Aaron was just 8 years old when I first met him. At that
club on that one Friday evening back in January 1998. That weekend was a
pinnacle in my life. From the moment we started talking, I could see that Aaron
was special, in some tiny hidden way. Sure, he wasn’t no angel really. He was
rebellious and had trouble and dealings with the police on matters of theft and
truancy and disruptive behavior and he wasn’t exactly good at keeping his
temper at bay when those times came when he was just so frustrated with life,
parents and teachers.
Some would say he was a little brat that needed a jolly good
hiding and a smack around the face. But I knew he needed to be understood
better. He did have his reasons. Most of them I never got to find out. Why he
did what he did, say what he said. Act the way he acted. But to understand
Aaron. You need to understand some of the reasons why.
Aaron, as you have already noticed. Is an “Emo”
Definition.
Emo is a style of rock music characterized by melodic
musicianship and expressive, often confessional lyrics. It originated in the
mid-1980s hardcore punk movement of Washington,
D.C., where it was known as "emotional
hardcore" or "emocore" and pioneered by bands such as Rites of
Spring and Embrace. As the style was echoed by contemporary American punk rock
bands, its sound and meaning shifted and changed, blending with pop punk and indie rock
and encapsulated in the early 1990s by groups such as Jawbreaker and Sunny Day
Real Estate. By the mid 1990s numerous emo acts emerged from the Midwestern and
Central United States, and several independent record
labels began to specialize in the style.
Emo broke into mainstream culture in the early 2000s with
the platinum-selling success of Jimmy Eat World and Dashboard Confessional and
the emergence of the subgenre "screamo". In
recent years the term "emo" has been applied by critics and
journalists to a variety of artists, including multiplatinum acts and groups
with disparate styles and sounds.
In addition to music, "emo" is often used more
generally to signify a particular relationship between fans and artists, and to
describe related aspects of fashion, culture, and behavior.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emo_kid
Now, you know what an Emo is.. and how it started.. Source…
Wikipedia.
So, Aaron was a kid who had different "moods" and
different "feelings”. One day he would be happy, the next he would be
closed off from the rest of the world. Music was his release and his vessel for
showing his true feelings. The type of song he would play would be what ever
mood he is in. Ranging from heavy metal to pop to rock to golden oldies to
punk.
Other Aspects Of Being Emo
So apparently some young people now a days are into something called "being emo". (I'm getting so old). Pardon my lack of full understanding but I think they are the new Goths, but with less make-up and more Cluster B'ness (Goths seem to have more of a Cluster A component). I've been reading about this "pop culture" phenomenon and I can't figure out whether it is just a "phase" teens go through, and laugh it off as being ridiculous, or whether some of these people have some serious Cluster B (in particular Histrionic/Borderline features) issues.
My problem with the histrionics of "Emo-ness" (such as bragging about their pain/depression and cutting themselves) is that, assuming this kids are going "through a phase", adolescents with TRUE mood disorders will be accused of crying wolf. If reporting symptoms consistent with a mood disorder and self-injury becomes a "pop culture movement", then how are individuals with true mental illness supposed to be identified? (assuming that "emo-ness" isn't a red flag).
This is an important subject for me because 1. I am studying mood disorders in adolesence and 2. I have had double depression (depressive episodes superimposed on dysthymia) since age 11 - which, if you read this blog regularly, I have mentioned 10000 times. (Yes, I am a cliche, I got into psychology because of my depression/anxiety).
When I was a teenager, I did not dress in black, I was very withdrawn, mild-mannered and got excellent grades. I didn't do drugs or act out. The histrionic "emo" kids got all the treatment and attention and I resented it because I felt I needed help and no one would pay any attention. There's the assumption that if you are "sick" it needs to show. And those who scream the loudest are in most pain (and I understand why this is the case). For this reason, I don't fault people who use suicidal gesture/attempts as an instrumental way to get help they cannot/are not receiving. (But I don't recommend it, unless it's a LAST resort (i.e. gesture and reporting ideation) and you know what you are doing - suicide attempts are always a bad idea, especially for overachievers - but I'm only saying this because it is an anonymous blog. I would NEVER say this to a patient).
I have known happy-go-lucky individuals who have acted "Goth" (cough...Schizotypal...cough) and talked about pain and suffering and death and darkness because it was "cute" and "sexy" and "romantic".
