Me: Well, I guess all that’s left now is the make-up sex.
Aaron: Does that mean we get to dress up like KISS?
Me: The clue is “Pain In The Neck”, seven letters.
Aaron: Your name is shorter than seven letters.
Aaron: What’s that chick’s name again?
Me: Heather.
Aaron: That’s a whore’s name.
Aaron: “Just because you’re intelligent and correct does not mean I am going to listen to you.”
Me: What did you think of me when we first met?
Aaron: I thought you were sane.
Me: Your fly is open.
Aaron: I’M ADVERTISING.
Aaron: I thought about you at school today.
Me: Oh that’s so sweet! How come?
Aaron: We ran out of sandwiches in the cafeteria.
Aaron: Now look what you’ve done, you’ve messed up my hair!
Me: No, I like it like that. It covers your face.
Me: So … what’s a man have to do to get you out of those pants?
Aaron: Offer to wash them.
Me: Would you help me up?
Aaron: *grabs my crotch*
Me: That’s not helping me up.
Aaron: It’s helping me up.
Me: What would possess you to get a cock tattooed on your body.
Aaron: You’d have to be a pretty intense cum hoover.
Me: Quit your complaining, most girls fart more than me.
Aaron: If that were true they would all be hovering above the ground.
Me: Did I tell you what I did at the work today?
Aaron: Was it see how many things you could put in your bum until it started to hurt?
Me: How the hell do you come up with this stuff? Are you bored a lot?
Aaron: Not anymore!
Me: Why are you so sexy?
Aaron: God didn’t like the idea of all the crazy people looking creepy.
“You have the hungriest butt on earth. Don’t sit down on anything, you’ll suck up the furniture.”
Aaron: I want popcorn.
Me: You could eat a can of chick peas.
Aaron: Wow! I could also eat the carpet!
Aaron: You’re retarded.
Her: I know you are, but what am I?
Aaron: More retarded.
Me: … and the prize was really good, it was a trip to a place any teenager would want to go.
Aaron: You mean Wanking Camp, right?
Aaron: Why are you nipping around in the scud?
Me: What?
Aaron: You’re, you know, hanging around in your altogether.
Me: Can you come up with any other vague English ways of saying I’m naked?
Aaron: Shhh. You’ll embarrass both of us.
Aaron: You’re such a dirty little … faggot?
Me: Way to ruin it.
“I always get people gifts I would want myself. Therefore, this year, you’re getting a gun.”
Me: You know what’s weird?
Aaron: Your two vaginas?
“I don’t have to ask for permission. Permission is assumed when I have a boner.”
Me: Why do you like Chuck Norris so much?
Aaron: Because there is a 50/50 chance he is somewhere boning your sister.
Me: Could you butter that toast for me?
Aaron: Yes. And by “butter that toast” I mean “bum you til your teeth rattle.”
Me: Did you just call me a dick or a dink?
Aaron: Dunno, which one hurts more?
Me: You can find the best presents in the garbage.
Aaron: That’s a dog’s way of thinking.
Aaron: I feel like I’m going to die when you’re driving.
Me: Well … you’re gay.
Aaron: I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit a better comeback than that.
Me: I love you.
Aaron: Good. The last thing I need is more enemies.
Aaron: Does my hair look ok?
Me: You have hair?!
Me: Why did you just eat that?
Aaron: How else was i supposed to know what it is?
Me: I think you’re the most beautiful thing in the world.
Aaron: *blush* You are so lying!
Me: Oh, sorry, I was just talking to my arm muscles.
Me: You know, teddy bears and robots are mortal enemies.
Aaron: Really. Since when.
Me: It’s been a few years now.
Aaron: C’mere and kiss me, chicken lips.
Me: I DO NOT HAVE CHICKEN LIPS.
Aaron: Sorry. C’mere and kiss me, chicken flaps.
Me: What would make you feel better?
Aaron: A CIGARETTE.
Me: Well, you can’t have one of those, so what else would you like?
Aaron: A BLOW JOB.
Me: Let me slap your ass, because it’s the third sexiest thing I’ve seen in my entire life.
Aaron: Third? What are the other two?
Me: Probably something from TV.
Me: Are you even listening to me?
Aaron: YES! KIND OF!
Aaron: Thank you.
Me: Why are you thanking me?
Aaron: I was talking to my cock.
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