playing with their favorite toy at
aged 7 years 10 months did they?!
I toughened up that first week I was at boarding school,
then.. I became a man. Hiding the tears, hiding the pains, the homesickness,
never show emotions, never show weakness. Take it like a man. Take the
beatings. Take the torture. Accept the thefts of your reminders of home. So this
normal school.. these kids don’t know what the fuck life is yet. But I did.
So, from aged 14 to aged 16 I went to a normal comprehensive
school. Passed my exams. Left school in that hot June of 1994. and joined the
Military. 3rd August 1994
I got on “that blue bus” to go to recruit training. The boy entrant. The youngest
of the bus load. Almost 17 years old. It was at recruit training that I met my
future wife.
Yeah, I did say I was gay. I know. But I went through a
bisexual stage. I wanted to change and be normal. So I tried my hand at heterosexuality.
But more on that later.
January 1995. I was 17 years and 3 months old. I was
married. We were moved into married quarters, very quickly I might add.. it was
a “strange” time back then, usually it takes years. Maybe
Gulf War 1 was making a few empty
homes back at the base. So, we moved in. and My Son was born 5th November 1997. So much
for my homosexual side. I was now a father.
It took two years to have my son. But the reason for that
was I was being detached and posted all over the world almost. And we never
found the time. In 1996 I had finally found the time. So we started trying, and
succeeded.
By December 1997. We were filing for a divorce.
My homosexuality couldn’t be kept at bay, I made the mistake
of looking at adult male porn on the computer. Granted.. not much back then,
the internet was only just started. I can’t remember what site it was. But, it
was enough.
Her parents and my wife wanted this to be over with quickly.
The divorce wasn’t clean, but it was done fast. She took my son, the photos,
most of the memorabilia, and basically left me with the married quarter almost
empty. She was only a civilian administrator so, she basically left. I was
stuck where I was as I was a serving member of the armed forces.
1998. I was 21 years old. My son was a few months old by
now. And the military were telling me to leave the married quarter as I was no
longer entitled. I had two choices, find my own place to live, or live in their
single mans accommodation. I chose, my own place.
Mentally, at this time I was a little pissed off, depressed,
unsure about myself, questioning my self, my sexuality. As you can imagine, I was
all over the place. I spent most evenings sat in a bare married quarter trying
to finalize the deal on my new home.. the paperwork too ages. But eventually
they came through. I was going to be moving in a months time. So, I was pretty
unsure of myself. I needed to get out and do something. Take up a hobby. I was
missing my son, the parental desire to raise him. I love my son. So I thought,
hey, I can be a good dad. I can look after a kids. I will do my best. I can be
that man.
With excitement. I joined the local “Weekend Getaway” club. Its
not a scout group, but they do scout things. Camping, canoeing, rock climbing,
hiking, pioneering.. that sort of things. Its designed for kids who have
military parents (mainly) where they can go and do activities whilst their parents
are working throughout any holidays. But it was predominantly a youth club. It
was stationed outside the base. In the local town. In a wooden hut. Quiet large.
It was also the scout hut and the CCF (Army Cadet Force) hut.. funded by the
military and ran by civilians.
Mostly, Friday nights and Saturdays, when no activity is
planned or no camp organized, it was a case of the local kids. Military and
civilian would come down, pay their 20p entry fee and listen to the music and
chat and play on the fuss ball table and do those kind of activities. I joined
the team of adults who volunteered to look after and run the show for them. And
all were welcome. My job, was to look after the music station.. this big stereo
with speaker controls. I wasn’t a DJ, I was just told to make sure they didn’t
break it, or fight over what to play on it. Mainly, I just sat there and
listened to the boys laugh and joke and ask me silly questions. All in good
fun.
It was there, I met Aaron.
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