While I do think that some of the greatest art (poetry, literature, painting, etc.) and research have been driven by great suffering (in combination with hardwork and talent), the beauty is not in the suffering per se but on the intelligence, creativity and elegance of the defenses (aka coping mechanisms for those of you who mock psychodynamic theory without realizing how much of the other theories have drawn from it but embellished it with fancier terms like "cognitive schemas").
In conclusion (hmmm...I don't have a point, but I'll try). 1. Mental illness is NOT fun, even though 2. Mental illness will give me and lots of people jobs, 3. Pretending, or having, a psychiatric problem IS NOT fashionable, it prevents people who are really sick from getting attention/help (I won't get into the argument that people who pretend to have symptoms have a disorder themselves - e.g. is factitious disorder really a disorder? "This issue is beyond the scope of this article"). 4. Suffering is only beautiful in as far as it is combined with talent to produce beautiful work.
I heartlessly summarize: don't wear ridiculous outfits or write crappy poetry. If you can't do anything useful/beautiful/helpful with your suffering (mature defenses!) do what I did half an hour ago and call your psychiatry and tell him/her you need more meds. And make an appointment with a therapist. If YOU MUST wallow in suffering, I recommend reading some Plath, Ibsen, and anything Russian. Watch war movies, and read international news. For a more bittersweet neuroticism watch/read Woody Allen and Kurt Vonnegut.
I have been writing a new treatment paradigm for work that therapists might do in the web to reach the generation of EMO children. I’m going to show you a video on cutting, because I want you to look at this through the lens of Depth Psychology with me. What you are seeing is extreme psychic pain.
Therapists know that self-harm like this is a way of releasing EMOTIONS that are trapped inside a person.
Other Aspects Of Being Emo
So apparently some young people now a days are into something called "being emo". (I'm getting so old). Pardon my lack of full understanding but I think they are the new Goths, but with less make-up and more Cluster B'ness (Goths seem to have more of a Cluster A component). I've been reading about this "pop culture" phenomenon and I can't figure out whether it is just a "phase" teens go through, and laugh it off as being ridiculous, or whether some of these people have some serious Cluster B (in particular Histrionic/Borderline features) issues.
My problem with the histrionics of "Emo-ness" (such as bragging about their pain/depression and cutting themselves) is that, assuming this kids are going "through a phase", adolescents with TRUE mood disorders will be accused of crying wolf. If reporting symptoms consistent with a mood disorder and self-injury becomes a "pop culture movement", then how are individuals with true mental illness supposed to be identified? (assuming that "emo-ness" isn't a red flag).
This is an important subject for me because 1. I am studying mood disorders in adolesence and 2. I have had double depression (depressive episodes superimposed on dysthymia) since age 11 - which, if you read this blog regularly, I have mentioned 10000 times. (Yes, I am a cliche, I got into psychology because of my depression/anxiety).
When I was a teenager, I did not dress in black, I was very withdrawn, mild-mannered and got excellent grades. I didn't do drugs or act out. The histrionic "emo" kids got all the treatment and attention and I resented it because I felt I needed help and no one would pay any attention. There's the assumption that if you are "sick" it needs to show. And those who scream the loudest are in most pain (and I understand why this is the case). For this reason, I don't fault people who use suicidal gesture/attempts as an instrumental way to get help they cannot/are not receiving. (But I don't recommend it, unless it's a LAST resort (i.e. gesture and reporting ideation) and you know what you are doing - suicide attempts are always a bad idea, especially for overachievers - but I'm only saying this because it is an anonymous blog. I would NEVER say this to a patient).
I have known happy-go-lucky individuals who have acted "Goth" (cough...Schizotypal...cough) and talked about pain and suffering and death and darkness because it was "cute" and "sexy" and "romantic".
While I do think that some of the greatest art (poetry, literature, painting, etc.) and research have been driven by great suffering (in combination with hardwork and talent), the beauty is not in the suffering per se but on the intelligence, creativity and elegance of the defenses (aka coping mechanisms for those of you who mock psychodynamic theory without realizing how much of the other theories have drawn from it but embellished it with fancier terms like "cognitive schemas").
