Conversation About A Proper Relationship

I stopped my car and Aaron reacted by looking up at me. We looked at each other and Aaron could see that I was getting frustrated.

“Aaron, I am still a little unknowing about my sexual status and I just, well I am nervous that is all. I just thought that I’d get used to being gay again first before jumping into bed with anyone and making a fool of myself. What if I am not gay but just curious or going through a stage in my life that is freaky? I don’t want to get to the point of sex and then freak out or find out I have hurt your feelings because I ain’t gay after all. I just need some time to adjust to it and enjoy it more. Don’t get me wrong I am not breaking this up but I just need to get there in my own pace so it will be extra special to me. That is all,” I said.

“Yeah Ok, maybe we should take our time?”

“Sorry, I understand where you are coming from. I didn’t mean to get under your skin that is all. I guess sex shouldn’t be undertaken as soon as eye contact is made. You are right we should take our time at this decision and not rush things,” I said agreeing.

“But when will you bum love me properly real?”

“We will do it soon I promise but let me get over this week first and then maybe this weekend we will ok?” I said smiling.

“Yeah ok that’s cool,”

“Besides if we all jump into the same bed on the first sight of love we would all be bored after a few months wouldn’t we?” I stated.

“What do you mean?”

“What I mean is if we just went straight into sex without the build up of love and feelings towards each other we would be bored very easily after a few months and then what? We would both be looking else where and if we were destined to be together on the note that we would work hard together to be in love then we would both be going against fate,” I said.

I was trying to explain why I didn’t want to have sex just yet. Really it was down to nervousness and fear that I didn’t want to have sex and I was hoping to delay it as long as possible to psych myself up. Plus I was feeling guilty for taking Aaron’s virginity.

“What drugs are you on?”

I realizing what I said was fuller of crap than a sewer rat, started to blush and then smile at Aaron.

“No drugs just trying to make a decision on life,” I said trying to undo the conversation.

“You are hiding something aren’t you? I know you too well, you want to tell me the real reason why you are taking things slowly but you can’t tell me because you are either ashamed or too nervous to come out with it,” Aaron summed up. He was completely right as well.

“Yeah maybe I am trying to delay it but I have my reasons and I just don’t want to rush anything that is all,” I said.

“You just don’t want to show love that’s all.”

“What you talking about? Of course I do.” I said

“You are just being silly.”

“No I ain’t” I said

“So do it then.”

“Give me time ok.” I said.

“Chicken”

“That’s mean.” I said.

“Yeah.”

“Besides I don’t wanna hurt you.” I said

“Nothing hurts me except maybe, I don’t know.”

“What?” I asked

“Forget it”

“Go on.” I demanded

“Forget it!” Aaron shouted.

“Ok I will let you off, but if there is anything troubling you please tell me and I can help,” I said in a caring tone.

 “Yeah man I will but this is something I need the week to think about and get sorted in my own way,”

“What is it, stiffy problems?” I suggested.

Aaron started laughing, not a normal laugh but one from the pits of a Neanderthal existence. So much so I had to stop driving and so he could get out of my car before dropping onto the grass holding his stomach.

“Fuck what’s up!” I screamed before realizing it wasn’t pain but laughter. Starting to smile and giggle I asked what the matter was about.

“Stiffy problems, you mean like right angled boat hooks!”

“What?” I asked not getting what ever the joke was.

“You think I have a hard on problem?”

“Jesus, not so loud!” I winced as other people were watching from across the street.

They made eye contact then I started off with the giggles finding a funny side. Then Aaron started taunting people with penis problems.

“Look mate, my cock would out elevate the Eiffel tower!”

Soon Aaron reduced himself to giggles and smiles as he lay flat on his back on the grass. A few sporadic laughs and some tears in his eyes as he calmed down.

“How could you think I was a freak?”.

“I didn’t think that,” I said sat next to him.

“You couldn’t be more wrong about why if you tried,” Aaron said looking up at the sky without looking at me.

I sat there looking at Aaron lay out on the grass with his knees bent and feet flat on the grass. Aaron was laid out with his bag acting like a pillow under his head starring up into the sky with his mouth a little open. My car was still next to the pavement with its engine still spinning and I went and turned the engine off. Aaron seemed to be in a dream state as he looked up.

“So what is it then?” I asked.

“I don’t know, I just can’t come around to thinking that I will fuck you,”

“For god sake keep your voice down will you?” I said looking around at the people walking past.

I looked at the boy who seemed to be in a world of his own.

“Are you ok?” I asked a little concerned.

“Yeah I am fine,”

He smiled and sat up looking at me and the people walking past.

“I never laughed like that before,” Aaron said standing up and brushing any grass off his clothes.

“You are weird man,” I said jokingly.

“Yeah but I am proud to be weird,”

I looked on at Aaron as he walked towards my car. Aaron has never been like this before. He seemed like he was over acting at certain things. He just seemed different and I didn’t know why or how. Maybe finding out that he is gay has changed the way that he looks at life now? I didn’t know what to make of it. Aaron sat in my car and waited for me to get in.

“Come on let’s go,”

“Yeah ok man but you need to see a doctor of something,” I said smiling.

“Do I?”

“No not really,” I said realizing that I just insulted Aaron.

“Come on man lets go,” I said as I started the engine again.

Aaron thought about that sudden change of atmosphere, it was a well planned trick to get me to drop the subject, it worked.

“Are you ok man?” I asked.

“Yeah I am fine mate,”

“So what happened back there?” I asked.

“Look I just thought of some one with a bent dick hanging off the corner of a building that is all and I don’t know I just started laughing,”

“You have a dirty mind man,” I said smiling more than usual.

“Yeah I know,”

“Look to end the conversation, I just need a little more time, maybe the rest of this week until I decide weather I would want to go to the next stage or not ok,” I said after a few seconds of silence.

“Ok I understand nutter,”

“Arf! Arf!” I replied.

I started giggling and looked at Aaron making dog panting faces, his tongue was out and flapping around like a dogs and he moved his nose around a bit.

“Arf!”