In conclusion (hmmm...I don't have a point, but I'll try). 1. Mental illness is NOT fun, even though 2. Mental illness will give me and lots of people jobs, 3. Pretending, or having, a psychiatric problem IS NOT fashionable, it prevents people who are really sick from getting attention/help (I won't get into the argument that people who pretend to have symptoms have a disorder themselves - e.g. is factitious disorder really a disorder? "This issue is beyond the scope of this article"). 4. Suffering is only beautiful in as far as it is combined with talent to produce beautiful work.
I heartlessly summarize: don't wear ridiculous outfits or write crappy poetry. If you can't do anything useful/beautiful/helpful with your suffering (mature defenses!) do what I did half an hour ago and call your psychiatry and tell him/her you need more meds. And make an appointment with a therapist. If YOU MUST wallow in suffering, I recommend reading some Plath, Ibsen, and anything Russian. Watch war movies, and read international news. For a more bittersweet neuroticism watch/read Woody Allen and Kurt Vonnegut.
I have been writing a new treatment paradigm for work that therapists might do in the web to reach the generation of EMO children. I’m going to show you a video on cutting, because I want you to look at this through the lens of Depth Psychology with me. What you are seeing is extreme psychic pain.
Therapists know that self-harm like this is a way of releasing EMOTIONS that are trapped inside a person.
When I watched the video I saw certain words hop off the page.
STRESS
LONELINESS
PAIN
There must be other words that EMO children feel are trapped inside them?
Those are the WORDS that need to come out, okay?
It’s the same thing I was talking about yesterday when I was talking about ART THERAPY!
I want to tell you a story about a lady I worked with one time, because when she was little she was EMO. She told me that she had a special little box that she carried around for this same thing full of her tools. It totally surprised me — because I had never known anybody like her when I was growing up. Anyway, her story reminded me so much of this video above.
I am doing a really big research project right now on EMO people.
Here is what I think.
I think EMO people are like the poets and artists of the world?
Only, they are using their bodies when they want to say something? And it is hurting them.
I want to give you a free tool in the web that you can set up for yourself if you want to be part of this project.
What you can do is set up a blog in WordPress.com by using the theme called Vigilance. It’s the same one I use. Pick out a name for your blog and choose a gravatar for yourself. You don’t have to identify yourself at all, okay?
Here is what this project is about. Instead of cutting yourself to let those words out?
You are going to let all those feelings out on the pages of your blog! By using ART and WORDS.
How you do this is totally up to you?
But if you want you can come by my blog and say Hi! Because everybody that uses a WordPress.com blog is in a big safe circle of people.
That is my real face that you see.
Almost all of the ART I have seen EMO people do has a big picture of a broken heart attached to it. So, if you started to talk about that broken heart what would it look like could you draw a picture of it?
If that heart was going to scream out something, what would it say?
STRESS
LONELINESS
PAIN
There must be other words that EMO children feel are trapped inside them?
Those are the WORDS that need to come out, okay?
It’s the same thing I was talking about yesterday when I was talking about ART THERAPY!
I want to tell you a story about a lady I worked with one time, because when she was little she was EMO. She told me that she had a special little box that she carried around for this same thing full of her tools. It totally surprised me — because I had never known anybody like her when I was growing up. Anyway, her story reminded me so much of this video above.
I am doing a really big research project right now on EMO people.
Here is what I think.
I think EMO people are like the poets and artists of the world?
Only, they are using their bodies when they want to say something? And it is hurting them.
I want to give you a free tool in the web that you can set up for yourself if you want to be part of this project.
What you can do is set up a blog in WordPress.com by using the theme called Vigilance. It’s the same one I use. Pick out a name for your blog and choose a gravatar for yourself. You don’t have to identify yourself at all, okay?
Here is what this project is about. Instead of cutting yourself to let those words out?
You are going to let all those feelings out on the pages of your blog! By using ART and WORDS.
How you do this is totally up to you?
But if you want you can come by my blog and say Hi! Because everybody that uses a WordPress.com blog is in a big safe circle of people.
That is my real face that you see.
Almost all of the ART I have seen EMO people do has a big picture of a broken heart attached to it. So, if you started to talk about that broken heart what would it look like could you draw a picture of it?
If that heart was going to scream out something, what would it say?
Link To Emo Site
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